[RunningEagleRuns]

why doesnt it end? iv been told it will get better,,, but it hasnt

the stupid pills dont work enough and the church i go to doesnt help.

people cause me suffering. they give me mean voices and yell when i dont do what the voices want. the voices can go to hell

ill leave my church before i kill myself.. to tell you the truth im pissed at the people in my church. they are jerks

what do i have to lose?!

they make me suffer so much... and they get off free

[costello]

That's life. There's struggle sometimes.

Sometimes things are good too. Or at least not as bad. The trick is to notice the good stuff too.

Don't know what to say about the people in your church. Most people are jerks sometimes and not jerks at other times. I think the trick is to try to figure out which behaviors you can tolerate and which you can't, which behaviors you like and which you don't, then try to find people who have the fewest traits you hate and the most you like.

We're meant to struggle, you know, RER. And we're meant to learn to get along with people even if they're difficult. Just like you need exercise to keep your body healthy and intellectual challenges to keep you brain sharp, you need emotional and spiritual challenges to make yourself stronger emotionally and spiritually. It's just a matter of not overwhelming yourself if possible.

[optimize990h]

RunningEagleRuns: you are not alone with these types of thoughts. Others, including myself have felt the same feelings and thoughts. Whatever difficulty I face, I have to centre my thinking away from "stinky thinking". The negative thoughts that cause me mental suffering can be described as pain. So, I must make pain my friend to survive. I think of the now to make it through 1minute is a goal. One minute at a time feeling good by ignoring the pain for a short time.

This is a suggestion from my own experience, just remember take what you like and leave the rest behind. Take care.

[RunningEagleRuns]

thank you both

[costello]

Originally Posted by RunningEagleRuns

thank you both

Hope things are better today.

[faerie_moon_x]

It does get better but it can take a long time. I had suicidal ideation almost constantly from about 11 years old until just about a year ago and I'm 33 now. I overcame it by constantly fighting it and imagining myself as a warrior and it's the demon I fight.

As for everything else, I'm not sure, but I know that is one thing that can be defeated but it also takes vigilance.

People can be annoying. I don't like having too many people around. At the same time I want friends. It's kind of frustrating. Hard to find good people. But that's not our fault, that's the fault of the person who is being a jerk. Learning the "it's not me it's them" technique is good thing sometimes. I'm sorry to say but sometimes church people don't live up to the high standards they preach.

I hope you're feeling better today.

[RunningEagleRuns]

man this stuff wont leave me alone. damn voices

[costello]

Originally Posted by RunningEagleRuns

man this stuff wont leave me alone. damn voices

I wish I could make them go away.

[RunningEagleRuns]

i dont know what to do. i want to die

[costello]

Originally Posted by RunningEagleRuns

i dont know what to do. i want to die

I'm so sorry, hon.

I think you may have to find approaches to the voices and other problems in addition to the meds. Are you seeing a therapist? Are you being taught coping mechanisms? Are you exploring what, if anything, the voices and other symptoms mean?