[Aloneinside]

Hi,

I got dianogised with psychosis about 2 years ago and a lot has changed since then. I still feel now I didn't get the support I needed correctly but at the same time I'm writing this now sane (as some would put it) I've for as far as can remember had a voice to talk to all my life always leaning over my shoulder arguing any points I made or directing me in a direction. I can't remember most of my life so far up until I started my meds. Just really bad hazy memories that sometimes I'm told arnt true. Since on the meds I've moved in and out of living with another person who is now an ex due to the way I got bored. Since January I have been on my own and noticed that I'm very secluded from social life I have maybe one or two people I talk to and that's it. A couple of months ago a lot of things happened in a few weeks and since then been having trouble living a life. I got my own place and new job all in a few days of each other. Don't get me wrong I'm happy I've done this with out help (other voice) but now a few months down the line I feel alone nearly empty inside and can't explain it and nothing I do will change it. It's permently to quiet so I have to have bal ground noise no matter what. I guess I just wanted to know if anyone else has these feelings and wanting to get what they've known all there live back?

Thank you for taking the time to read this

[Sometimes psychotic]

It's actually really hard to lose the voices if they are pleasant, its like losing a friend. The key is to replace them with real people and interactions...this can be especially hard for someone recovering from psychosis. I find that having input like the radio on all the time helps fill the void too.

[faerie_moon_x]

When I feel like it's too lonely I play the t.v. If it's too quiet that's what I do, but I try to keep it to comedies because they are happy and light and not dramatic or full of emotional things that will bring me down.

I have Other Me that I talk to all the time. I can only imagine how weird it would be if she were suddenly gone. I hope you start to feel better soon and less lonely.

[Aloneinside]

Thank you for the replies but I don't know it just seems weird not having a voice therr it wasnt a very pleasant voice but it's just like you say an empty void. As for social interaction I don't seem to enjoy that anymore every time I get invited out unless its like the cinema or something where I don't have to talk to people I find myself making excuses to opt out. I work as a field sales so I'm dealing with different people every Monday to Friday but when It comes to the weekend I lock myself away and regret it afterwards

While I've never had any pleasant voices, I still feel weird (miss isn't the right word, but almost) when my voices go. I agree with Sometimes, that it's about replacing the voices with social interaction IRL. I know that that's very scary after such a long time, but it is do-able if you are persistent. Last year I made 4 good friends by starting a course I was interested in, and hopefully I'll make a few more on this year's course.

All the best

*Willow*

[Aloneinside]

Thank you for the reply Willow. And I know what you mean I keep trying to push myself but then the anxiety kicks in and I'm back to square one I'm not going to back down from this because before the meds and in my teens I had a great social life out every night and then 2 years ago became a sercluse I guess. And all the best to you on your course this year
S

[Gr3tta]

Hi Aloneinside. Even though my voices aren't always pleasant, I would be crushingly lonely without them. I can imagine how you might be feeling. I just wanted to say that if you don't want to be social - you're not obligated! Also many people are more social during their teen yyears, and gradually taper off some as they get older. I think that's normal. However, if you want to be more social, then I agree with willow that you might have more success in joining a group - such as a university class, exercise group, gardening club, book club, etc. Having a planned activity helps take some of the presssure off, plus you will meet people you already have something in common with.

[Aloneinside]

Up till 6 months ago I never really had time to miss them or notice the quiet but living on your own again certainly makes it stand out. And tbh the socialising bit I'm not sure where I stand at the moment. I have to socialise for a living as I'm a rep for a company that deals with many other companies. Sometimes I enjoy and then other times I absolutely hate it just depends on my mood I guess. Bit thank you so far for all your support and ideas I didn't think I would get replies this quickly
S

[Aloneinside]

I don't know who else to tell but this seems the right place to let what's been happening out. For the last couple of weeks my memory has for some reason just turned on like a tap and the feelings of it is so over welming I'm having trouble dealing with it. Since this has been happening I'm now crying myself to sleep every night with out knowing the reasons behind it. My mood changes so much in one day I couldn't tell anyone there and then how I'm feeling. Because of all of this I've asked my gp for a referral for counciling I just hope it helps this time. It has done before but I just don't know where my mind is right now so fingers crossed.

S

Aloneinside

I hope that you get to see a T quickly and that it helps Aloneinside

*Willow*

[wushuduck]

Hey, sorry to hear you're feeling this way, Aloneinside. I don't know if this'll help for you, or even if it's your kind of thing, but you're British so it could be your kind of humour, but when I'm feeling anxious/depressed/paranoid, I listen to, of all things, The Ricky Gervais Show! The radio and podcast versions are so great, and the TV Show with its' hilarious animations. I find listening to Karl blabbering on almost... therapeutic. I started out with the TV Show, and ended up torrenting the podcast and radio shows, and they really help! well, that and the Diazepam