[Hunter20]

My husband and I met in Afghanistan in 2011. He is from Macedonia and I am from the U.S. We dated for over a year and were married in December 2012. He is very intelligent, loving, kind, shy but there is this other side of him that is just a nightmare! He has always been untrusting of most people, very stubborn and always right, but then I started to see something a little more serious. Immediately after he came to the US to live with me, I noticed that he was having trouble adjusting. It was expected as he has never been to the US. His ability to not trust people or make friends easily, I associated with him being from a former communist country.
After the first month, he started telling me things like people were breaking into the house, moving his personal items around, stealing his clothes, etc. The more I tried to convince him that he just misplaced things (they would always show up) or that he just had forgotten, he would get angry at me for not believing him. Next, he started to accuse my 21 year old daughter of trying to sabotage him. He stated, only to me, that she had put something in his shower gel, bedding and clothes to make him itch and break out into rashes. He swore her posts on social networking had “double meaning” and were about him. He blamed her for wrong phone numbers, spam emails and a computer virus he obtained. I realized that something was really wrong the morning I woke up and he was re-washing all his clothes and locking them in his closet. He hadn’t slept all night and was completely distraught. Almost to the point of tears. He was talking so fast I couldn’t even understand him. He honestly believed she was trying to hurt him. My daughter, by the way, was totally oblivious to the situation. She has never been anything but friendly and nice to him, but for some reason he thinks otherwise.
I researched and thought he might have Paranoid Personality Disorder or Schizophrenia. I tried to speak to him about it and about going to therapy but he became angry, told me he “knew he couldn’t trust me” and asked to go back to his country. The next day, he apologized and said he would go to therapy…but changed his mind 2 more times after. He stated that he had “too much pride”. Life after that became hell for me. I finally took a job back in Afghanistan and left. This is where I am now.
For three months, he was alone and studying and, from what I could tell from our phone calls and emails, he seemed to be doing ok. But then, out of nowhere he started insisting that people were following him, on his job, at the gas stations, the gym, and the grocery store. People were knocking on our back door at night. People were threatening him. They knew his name and personal information. They were taking notes and pictures of him. Secret cameras were set up in our house. When he went for a weekend visit across country to visit his son, he insisted the TSA agents were asking him about his ex-wife’s new husband (who he thinks is a terrorist) and that random people were calling him by name. He was actually quite scared.
Once again, I tried to reason with him and he got furious. That’s when he insists that I was “in with them”. I told him that he would either go to therapy or I wanted a divorce because I couldn’t not live with him the way he is. The next day, he drove my vehicle to the airport, locked the keys in it and flew to a location only he knew. He stated that I told him to leave, which was not true. I actually told him the opposite. After two days, he finally told me that he was staying with some “friends of a friend” but that he was being followed there also. He stated that cameras were in their house too and he had proof of everything. He would not however share this “proof” with me. As of today, it has been one week since he left. He has told me that this was a set up from Macedonia. The “US terrorism people” are working with them to keep him from getting his green card. Police are following him everywhere. He sees the same people, same cars, etc. He feels his life is being threatened and there will be “a national incident” if anything happens to him.
It is obvious he needs medical help but how do I get him to go without a court order? Based on his symptoms, what is his probable diagnosis? Is it treatable? Do I have any chance of helping him? I don’t think I will get much support from his family as they have no reason to not believe him and they are not seeing what I am seeing. I have most of it in written emails and texts. I notice it is worse when he is under stress. I am CERTAIN he doesn’t not take drugs or abuse alcohol. He is a personal trainer and his health is the most important thing to him. He has never touched either. I can’t even get him to take an aspirin.
He is not violent; however he is a large strong man. I know he believes everything he is hearing and seeing. I am afraid he is going to misconstrue someone’s innocent actions, believe he is being threatened and physically harm them. I am afraid it could even happen to me.
I have no experience with mental disorders so any advice you can give would be helpful.
Thank you!

I'm very sorry to hear that you are going through this with your husband. It sounds like it could be many different things. Since I am not a doctor I will not try to diagnose him. I suggest you do your best to try to get him to see a doctor. It sounds like he needs some serious help. I'm glad you found PC because you will find lots of support in information in these forums. Hang in there.

Hi and welcome to Psych Central, Your husband sounds like he is in need of some serious help, Of cause I am no doctor but I do have a brother who has schizophrenia and my brother was the same, Here in the UK things are different we would just call a mental health provider and get your husband assessed and probably admitted to hospital for treatment.

I hope that your husband gets the help that he needs. Good luck

He is suffering from paranoia and he really needs to get to a doctor. Your concerns are valid. The more this goes untreated, its inevitably going to cause problems. A big issue in these kinds of states is that the person suffering them does not know that they are unwell , they tend to believe that the reality they are presented with is wrong. This means people , the environment , etc are behaving in unusual manners , they don't usually pause and think that the mind itself is the cause. Good luck.

[Dylanzmama]

Sounds like a lot of the stuff I had going on when I was psychotic/manic. Get him help ASAP. Sometimes if you call the police, tell them the situation and ask them to do a "welfare check" they can help. It's a messed up situation, I'm sorry you have to go through this...