Could this be psychosis?

Otulissa · Jun 13, 2013 at 06:15 PM

Hopefully it will help, I know it might take quite a few tries to find the right med. And dark heart you made me feel better knowing that even a long lasting delusion can eventually go away.

faerie_moon_x · Jun 14, 2013 at 10:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Otulissa

Hopefully it will help, I know it might take quite a few tries to find the right med. And dark heart you made me feel better knowing that even a long lasting delusion can eventually go away.

I just want to let you know I have no idea why it went away.

I also want to let you know I had absolutely 0 idea it was a delusion when it was happening. None at all. The only reason I even know about it is that after it was over I was confronted with the initial trigger. But, for whatever reason, instead I was able to look at it and realize it was a delusion at that time.

So, that's the other thing I want to tell you. Major delusions are unrecognizable from absolute reality, which makes it less likely that what you're having is a delusion. It sounds more like disassociation which is not a delusion.

Otulissa · Jun 14, 2013 at 10:09 AM

Whatever it is I just hope it isn't permanent, its very scary to think about thinking this way for the rest of my life.

faerie_moon_x · Jun 14, 2013 at 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Otulissa

Whatever it is I just hope it isn't permanent, its very scary to think about thinking this way for the rest of my life.

In my experience it comes and goes. Everyone is different, though. Also in my experience it's just a symptom that goes along with whatever else is happening. So, the more manic I am the more I disassociate, I've realized. It happens less when I'm more depressed.

But, I do remember when I was a junior in high school I had lifted out of the very long depression I was in, and I was walking home from school. The world around me was so colorful. I remember looking up and realizing trees had branches and leaves and being able to see them. Before the world had just been a muted backdrop. Suddenly it was in full life color. It was amazing and breath-taking, and I remember it perfectly today and how amazing it felt. And that was like 17 years ago.

Jun 14, 2013 at 07:46 PM

Otulissa: This was my very first real, giant, scary obsession. I still spar with it on occasion... But a combination of meditation & learning how to cope with my anxiety truly lessened it. And I actually feel at peace with the uncertainty of whether the world is in my head or not. If it is, it doesn't make it any less real, because everything I experience is very real. Hopefully the medication(s) will alleviate your anxiety & hopefully you will see a therapist because they may help you deal with these thoughts. In a much quicker manner than by yourself.

Otulissa · Jun 15, 2013 at 08:28 AM

Thanks, I hope so. When you are not thinking about it does life revert to normal? Like, you don't feel alone when you are with people? I can accept always thinking about it on occasion, I just hope when im not things are good again.

Jun 15, 2013 at 05:17 PM

I've just come to accept that life is never really normal -- not even when you have no disorders! But I know what you're trying to say. The biggest obstacle is taking care of the ANXIETY! That is what is making you terrified. There are a lot of things in the world we can't understand or control, but what we can control is how we respond to it... Or at least we can work towards it.

Otulissa · Jun 15, 2013 at 06:24 PM

I hope you're right Shay, ive never felt so terrible in my life. I just want to feel I have my family back.

Otulissa · Jun 26, 2013 at 04:29 PM

I cant take this much longer, ive had several people tell me this wont ever go away, which has ripped a lot of hope from me, and I still have about 2 months to wait for help

I wish I knew if I told them how urgent this was getting maybe they could squeeze mee in somewhere but I don't want to seem pushy.

Sometimes psychotic · Jun 26, 2013 at 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Otulissa

I cant take this much longer, ive had several people tell me this wont ever go away, which has ripped a lot of hope from me, and I still have about 2 months to wait for help

I wish I knew if I told them how urgent this was getting maybe they could squeeze mee in somewhere but I don't want to seem pushy.

I can't believe you need to wait so long, get as pushy as you need to get help...I was seen in one day. It will get better.

Otulissa · Jun 26, 2013 at 06:00 PM

I'm so afraid. Why are some people telling me it never goes as away? Do you think maybe they just haven't recovered yet?

Sometimes psychotic · Jun 26, 2013 at 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Otulissa

I'm so afraid. Why are some people telling me it never goes as away? Do you think maybe they just haven't recovered yet?

Not everyone responds to medication unfortunately but you won't know until you try. If it is psychosis the sooner it's treated the less ingrained the belief and the better your chance of recovery. See if you can bump up the appointment.

Otulissa · Jun 26, 2013 at 08:42 PM

Even if it got pretty bad, since I know on one level it cant possibly be true, does that keep a chance of recovery hopeful?

Sometimes psychotic · Jun 26, 2013 at 08:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Otulissa

Even if it got pretty bad, since I know on one level it cant possibly be true, does that keep a chance of recovery hopeful?

Sure...I had terrible psychosis without any idea I had it for about a month and a half and recovered completely over the course of six months with meds and therapy. The sooner you get it treated the better your chances though. I'm still not sure you have psychosis though, you really need a pdoc.

Otulissa · Jun 26, 2013 at 08:53 PM

I know. Its so confusing. I don't know much about psychosis, I just know it feels like something isn't 'working' right anymore.

Otulissa · Jun 28, 2013 at 06:12 PM

Got some good news, the pdocs place called and said they could move me up from Aug 29th to July 11th. Im glad to be going sooner, but im still pretty nervous about it.

Sometimes psychotic · Jun 28, 2013 at 06:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Otulissa

Got some good news, the pdocs place called and said they could move me up from Aug 29th to July 11th. Im glad to be going sooner, but im still pretty nervous about it.

That's great...don't worry they'll help you. Just tell them what you told us.

Pond · Jun 28, 2013 at 07:42 PM

I definitely have the feeling that I am not real, that maybe I'm dreaming. I think it's because I have lost a lot of my childhood memories during long periods of delusional thinking. The medication worked really well. It is very calming. Because of my social anxiety, I wrote everything down and figured if worst came to worst I would just hand them the note. As it turned out everything was fine. Don't worry the Pdoc will ask helpful questions. It hasn't gone away for me, but it's definitely better.

Pond

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Could this be psychosis?

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Otulissa Member Member Since Jun 2013 Posts: 50 11	Jun 13, 2013 at 06:15 PM #21 Hopefully it will help, I know it might take quite a few tries to find the right med. And dark heart you made me feel better knowing that even a long lasting delusion can eventually go away.
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Otulissa Member Member Since Jun 2013 Posts: 50 11	Jun 14, 2013 at 10:09 AM #23 Whatever it is I just hope it isn't permanent, its very scary to think about thinking this way for the rest of my life.
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Otulissa Member Member Since Jun 2013 Posts: 50 11	Jun 15, 2013 at 08:28 AM #26 Thanks, I hope so. When you are not thinking about it does life revert to normal? Like, you don't feel alone when you are with people? I can accept always thinking about it on occasion, I just hope when im not things are good again.
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Otulissa Member Member Since Jun 2013 Posts: 50 11	Jun 15, 2013 at 06:24 PM #28 I hope you're right Shay, ive never felt so terrible in my life. I just want to feel I have my family back.
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Otulissa Member Member Since Jun 2013 Posts: 50 11	Jun 26, 2013 at 04:29 PM #29 I cant take this much longer, ive had several people tell me this wont ever go away, which has ripped a lot of hope from me, and I still have about 2 months to wait for help I wish I knew if I told them how urgent this was getting maybe they could squeeze mee in somewhere but I don't want to seem pushy.
	Reply With Quote

Otulissa Member Member Since Jun 2013 Posts: 50 11	Jun 26, 2013 at 06:00 PM #31 I'm so afraid. Why are some people telling me it never goes as away? Do you think maybe they just haven't recovered yet?
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Otulissa Member Member Since Jun 2013 Posts: 50 11	Jun 26, 2013 at 08:42 PM #33 Even if it got pretty bad, since I know on one level it cant possibly be true, does that keep a chance of recovery hopeful?
	Reply With Quote

Otulissa Member Member Since Jun 2013 Posts: 50 11	Jun 26, 2013 at 08:53 PM #35 I know. Its so confusing. I don't know much about psychosis, I just know it feels like something isn't 'working' right anymore.
	Reply With Quote

Otulissa Member Member Since Jun 2013 Posts: 50 11	Jun 28, 2013 at 06:12 PM #36 Got some good news, the pdocs place called and said they could move me up from Aug 29th to July 11th. Im glad to be going sooner, but im still pretty nervous about it.
	Reply With Quote