I keep reading (e.g. Antipsychotics and Brain Shrinkage: An Update | Mad In America) that APs are causing shrinkage of grey matter in the brain, and it's freaking me out!

Pdoc tells me that my meds do not cause brain damage or the cognitive difficulties I experience, and that my belief that my brain is rotting is a delusion. I want to believe him. He seems like a good guy. Yet I then read AGAIN about APs causing brain shrinkage and I'm torn yet again.

My knee-jerk reaction is to stop my meds and get this poison out of my bloodstream ASAP. However I worry that the aftermath won't be pretty, both in terms of depression and voices. Is that because, on some level, I've bought into the psychiatry BS that I need these meds? Is it just withdrawal effects that will improve? Or can I not manage without them for some reason??

I don't understand why I can't have any therapy on the NHS and why these chemicals are the only treatment available? I've been wanting to get off meds for months now, but I'm scared of having no support or treatment whatsoever, and so I keep passively swallowing them every night before bed through fear.

I'm really upset about this, and about the possibility that my pdoc may be lying to me. Last time I stopped meds under his care without his permission, he got mad at me and insisted I had to take them. I'm not studying medicine anymore so there are no fitness to practise issues now, but I'm a people pleaser and scared to make him mad again.

My appt is not for another 5 weeks and I don't think I can keep passively swallowing these tablets anymore. I'm really upset and freaked out. My brain and intelligence is important to me - I've always been academic and I'm currently trying to study for a Masters degree - the cognitive difficulties I experience make this very difficult.

I don't know what to do. I know quitting cold turkey isn't a good idea, but I don't have the tablets to taper off properly. Pdoc won't see me early, and likely won't support me stopping meds. My parents are very pro-med too. And if I did stop my meds, then I would have no need of a pdoc, and my only treatment/support would be taken away.

I know you can't tell me what to do, and I'm sorry that this is so long, but does anyone have any insight?? I'm really freaked out and divided over this

*Willow*

[newtus]

i think ive seen two studies that show that it does.

There is no doubt that all medications have serious side effects and consequences especially over the long haul.

I am no longer on medications of any kind, but back when I was, I resisted them mightily.

Needless to say, I certainly needed them at that time. I was on them for 16 years.

A friend put it to me this way ... Would you rather have a shorter life of better quality or a long life of poor quality.

Of course, I'd rather have had the best of both worlds, but since that wasn't in the picture at the time, I opted for a shorter life of better quality - if it came down to it.

It simply comes down to choices and sometimes those choices are neither fair nor easy.

I'd be totally too.

I hope you and your doctor are able to find some sort of solution that alleviates your concerns while maintaining your balance.



ps. I'd let my doctor know that I don't appreciate him blowing smoke up my @$$. That used to piss me off to no end. Their denial of the bad side effects and stuff their medications cause. I finally called them on it. I told them the only difference between them and a street dealer is that their stuff had the blessings of the FDA. It didn't make them too happy, but at least after that they realized I wasn't just some stupid uninformed simpleton they could poo-poo into submission, and they started answering me honestly (as they could) about the downside of their stuff.

[Trippin2.0]

My aunt suffered brain atrophy from longterm use of AP's... Her dr's and pdoc was convinced she was on drugs, bcoz that apparantly does cause brain shrinkage but not their meds.

She still picks up her prescription every month, so that she can see her T and check in with pdoc, but she flushes her meds bcoz the pdoc's an obvious douchetard.

I value my intelligence too and the cognitive decline was way too much for me to bare, more than my dx. So I really do sympathize, even if we don't share a dx,
I hope you find a good solution soon

[Sometimes psychotic]

Originally Posted by WeepingWillow23

I keep reading (e.g. Antipsychotics and Brain Shrinkage: An Update | Mad In America) that APs are causing shrinkage of grey matter in the brain, and it's freaking me out!

Pdoc tells me that my meds do not cause brain damage or the cognitive difficulties I experience, and that my belief that my brain is rotting is a delusion. I want to believe him. He seems like a good guy. Yet I then read AGAIN about APs causing brain shrinkage and I'm torn yet again.

My knee-jerk reaction is to stop my meds and get this poison out of my bloodstream ASAP. However I worry that the aftermath won't be pretty, both in terms of depression and voices. Is that because, on some level, I've bought into the psychiatry BS that I need these meds? Is it just withdrawal effects that will improve? Or can I not manage without them for some reason??

I don't understand why I can't have any therapy on the NHS and why these chemicals are the only treatment available? I've been wanting to get off meds for months now, but I'm scared of having no support or treatment whatsoever, and so I keep passively swallowing them every night before bed through fear.

I'm really upset about this, and about the possibility that my pdoc may be lying to me. Last time I stopped meds under his care without his permission, he got mad at me and insisted I had to take them. I'm not studying medicine anymore so there are no fitness to practise issues now, but I'm a people pleaser and scared to make him mad again.

My appt is not for another 5 weeks and I don't think I can keep passively swallowing these tablets anymore. I'm really upset and freaked out. My brain and intelligence is important to me - I've always been academic and I'm currently trying to study for a Masters degree - the cognitive difficulties I experience make this very difficult.

I don't know what to do. I know quitting cold turkey isn't a good idea, but I don't have the tablets to taper off properly. Pdoc won't see me early, and likely won't support me stopping meds. My parents are very pro-med too. And if I did stop my meds, then I would have no need of a pdoc, and my only treatment/support would be taken away.

I know you can't tell me what to do, and I'm sorry that this is so long, but does anyone have any insight?? I'm really freaked out and divided over this

*Willow*

OK I too value my brain and am happy to be in the process of getting off the meds. I will say this though I've stayed on them for two years and I haven't noticed any worse functioning than when I began so if they do cause brain shrinkage then at least its not noticeable. The current advice is to stay on them for 6 months to stabilize and then get off them, this is based on the wunderink study....you will relapse more in the short term but you will be more functional in the long term. I'm not sure how long you've been on them. If you do go off you need a pill cutter to lower your dose gradually or you will relapse immediately. This is because simply taking the meds will increase the dopamine receptors in your brain and when you remove the drug you will have too many functioning receptors which will make you prone to psychosis.

On the flip side plenty of smart people have spent years on meds, Elyn Sacks was on particularly high doses of meds and she is incredible and still on them. This woman I'm reading about now was on the meds 10 years then went back to school to become a psychologist, she is now off the meds. So the results in individual humans are not entirely clear. There is a place for the meds if you can't function without them.

[newtus]

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

OK I too value my brain and am happy to be in the process of getting off the meds. I will say this though I've stayed on them for two years and I haven't noticed any worse functioning than when I began so if they do cause brain shrinkage then at least its not noticeable. The current advice is to stay on them for 6 months to stabilize and then get off them, this is based on the wunderink study....you will relapse more in the short term but you will be more functional in the long term. I'm not sure how long you've been on them. If you do go off you need a pill cutter to lower your dose gradually or you will relapse immediately. This is because simply taking the meds will increase the dopamine receptors in your brain and when you remove the drug you will have too many functioning receptors which will make you prone to psychosis.

On the flip side plenty of smart people have spent years on meds, Elyn Sacks was on particularly high doses of meds and she is incredible and still on them. This woman I'm reading about now was on the meds 10 years then went back to school to become a psychologist, she is now off the meds. So the results in individual humans are not entirely clear. There is a place for the meds if you can't function without them.

i honestly think your lucky.

idk the real statistics. some people notice a lot. some notice very little side effects. i would think most notice a lot.

becuz no matter what AP i took i ALWAYS slept hours upon hours for months and ALWAYS gained wait fast and A LOT. the past year that i have been on/off them when i go in the hospital - i have to get off when i leave because ill started putting on 10 pounds in the first week or week and a half im on them. just like everytime ive been on this crap. THATS not good by ANY standard. that shouldnt even be. maybe im being inpatient buti dont want to wait 5-6 months to adjust to that crap. ALL the while gaining weight even though im sleeping more than i eat... you no? theres only been maybe a couple or few that i didnt sleep much or gain little to no weight but they didnt help the symptoms either. and even ABOVE ALL THAT - APs rarely take away the paranoia or cognitive stuff and make negative worse. so what? im ruining my physical health and wasting my life to basically not hear just voices? and then after that add on more symptoms?

wheres the trade off? whats being helped?
theres no fair trade off - im giving up way more than what im being given. im giving up things that sometimes werent even problems to begin with.
the help? theres barely any. it barely touches a thing. just voices actually. to be a slight exaggerating. becuz it barely touches the paranoia. and makes EVERYTHING ELSE worse.

[Sometimes psychotic]

Originally Posted by newtus

i honestly think your lucky.

idk the real statistics. some people notice a lot. some notice very little side effects. i would think most notice a lot.

becuz no matter what AP i took i ALWAYS slept hours upon hours for months and ALWAYS gained wait fast and A LOT. the past year that i have been on/off them when i go in the hospital - i have to get off when i leave because ill started putting on 10 pounds in the first week or week and a half im on them. just like everytime ive been on this crap. THATS not good by ANY standard. that shouldnt even be. maybe im being inpatient buti dont want to wait 5-6 months to adjust to that crap. ALL the while gaining weight even though im sleeping more than i eat... you no? theres only been maybe a couple or few that i didnt sleep much or gain little to no weight but they didnt help the symptoms either. and even ABOVE ALL THAT - APs rarely take away the paranoia or cognitive stuff and make negative worse. so what? im ruining my physical health and wasting my life to basically not hear just voices? and then after that add on more symptoms?

wheres the trade off? whats being helped?
theres no fair trade off - im giving up way more than what im being given. im giving up things that sometimes werent even problems to begin with.
the help? theres barely any. it barely touches a thing. just voices actually. to be a slight exaggerating. becuz it barely touches the paranoia. and makes EVERYTHING ELSE worse.

If they don't work at all then you shouldn't take them. For me I got one that didn't work for a couple days then because I had a bad reaction we switched to risperidone which cut the voices by 95%. I had constant voices they did not stop, would not let me sleep. When I tried to sleep they would announce the sleep waves, you know just as I was falling asleep they would yell out alpha wave or theta wave. I think its all a very personal decision, I couldn't take the hard road because I could not function without sleep. I was thankful for the meds. I know Willow is recently dxed so I'm not sure how long she's been on them---what I've been told by my pdoc who is pretty cutting edge is that you have to be stabilized for 6 months and then its possible to recover an not hear voices again that's why I'm leaving it as an option. Willow: you might want to talk to Mimi about this I know she was on the meds a long time and just recently got off in her own way.

[newtus]

it doesnt help enough to be honest.
but. idk where that leaves me anymore. thats why i gave up.
thats why i started questioning my coming even here anymore.

[faerie_moon_x]

Willow

Okay first, I don't think your pdoc is lying to you. I think that there's a good chance he doesn't know. Perhaps he isn't researching as well as he should. I think let's give him just a benefit of the doubt he needs to do some update on his education....

I don't know what advice to give. You shouldn't quit cold turkey for sure, that could be bad with withdrawls and things. At your school do you have access to counselors or anything like that? I think you should take a step to get a therapist or psychologist first, shop around for one who is pro-wellness and not pro-med.

[Sometimes psychotic]

Originally Posted by newtus

it doesnt help enough to be honest.
but. idk where that leaves me anymore. thats why i gave up.
thats why i started questioning my coming even here anymore.

I don't know where it leaves you either, you have to pick the lesser of two evils. I'm not sure how that relates to coming on here---everyone needs support whether on the meds or not. That's what this forum is about, filling a basic need for support and human interaction. I think its too soon for you to give up anyway and if you're thinking about giving up then you need to be on here more.

[newtus]

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

I don't know where it leaves you either, you have to pick the lesser of two evils.

exactly. and wow there is none. honestly? the "lesser" is only such a fraction less that it really makes no real or lasting difference. going w/o meds. its....its...ugh...well...obviously w/o going into detail the worst things thats happened off meds is police picking me up. oh no wait - me killing myself. but police is worst to me. um...on meds the voices are gone sometimes. but then i give up "living" kinda. i sleep and def risk my physical health. i was borderline diabetic on them - i could be back there and over the border next time. back problems from weight. tired. unmotivated. fatigued 24/7. disoriented. etc.

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

I'm not sure how that relates to coming on here---everyone needs support whether on the meds or not. That's what this forum is about, filling a basic need for support and human interaction. I think its too soon for you to give up anyway and if you're thinking about giving up then you need to be on here more.

thanks for the last part
i mean that sorta means a lot
ive been to 2-3 other forums where they told me if im not on meds then "why are you here?". so i left. ALL they talked about was meds and dissected symptoms and said which med would help.

i like THIS forum only. becuase yea we talk about that. but we also talk about LIFE. we talk about LIVING. we talk about LIVING LIFE.

ive been to maybe 4-5 schiz forums. they all are either pro pro pro med. or they are just dead - rarely posting.

[faerie_moon_x]

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

I'm not sure how that relates to coming on here---everyone needs support whether on the meds or not. That's what this forum is about, filling a basic need for support and human interaction. I think its too soon for you to give up anyway and if you're thinking about giving up then you need to be on here more.

^^ this right here, I'm totally in agreement with. Maybe we don't always know what to so but at least we can listen and sympathize. And, at least everyone can use their voice and speak their mind. I've found this is the most supportive forum on PC really, at least for me, which is why I'm here so much. Honestly.

I don't have a real world healthcare help either. I have no T, no pdoc, no answers. But, I have the forum and it's much better than when I was doing this all alone with no one to bounce my thoughts off of in the MI area.

As for meds and stuff, I know that was not good for you. I think a really, really good psychologist who is into alternative treatment might be what you need. But, where you live that's probably really hard to find.
Maybe things like accupuncture, diet, vitamins/minerals... I don't know... but not APs and not traditional psychology training that has let you down.

Thanks for the responses guys

Originally Posted by Pfrog

A friend put it to me this way ... Would you rather have a shorter life of better quality or a long life of poor quality.

Of course, I'd rather have had the best of both worlds, but since that wasn't in the picture at the time, I opted for a shorter life of better quality - if it came down to it.

It simply comes down to choices and sometimes those choices are neither fair nor easy.

Thank you for your reply Pfrog The thing is that it's not as simple as a "shorter life of better quality vs a long life of poor quality" because APs only have a mediocre effect for me, and so far nothing has ever touched my depression. So it's more like a short life of crap quality vs a longer life of slightly more crap quality, and then tbh there's not much in it... Also I don't feel empowered to make a choice when I only have access to a pdoc and no T. No meds = no pdoc = no treatment whatsoever.

Originally Posted by Pfrog

ps. I'd let my doctor know that I don't appreciate him blowing smoke up my @$$. That used to piss me off to no end. Their denial of the bad side effects and stuff their medications cause. I finally called them on it. I told them the only difference between them and a street dealer is that their stuff had the blessings of the FDA. It didn't make them too happy, but at least after that they realized I wasn't just some stupid uninformed simpleton they could poo-poo into submission, and they started answering me honestly (as they could) about the downside of their stuff.

Yeah I think I'm going to have to take my research in and see him try and explain it away. Maybe he's in denial? Maybe he's worried I'll stop my meds and get worse?? Either way, I deserve the truth!

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

My aunt suffered brain atrophy from longterm use of AP's... Her dr's and pdoc was convinced she was on drugs, bcoz that apparantly does cause brain shrinkage but not their meds.

She still picks up her prescription every month, so that she can see her T and check in with pdoc, but she flushes her meds bcoz the pdoc's an obvious douchetard.

I value my intelligence too and the cognitive decline was way too much for me to bare, more than my dx. So I really do sympathize, even if we don't share a dx,
I hope you find a good solution soon

Thanks Trippin! I really wish I could get a T so that I could go off meds and still be supported. I also think that I would be more likely to be successful off meds if I can deal with the underlying cause/s of my issues. As it stands, I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

OK I too value my brain and am happy to be in the process of getting off the meds. I will say this though I've stayed on them for two years and I haven't noticed any worse functioning than when I began so if they do cause brain shrinkage then at least its not noticeable. The current advice is to stay on them for 6 months to stabilize and then get off them, this is based on the wunderink study....you will relapse more in the short term but you will be more functional in the long term. I'm not sure how long you've been on them. If you do go off you need a pill cutter to lower your dose gradually or you will relapse immediately. This is because simply taking the meds will increase the dopamine receptors in your brain and when you remove the drug you will have too many functioning receptors which will make you prone to psychosis.

On the flip side plenty of smart people have spent years on meds, Elyn Sacks was on particularly high doses of meds and she is incredible and still on them. This woman I'm reading about now was on the meds 10 years then went back to school to become a psychologist, she is now off the meds. So the results in individual humans are not entirely clear. There is a place for the meds if you can't function without them.

My knee-jerk response is to get off them ASAP, but I know that's not the smart way to do it. I've been on/off meds for 6 years, APs for 4 years, and never been "stable". I honestly don't know if I function better on meds or off them as neither is good, though with meds I have support from a pdoc and very occasionally in the past a CPN. Without meds, I'm completely on my own.

Originally Posted by newtus

i honestly think your lucky.

idk the real statistics. some people notice a lot. some notice very little side effects. i would think most notice a lot.

becuz no matter what AP i took i ALWAYS slept hours upon hours for months and ALWAYS gained wait fast and A LOT. the past year that i have been on/off them when i go in the hospital - i have to get off when i leave because ill started putting on 10 pounds in the first week or week and a half im on them. just like everytime ive been on this crap. THATS not good by ANY standard. that shouldnt even be. maybe im being inpatient buti dont want to wait 5-6 months to adjust to that crap. ALL the while gaining weight even though im sleeping more than i eat... you no? theres only been maybe a couple or few that i didnt sleep much or gain little to no weight but they didnt help the symptoms either. and even ABOVE ALL THAT - APs rarely take away the paranoia or cognitive stuff and make negative worse. so what? im ruining my physical health and wasting my life to basically not hear just voices? and then after that add on more symptoms?

wheres the trade off? whats being helped?
theres no fair trade off - im giving up way more than what im being given. im giving up things that sometimes werent even problems to begin with.
the help? theres barely any. it barely touches a thing. just voices actually. to be a slight exaggerating. becuz it barely touches the paranoia. and makes EVERYTHING ELSE worse.

Thanks Newtus Yeah Abilify/aripiprazole helps the voices, which is the only one that works for me, but nothing touches the paranoia or so-called "delusions". Nothing touches the depression and lack of motivation, and according to pdoc it's the depression which causes my cognitive issues. I've gained 2 stone and am officially overweight so at increased risk of all sorts of health issues, including T2 diabetes which the meds increase the risk for anyway. I sleep too much. I have no energy or motivation to exercise or socialise.

I feel like I need off these meds and I need some therapy. I have to push for this (not just keep asking pdoc). If pdoc is not going to contact the early intervention team, then I have to do it and find out what they offer. If they offer therapy and they'll take me, then hopefully I can work to get off the meds...

As to what I do tonight, I guess I have no choice but to swallow the bloody pills

*Willow*

Sorry it's taking me so long to write replies to everyone...

Originally Posted by faerie_moon_x

Willow

Okay first, I don't think your pdoc is lying to you. I think that there's a good chance he doesn't know. Perhaps he isn't researching as well as he should. I think let's give him just a benefit of the doubt he needs to do some update on his education....

I don't know what advice to give. You shouldn't quit cold turkey for sure, that could be bad with withdrawls and things. At your school do you have access to counselors or anything like that? I think you should take a step to get a therapist or psychologist first, shop around for one who is pro-wellness and not pro-med.

Thanks Faerie_moon He's so smart and well researched when we talk in general about psychiatry, that I don't see how he can't know about these studies. But you're right, I should give him the benefit of the doubt and take this research in for him to see.

Unfortunately Uni only offers 6 counselling sessions max for students, so it won't help me: I need a proper T. (See above about the early intervention team)

Originally Posted by newtus

it doesnt help enough to be honest.
but. idk where that leaves me anymore. thats why i gave up.
thats why i started questioning my coming even here anymore.

I definitely agree that you are always welcome here Newtus, whether on meds or not. In fact I've really appreciated the med-alternative conversations we have here, and just the general social chats too.

*Willow*

[faerie_moon_x]

No worries, Willow. I have the similar reading problems so I know it takes a while.

You should take the research into your doc. I mean, just so he sees what you're talking about and not saying it's a delusion. That there is research. I don't think it's a delusion, I think it's a valid concern. If he's a good doctor he will listen.

[Atypical_Disaster]

Pdoc tells me that my meds do not cause brain damage or the cognitive difficulties I experience, and that my belief that my brain is rotting is a delusion. I want to believe him. He seems like a good guy. Yet I then read AGAIN about APs causing brain shrinkage and I'm torn yet again.

I don't believe you're delusional. I really don't.

[Sometimes psychotic]

Originally Posted by WeepingWillow23

My knee-jerk response is to get off them ASAP, but I know that's not the smart way to do it. I've been on/off meds for 6 years, APs for 4 years, and never been "stable". I honestly don't know if I function better on meds or off them as neither is good, though with meds I have support from a pdoc and very occasionally in the past a CPN. Without meds, I'm completely on my own.

*Willow*

Ok 4 years is long enough to know if they work for you. So if you want off taper. I know I have my abilify tapering thread on here but I can tell you that originally my pdoc just cut the dose in half... i had to go slower than that..honestly I think the results are different for everyone. If your doctor doesn't support your decision you're probably going to have to lie to him if you need more meds to finish the taper. Can you do that? I dont think i could. The studies I've read suggest that it takes at least two weeks for brain receptors to adjust to a higher dose so I'm assuming it takes that long when you lower the dose too although that study hasn't been done. Best of luck, keep us informed.

[mimi2112]

I did a lot of research from credible sources. I did not make my decision along with or under advice of a physician. I have found it rare to find a Dr. that agrees with going off psych meds . There are a few, such as Peter Breggin. He is a psychiatrist who has written much and I recommend him highly. I have a boat-load of info. that I already posted in my Mind Freedom thread. There are many resources for going off meds in a safe manner. I also have many links bookmarked that I am willing to share specifically if anyone asks me.

One thing that is paramount, is to have at least one person that you trust in real life, who is behind you 100% and that you can count on during this process. Ideally it's best to have a peer support system. I wouldn't recommend going off meds, without having a support system of some type. You may have periods of doubt while going through the process, and you need to be able to call on someone during these times to walk through the anxiety. You have to be willing to ride out the process of extreme emotions and altered states. You have to be absolutely committed to tapering gradually, which could take at least a month to 6 wks., possibly longer. After the final taper, you have to be willing to go through a "normalizing" process and a period where you may feel extreme emotional/altered states which may be very very uncomfortable.

I have been amazed at how this process has opened my eyes to the con of traditional psychiatry. I was taking some form or cocktail of psych meds for almost 27 years!! I expected to possibly have severe setbacks going off meds. I was told that I could expect an almost immediate psychotic episode if I went off meds. That's what they tell us, we'll really go nuts without meds. On the contrary, I have only felt more human. Keep in mind that I have only been clean 2 months.
I am on a schedule of supplements recommended by an orthomolecular physician. I avoid sugars in my diet, including complex carbs. I have a support system, and I am not seeing a practitioner in psychiatry. If I were to see a psychiatrist, it would be a waste of my energies trying to convince her, even if I were to bring recent research papers to back me up.

I once was told if I go to a surgeon, then I will get surgery. If I go to a gastrointestinal doctor, I will be examined for a stomach condition, if I see an acupuncturist, I'll be treated with acupuncture. So, if I see a psychiatrist then I'll be treated psychiatrically.

Psychiatry did not work for me. It caused me to believe a lie that I am defective.
I am not diseased or disordered. I am a human being that needs to be listened to and nurtured and loved.

[mimi2112]

Here's a link about going off meds in a safe manner.

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Ok 4 years is long enough to know if they work for you. So if you want off taper.

Sorry, I miscounted: it's actually only been 3 years on APs, not 4 but I can't seem to edit my post now. Still, plenty of time to know if they work or not, but I'm just not sure. I quit my AP & AD cold turkey in April 2011 and was off both for 9 months and was miserable. The withdrawal wasn't much of a problem and didn't last long, but the voices returned straight away and my paranoia intensified. With regards to the depression, it's hard to say because that intensifies in waves even with the meds.

IDK. It's late and I can't really think properly... I will come back to this thread when I'm settled in my Uni house in a few days - sorry! I do appreciate the responses though.

@Mimi: Thanks for the insight and resources. I will look them up in a few days time. One thing I do want to say though is that I don't have that one person to rely on to know/say how I'm doing and to support me off meds. My Mum is very pro-med and she lives several hours away when I'm at Uni anyway, so we only have phone conversations and I can usually hide how I'm really doing.

Anyway as I said, it's late and I need to get some sleep. For now I'm still taking my tablets because withdrawal and a long drive don't mix.

Thanks guys! I really appreciate the input

*Willow*

[Sometimes psychotic]

One thing to consider is getting into the early intervention program before you start coming off. They may be more open to the process. I thought that tapering off after 1-2 years was actually the norm for first episode psychosis in the UK. Plus you would have therapy. Just something to consider.

[anneo59]

Oh Willow, I can so relate! At sixty and on the stuff for years and years, off and on, not sure at all, of what will come, tho often feel effects. Cogentin, genetic benztropine has helped with EP stuff, but what about the other? Just don't know at this point, and it's of great concern. Know others who are either patients or docs wondering here. . . .

[anneo59]

awesome, Mimi. I, too, have been on, sometimes off, but mostly on, tons of stuff for years! But I have always believed in many other tools. Any comments you can offer about supplements, or references, by any chance. Thanx much!

[anneo59]

appreciate that very much!

[mimi2112]

Originally Posted by WeepingWillow23

Sorry, I miscounted: it's actually only been 3 years on APs, not 4 but I can't seem to edit my post now. Still, plenty of time to know if they work or not, but I'm just not sure. I quit my AP & AD cold turkey in April 2011 and was off both for 9 months and was miserable. The withdrawal wasn't much of a problem and didn't last long, but the voices returned straight away and my paranoia intensified. With regards to the depression, it's hard to say because that intensifies in waves even with the meds.

IDK. It's late and I can't really think properly... I will come back to this thread when I'm settled in my Uni house in a few days - sorry! I do appreciate the responses though.

@Mimi: Thanks for the insight and resources. I will look them up in a few days time. One thing I do want to say though is that I don't have that one person to rely on to know/say how I'm doing and to support me off meds. My Mum is very pro-med and she lives several hours away when I'm at Uni anyway, so we only have phone conversations and I can usually hide how I'm really doing.

Anyway as I said, it's late and I need to get some sleep. For now I'm still taking my tablets because withdrawal and a long drive don't mix.

Thanks guys! I really appreciate the input

*Willow*

Willow, I understand completely. Will Hall speaks of what you are saying here. In the link to the video which I posted above, Will Hall talks about how a person really has to have people backing them up in the decision process to go off meds. Willow, I believe that you are striving to attain that type of support. These are very big decisions to make, and you have to be in a stable stress- reduced situation in your life in the first place. I posted the above specifically for you and as a precaution, since I know your situation. I absolutely would never recommend any one go off their meds without fully being educated around it. And,I do not judge those who take meds. Most info. I have found explicitly warns that going off cold turkey can cause more damage than good. Also the warning applies to going off without any type of support system.

I share my story and experience only as an example of hope. I am only 2 months into the process, so it really is an experiment.

Hugs to you Willow. I admire your tenacity in going to Uni.

Thank you to everyone here for not opposing me or debating with me or judging me. Other forums for sure would not be as gentle.