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newtus
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Default Aug 21, 2012 at 09:33 PM
  #1
i remember times when i had this friend and i would ask him why people didnt like me and he said basically becuase i was pathetic. he didnt say that but he said i come on stuff like forums and ask people online and because i dont talk...and just other stuff that was really simple and true. but i still dont understand because theres people who do that too out there and they seem to be getting along just fine or ok.

i dont understand why people dont like me.

am i setting myself up for bad when i dont leave my house and dont meet people or is it possible to just get up and talk to someone whenever?

i feel like the only way to meet people is do drugs. because ive been able to get along with that type of crowd easier than others even though i hate it the most. and have been F-d over by them the most.

i always wanted to be in the "smart" crowd in high school or college but i was too rebellious too. they saw that and didnt like it. yet i was too scared and naive to be in the actual rebellious crowd. they saw that in me and made fun of me. so i was a complete and i mean complete loner.

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newtus
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Default Aug 21, 2012 at 09:39 PM
  #2
i have teenage neighbors that make fun of me. asking me why i never leave the house. what am i supposed to say? "because i have no friends" "because im paranoid".

dont worry. i dont really hang around them anyway.

i left my hometown after my parents divorced with one parent. i was so happy to because i was the weird scary loner kid or the one everyone made fun of since my childhood in that town and i was happy to get away from the people. only to move here and its like its worse because ive had all these run-ins with my schiz.

so now im like a real scary loner who the news talks about and everyone should be afraid of. but thats not really me.

i feel like ive tricked and trained myself into this lifestyle but i havent. i have not. it just feels that way because everytime i think about changing i tell myself just to stay the same and dont worry about everyone elses thinkign.

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newtus
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Default Aug 21, 2012 at 09:43 PM
  #3
i just want to cry thinking about all this stuff......and people.

my life is s**T
it is.
past few years ago i had people tell me they remembered me in high school looking so scary or so scared. they were either scared of me or thought i was entirely pathetic.

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Default Aug 22, 2012 at 04:16 AM
  #4
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Originally Posted by newtus View Post
i remember times when i had this friend and i would ask him why people didnt like me and he said basically becuase i was pathetic. he didnt say that but he said i come on stuff like forums and ask people online and because i dont talk...and just other stuff that was really simple and true. but i still dont understand because theres people who do that too out there and they seem to be getting along just fine or ok.
I'm sorry he said that to you. He doesn't sound like a real friend.

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i dont understand why people dont like me.
Well, I think the thing is that *nobody* is universally liked. You seem to have a worse time than most finding people who are civil to you -- I have no idea why that is. Is it possible for you to write a list of people who have been kind to you in the past? Then you can look at it to remind yourself that you're not universally reviled. I remember you saying something about a coffee shop attendant who remembered you -- can you put him/her first on the list?

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i feel like the only way to meet people is do drugs. because ive been able to get along with that type of crowd easier than others even though i hate it the most. and have been F-d over by them the most.
Well, that's certainly a way to meet doctors and lawyers. :-/

Would you like something like a straight edge crowd, where they have the same kind of rebellious attitude but without the intoxicating substances?




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Default Aug 22, 2012 at 04:23 AM
  #5
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i have teenage neighbors that make fun of me. asking me why i never leave the house. what am i supposed to say? "because i have no friends" "because im paranoid".
"Because when I go outside, you idiots are there."

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so now im like a real scary loner who the news talks about and everyone should be afraid of. but thats not really me.
You know what, hun? I've met and interviewed people through my work for whom these things are really true. The papers do talk about them, write about them . . . and people should be afraid of them -- these are war criminals, dictators, members of the government, etc.

And you know, I think you torture yourself more in one night that any of those bastards that I have to interview for work. I met someone recently who is accused of ordering the massacre of 30,000 people (and everybody knows he did it, just he'll never stand trial for it), and even he seemed not to have a care in the world.
I hope you can become like that, because (unlike those people) you actually deserve it.

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Default Aug 22, 2012 at 08:41 AM
  #6
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I remember you saying something about a coffee shop attendant who remembered you -- can you put him/her first on the list?
yea funny thing about that is they just quit the job and moved away to a far away city...

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Default Aug 22, 2012 at 08:41 AM
  #7
Sometimes it's the clothes people wear - like if you look different from other people - sometimes that can make people get ignored as well.

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Default Aug 22, 2012 at 11:36 AM
  #8
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Sometimes it's the clothes people wear - like if you look different from other people - sometimes that can make people get ignored as well.
thats why i made it a point after high school to wear extremely plain clothes as to not associate with any trend of my age. i wear blue or black jeans with no embellishments and white shirts with nothing on them. and usually a plain black hoodie with nothing on it.

sometimes a black/white stripped hoodie.
my dad says i look like a prisoner with that one.
cause i live behind the county juvie and adult jail.

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Default Aug 22, 2012 at 12:01 PM
  #9
It might be because of the clothes - that's not a critism, just trying to think of other reasons , well it can't all be that because of that, but maybe you don't fit into a clique.

So people might think they won't have much in common - sometimes people are shallow.

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Default Aug 22, 2012 at 12:11 PM
  #10
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sometimes people are shallow.
i know and thats part of the reason why i hate people so much. that and ignorance and also what most believe is so important in life. especially people my age...partying and drugs/drinking. its all BS.

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Default Aug 22, 2012 at 01:03 PM
  #11
I'm not into partying or drugs.

Sometimes though I think maybe legal highs might make me feel better for a little while - never taken any though.

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Default Aug 22, 2012 at 02:26 PM
  #12
cigs give me a high. at the same time they make me feel like s**T

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