[All_voices_are_evil]

Hello, my name is Aaron and I have been a schizophrenic for 5 years this month. I'm 19 turning 20 on Aug.29th. I'm not gonna give you my life biography I just want some reasonable explanations as to why this is happening. I'm having these re-occurring dream-like-states on which it's as if I'm dreaming but it seems more real and a lot more vivid and more clear. But each time this dream like states occur my schizophrenia controls it. The first time this happened I was sleeping on my sisters apartment floor and I was having that dream like state occur. It's obvious my illness was controlling it because not only did everyone look my hallucinations but I was getting mentally tortured. This situation with an extremely obese looking hallucination kept making me go through the same scenario over and over again which seemed liked dozens of times. It was extremely unsettling and very annoying (which what my illness loves acting like). The latest one occurred about a week ago. I was in like a dream like fantasy and there was this green entity that resembled the devil that first haunted me during my first psychotic break. But in this dream it was trying to scare me and it was physically torturing me on my *** with mind powers. I remember cringing and yelling from the pain as it stood next to me torturing me physically. There was a lot to this dream than that I thought I just would point out that in these dream like states me illness like mentally and physically torturing me. I should also point out that I have never been tortured in my actual dreams before like this. I'm very certain my illness in controlling it. So my questions is; why is my schizophrenia controlling these dream like states and what are these dream like states called? My other questions is, is why every schizophrenia pure evil? It seems that every hallucinations I hear about from people the voices or hallucinations are evil. They are either acting nice towards the people the gain their trust so they can harm themselves and or out right openly evil constantly harassing the schizophrenic.

[costello]

Originally Posted by All_voices_are_evil

I just want some reasonable explanations as to why this is happening.

I'm sorry, hon. No one really knows why it happens. Lots of theories out there. No answer yet that makes sense for everyone. People find ways of managing it. And some people find it improves with time. I really wish I could figure out why also - so I could help my son. I've been trying for about 7 years now. I'm nowhere closer than when I started.

There are a lot of supportive people here, though.

[MoonFairy]

Originally Posted by All_voices_are_evil

Hello, my name is Aaron and I have been a schizophrenic for 5 years this month. I'm 19 turning 20 on Aug.29th. I'm not gonna give you my life biography I just want some reasonable explanations as to why this is happening. I'm having these re-occurring dream-like-states on which it's as if I'm dreaming but it seems more real and a lot more vivid and more clear. But each time this dream like states occur my schizophrenia controls it. The first time this happened I was sleeping on my sisters apartment floor and I was having that dream like state occur. It's obvious my illness was controlling it because not only did everyone look my hallucinations but I was getting mentally tortured. This situation with an extremely obese looking hallucination kept making me go through the same scenario over and over again which seemed liked dozens of times. It was extremely unsettling and very annoying (which what my illness loves acting like). The latest one occurred about a week ago. I was in like a dream like fantasy and there was this green entity that resembled the devil that first haunted me during my first psychotic break. But in this dream it was trying to scare me and it was physically torturing me on my *** with mind powers. I remember cringing and yelling from the pain as it stood next to me torturing me physically. There was a lot to this dream than that I thought I just would point out that in these dream like states me illness like mentally and physically torturing me. I should also point out that I have never been tortured in my actual dreams before like this. I'm very certain my illness in controlling it. So my questions is; why is my schizophrenia controlling these dream like states and what are these dream like states called? My other questions is, is why every schizophrenia pure evil? It seems that every hallucinations I hear about from people the voices or hallucinations are evil. They are either acting nice towards the people the gain their trust so they can harm themselves and or out right openly evil constantly harassing the schizophrenic.

No not every voices are evil and from Satan. Mine saved my life. Mine told me that there was something wrong with my mind and that I should call 911. Then it said whatever my will is let it go and listen to the doctors and nurses instructions. It was tough for my will and my feelings was that I am not sick. I just studied too late and did not get enough sleep. Do I really need meds? Why are they viewing me as if I am evil? or unsavable? with such grim faces? Later, when going through rehab I thought medication is the reason for my illness, it makes me sleep too much. Looking into the Doctors eyes, I saw their thoughts, "that poor girl, she will never get better but will rely on meds all her life. As long as she rely on meds, she will lose faith, lose eternal life, lose Jesus." I was so tempted to go off meds...when recovered for 3-4 years after I did get off it thinking for me to be a Christian, I need to be off meds, everyone thinks this way. Then I had my relaps and remembers what Jesus told me...no matter what I think or feel or my will is listen to Dr. So I continued with my meds til this day. So people may think I am evil, I am a child of Satan or I may not mount to anything. I don't care. I may be these things, that may be my past childhood. I was unloving, ungracious and unmerciful but I know one thing from this voice who sustains me is that my Jesus, the Greatest Physician, loves me despite my short comings. He continued to love me and provides for me til this day. He does not care if I was His enemy, the important factor is do I choose to continue being so. If not, then start listening and participating in life. First by taking meds, then by exercising and eating right, lastly, love...love everything, anything and everyone. Love covers all multitude of sins...and illnesses that arise from it. If taking meds allow me to enter into the realm of reality and communicate this, I will submit. That's all that matters to me.

[All_voices_are_evil]

Originally Posted by costello

I'm sorry, hon. No one really knows why it happens. Lots of theories out there. No answer yet that makes sense for everyone. People find ways of managing it. And some people find it improves with time. I really wish I could figure out why also - so I could help my son. I've been trying for about 7 years now. I'm nowhere closer than when I started.

There are a lot of supportive people here, though.

I know how my illness began I just want to know why it's occurring in my dreams as well. I know it has been only 5 years but from the time I stopped smoking marijuana it has not changed. It just finds new ways to annoy me every few months. It's an ever changing illness that makes itself appear as to having a mind of it's own.

[costello]

Originally Posted by All_voices_are_evil

I know how my illness began I just want to know why it's occurring in my dreams as well.

I don't know. Maybe because mental illness happens in your minds and so do dreams, so it's not too surprising they'd interact.

I know it has been only 5 years but from the time I stopped smoking marijuana it has not changed.

Yeah, same with my son. A couple years ago, when he first moved back home, I thought once he was off the marijuana and his mind cleared, he'd be okay. Nope.

It just finds new ways to annoy me every few months. It's an ever changing illness that makes itself appear as to having a mind of it's own.

Sorry.

[All_voices_are_evil]

Originally Posted by MoonFairy

No not every voices are evil and from Satan. Mine saved my life. Mine told me that there was something wrong with my mind and that I should call 911. Then it said whatever my will is let it go and listen to the doctors and nurses instructions. It was tough for my will and my feelings was that I am not sick. I just studied too late and did not get enough sleep. Do I really need meds? Why are they viewing me as if I am evil? or unsavable? with such grim faces? Later, when going through rehab I thought medication is the reason for my illness, it makes me sleep too much. Looking into the Doctors eyes, I saw their thoughts, "that poor girl, she will never get better but will rely on meds all her life. As long as she rely on meds, she will lose faith, lose eternal life, lose Jesus." I was so tempted to go off meds...when recovered for 3-4 years after I did get off it thinking for me to be a Christian, I need to be off meds, everyone thinks this way. Then I had my relaps and remembers what Jesus told me...no matter what I think or feel or my will is listen to Dr. So I continued with my meds til this day. So people may think I am evil, I am a child of Satan or I may not mount to anything. I don't care. I may be these things, that may be my past childhood. I was unloving, ungracious and unmerciful but I know one thing from this voice who sustains me is that my Jesus, the Greatest Physician, loves me despite my short comings. He continued to love me and provides for me til this day. He does not care if I was His enemy, the important factor is do I choose to continue being so. If not, then start listening and participating in life. First by taking meds, then by exercising and eating right, lastly, love...love everything, anything and everyone. Love covers all multitude of sins...and illnesses that arise from it. If taking meds allow me to enter into the realm of reality and communicate this, I will submit. That's all that matters to me.

Your voices are deceiving you. They are only saying those things to gain your trust so they can make you harm yourself or make you do things. I have never heard of a voice with actual good intentions. Or they are just mimicking what other people have said to you also in order to gain your trust. All voices are out to get you. Also, you do not need a religion in order give you comfort. Spirituality is not only superior in it's understanding but also in it's knowledge about life, what Christianity cannot offer. Spirituality is of complete love whereas millions of Christians are not. Everyday they express their hatred for what offends their beliefs.

[ickydog2006]

That's why I hate dreaming. They are almost always distorted nightmares. Meds help keep mine at bay, but now my dreams are so realistic that I have a really hard time distinguishing them from reality. I'll be talking to someone and find out that certain things never happened.

[ickydog2006]

As for my voice, it was mostly annoying and tried to get me distracted and focused on my disturbing hallucinations. Other wise it was just doing a running commentary on my life, trying to distract me and get me to talk back to it.

A lot of my dreams have my symptoms in them, too. Or I'll have dreams of being locked up or my IRL delusions coming true. Or just I'll have these nightmares where I can't stop thinking & I feel trapped, like I have to solve some sort of code in order to not die in my sleep. I know how scary it is. But maybe try practicing better sleep hygiene & it will go away for the most part? Try some valerian/melatonin tablets & some warm honeyed milk or chamomile tea. Make sure you have a good sleeping schedule & possibly rule out the nightmares being a medication side-effect?

"Your voices are deceiving you. They are only saying those things to gain your trust so they can make you harm yourself or make you do things. I have never heard of a voice with actual good intentions. Or they are just mimicking what other people have said to you also in order to gain your trust."

That's not necessarily true. I've heard that oftentimes, our voices are an externalization of our inner dialogue. And they either reflect what we think of ourselves (persecutory) or they tell us what we desperately need to hear (grandiose or helpful). I've only had one or two mean voices, but most of them don't really say much of anything at all... I don't have low self-esteem, so they have no bad feelings to feed off of & make me feel powerless.