Could this be psychosis?

Otulissa · Jun 12, 2013 at 07:24 PM

For 6 months ive been obsessing about solipsism; what if nothing is real, what if my mind created everything. Sounds crazy I know. But it wont stop. Has anyone had this terribly bad and made it through? Is there hope that one day this will be behind me? This is really my first bout with mental issues, so I don't know how much I should hope. Is it normal to have some level of insight? Its like I know theres a problem with me, that the thoughts aren't true, but I just cant convince myself...hard to explain. I just want to feel like I have my family back.... Ill be seeing a pdoc soon, but im just interested if this sounds like it could be something more than just anxiety..

Sometimes psychotic · Jun 12, 2013 at 08:05 PM

Probably not. Still if it is psychosis then it's true that your mind might have created everything. From my perspective my mind did create certain things and I can't always differentiate them from reality. So far as I'm concerned the brain has created this entire world it may be entirely different than reality...but to that I say so what....it's still the only world I have to live in....while I was sick I thought I might be a part of the matrix and taking whatever pill the hospital gave me was the only way out. Good that you're seeing a pdoc but don't expect an on the spot diagnosis they tend to be a bit reserved when it comes to that.

Jun 13, 2013 at 01:20 AM

I think it reminds me a bit like you have dissociation. It's what i had out of the blue a few days ago. like your watching a movie type thing? If not, my brother had this. I think its normal I can't really tell.

newtus · Jun 13, 2013 at 10:45 AM

dissociation definitely isnt normal if its ongoing.

i have it often. but it happens a lot.

faerie_moon_x · Jun 13, 2013 at 11:00 AM

I also have disossication quite a bit. Almost every day at least 1 time but often more. I hate it when it happens, because it just makes me feel off balance.

I say track your thoughts/feelings on it so you can show the pdoc.

Otulissa · Jun 13, 2013 at 02:13 PM

I cant take these thoughts forever, they're tearing me up! My parents, I love them so much, but they feel like strangers now when I question if they are real. Why wont this go away...im so afraid the pdoc wont be able to do anything, and I cant take it much longer.

Sometimes psychotic · Jun 13, 2013 at 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Otulissa

I cant take these thoughts forever, they're tearing me up! My parents, I love them so much, but they feel like strangers now when I question if they are real. Why wont this go away...im so afraid the pdoc wont be able to do anything, and I cant take it much longer.

You'll be OK---the pdoc will give you some meds---thats what pdocs do, trust me you won't walk out of there without a script for something. I just meant they often take time to tell you what your diagnosis is. They don't like to do that for some reason, but meds yeah you'll probably be getting at least one. Hopefully it will help.

faerie_moon_x · Jun 13, 2013 at 02:27 PM

I think they take their time on diagnosing because since there are no blood tests or anything they have to observe you for a while. I think a doc who gives you a dx on the first visit is not a good doc, and anyone could walk in and say whatever and they will get meds for no reason.

A good doctor will take time and get to know you and try to see the variation in your behavior over time. Besides all those quesntion tests they give us, that's the only way to figure out what's up.

Otulissa · Jun 13, 2013 at 02:41 PM

Im afraid if it isn't something actually 'wrong' and its just me somehow, that ill have to live with it.

Sometimes psychotic · Jun 13, 2013 at 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dark_heart_x

I think they take their time on diagnosing because since there are no blood tests or anything they have to observe you for a while. I think a doc who gives you a dx on the first visit is not a good doc, and anyone could walk in and say whatever and they will get meds for no reason.

A good doctor will take time and get to know you and try to see the variation in your behavior over time. Besides all those quesntion tests they give us, that's the only way to figure out what's up.

Oh I got meds on visit one along with packing a suitcase to the hospital---but it was pretty obvious I was sick---I told the guy that I was mother nature among other things. And nobody fakes it for the antipsychotics.

Sometimes psychotic · Jun 13, 2013 at 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Otulissa

Im afraid if it isn't something actually 'wrong' and its just me somehow, that ill have to live with it.

Well the other option is therapy---you can deal with some pretty lousy stuff that way.

faerie_moon_x · Jun 13, 2013 at 03:29 PM

One thing I've learned is the more you obsess about it the worse it becomes. There are a lot of things that are very common and really only signify small things. Disossiation (the feeling of beign un-real,) is extremely common and is very common in anxiety, depression, bipolar, schizophrenia, and disossiative disorder, but also many other things.

Panicking will only make you feel like you're going crazy.

faerie_moon_x · Jun 13, 2013 at 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Oh I got meds on visit one along with packing a suitcase to the hospital---but it was pretty obvious I was sick---I told the guy that I was mother nature among other things. And nobody fakes it for the antipsychotics.

It amazes me because telling everyone the magical people were after me for five years got me nothing. It's just interesting how things go differently from one person to the next.

I've heard of people faking psychosis before. It's like anything.... there is that random group of people who think if it will get them attention, they'll do it... I think they are the crazy ones, you how do you medicate for that? LOL

Just load them up with sugar pills.

Sometimes psychotic · Jun 13, 2013 at 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dark_heart_x

It amazes me because telling everyone the magical people were after me for five years got me nothing. It's just interesting how things go differently from one person to the next.

I've heard of people faking psychosis before. It's like anything.... there is that random group of people who think if it will get them attention, they'll do it... I think they are the crazy ones, you how do you medicate for that? LOL

Just load them up with sugar pills.

Well my boss is an MD not a psych though and she went through the chief of medicine to get me a next day appointment with the head of inpatient care so I admit that strings were pulled for me. They kind of knew I was really sick going into the appointment. Plus the night before they had given me a head scan and run every drug test known to man. Cant' believe it took five years for you.

You're right I shouldn't say nobody but those fakers deserve the antipsychotics and all their lovely side effects.

Otulissa · Jun 13, 2013 at 03:44 PM

Well, im hoping meds can help me stop obsessing, its like I cant. Its stuck on my mind constantly and im constantly afraid.

Sometimes psychotic · Jun 13, 2013 at 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Otulissa

Well, im hoping meds can help me stop obsessing, its like I cant. Its stuck on my mind constantly and im constantly afraid.

The more you talk about this the more I'm thinking delusion----there are a few things it could be. Try not to worry just be as honest as possible with the pdoc and they will try to help you.

Otulissa · Jun 13, 2013 at 03:53 PM

If it was a delusion, can those be helped too?

Sometimes psychotic · Jun 13, 2013 at 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Otulissa

If it was a delusion, can those be helped too?

Yes---the antipsychotics will work for some people's delusions----we've all had varying results with meds on this forum so other people might tell you differently. Delusions are really hard to tell from reality and just thinking through it doesn't seem to help. It might take a while for the meds to kick in so don't give up. You'll be OK.

newtus · Jun 13, 2013 at 04:04 PM

antipsychotics never helped my paranoia and past delusions.

faerie_moon_x · Jun 13, 2013 at 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Well my boss is an MD not a psych though and she went through the chief of medicine to get me a next day appointment with the head of inpatient care so I admit that strings were pulled for me. They kind of knew I was really sick going into the appointment. Plus the night before they had given me a head scan and run every drug test known to man. Cant' believe it took five years for you.

You're right I shouldn't say nobody but those fakers deserve the antipsychotics and all their lovely side effects.

Oh, the delusion went away after 5 years. I didn't get into any treatment for another 2-3 years after it stopped (I can't say exactly when it stopped since I don't remember that.) And I was in treatment (saw pdoc 1 time, psychologist 3 times,) for less than 3 months. Was on Lamictle 2 weeks had a bad reaction, refused Risperidol because my mother-in-law had been on it and my husband didn't think it was safe. Went on Lithium instead, was on it for about a month, forgot to take it for almost 6 months. Was on it for a month, forgot to take it for 4 months. Was on it for a month, stopped taking it on purpose. That was 2009-2010 (Spring.) Then was on Lithium for 1 month again last November, but started forgetting to take it again and gave up.

Also, in 2006 I was Abilify for 2 weeks, but I had 0 diagnosis at that time. That's the extent of my treatment.

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Anonymous33445 Guest Posts: n/a	Jun 13, 2013 at 01:20 AM #3 I think it reminds me a bit like you have dissociation. It's what i had out of the blue a few days ago. like your watching a movie type thing? If not, my brother had this. I think its normal I can't really tell.
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newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 14 867 hugs given	Jun 13, 2013 at 10:45 AM #4 dissociation definitely isnt normal if its ongoing. i have it often. but it happens a lot. __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII
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faerie_moon_x Elder Member Since Nov 2011 Location: I live in my head. :P Posts: 6,358 12 3,670 hugs given	Jun 13, 2013 at 11:00 AM #5 I also have disossication quite a bit. Almost every day at least 1 time but often more. I hate it when it happens, because it just makes me feel off balance. I say track your thoughts/feelings on it so you can show the pdoc. __________________
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Otulissa Member Member Since Jun 2013 Posts: 50 11	Jun 13, 2013 at 02:13 PM #6 I cant take these thoughts forever, they're tearing me up! My parents, I love them so much, but they feel like strangers now when I question if they are real. Why wont this go away...im so afraid the pdoc wont be able to do anything, and I cant take it much longer.
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Otulissa Member Member Since Jun 2013 Posts: 50 11	Jun 13, 2013 at 02:41 PM #9 Im afraid if it isn't something actually 'wrong' and its just me somehow, that ill have to live with it.
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Otulissa Member Member Since Jun 2013 Posts: 50 11	Jun 13, 2013 at 03:44 PM #15 Well, im hoping meds can help me stop obsessing, its like I cant. Its stuck on my mind constantly and im constantly afraid.
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Otulissa Member Member Since Jun 2013 Posts: 50 11	Jun 13, 2013 at 03:53 PM #17 If it was a delusion, can those be helped too?
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newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 14 867 hugs given	Jun 13, 2013 at 04:04 PM #19 antipsychotics never helped my paranoia and past delusions. __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII
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