[msboise]

My husband and I have been married since Aug 18th, together almost 2 years. Im 35, 3 kids 14,11,9 from 1st marriage of 10 years divorced 6 years now, full time student 1st time since high school, and my hubby is 28, never been married, no kids, currently getting his Masters in Psychology, absolutely amazing, drop dead sexy, and has been diagnosed with paranoia w/ Schizoaffective Disorder since he was 17. He has been trying so hard.. I see it.. We are madly in love, crazy about each other, and don't fight yell or call names. However, lol, it's always been a given about once a month he'd say he couldnt handle the stress anymore, and leave for 2-3 days and come back after his head calmed down. Pretty used to it.. But, recently we found out my 14 year old is BPD, and that along with being newly married, school, the whole combining finances bills and life crap, his paranoia has gone out the ROOF!!! His zyprexa made him so tired he started falling behind in school, and I made the mistake of thinking I was helping and gave him an adderoll to get stuff done. I have MS and ADHD since I was a kid.. He was a meth addict for 2 years at 17 and went NUTS, and still is affected by past memories from it.. I opened Pandoras box... Im used to constantly reassuring him, access to everything, im not recording him, lol, and let him turn our house into a fortress with deadbolts, locks, security lights, alarms on everything, etc.. lol If it makes him feel better I dont care.. He is so miserable, angry at himself, but its ALWAYS my fault, I dont care or love him, im lying about something bn sneaky, and dont respect him or care about our marraige, am an addict, all because my dr said she didnt want to take me off the Addy and even called him to ease his mind.. He always just takes a zyprexa and a klonapin, and goes to sleep when he gets like that, and wakes up like Gary Poppins all skippy and happy mr morning bird. One minute I can get a safe to put them in, than its no. So I have them out of the house at my moms, but yesterday he completely outta the blue said his parents paid for an attorney and is divorcing me because he doesnt want to die. He was crying, SOOO upset, saying it broke his heart because hes so in love with me but because he wants my med, he wants a divorce annnd left to his parents. My doctor knows about his past, but said how would he feel if I had a downer problem, and told him he couldnt take his meds anymore because it tempted me too much and wanted him to just have anxiety and paranoia.He said he knows, hes sorry, but thats the way its gotta be.He has a HUGE problem with knowing the value of money and paying bills, being responsible for others than himself, used to buying whatever toys or things he wants, raised extremely privileged, and money wasnt an object so hes been trying to adjust to not getting to buy everything he wants... Its been ROUGH on him.. His parents kinda cut him off because we got married and eloped.. Before he would gamble when he got stressed, and has a few times about 300 each time. Wife was NOT happy... What do I do here... Is this one like his normal freak out or should I worry hed rather have life be easy and be taken care of this time... The emotional back and forth is breaking me down, feeling abandoned, and feel like im being blamed for everything thats wrong with him. HELP!!!!

[faerie_moon_x]

Okay so your post was a bit confusing.

What I'm seeing is he has schizoaffective and has a history of drug abuse. You gave him an adderal to help him focus, but it's triggered the addiction. So now he wants your meds but because you can't go off of them he wants a divorce? Is that right?

This is a pretty tangled situation. I'm not sure what to do. I would say that you should tell him you don't want a divorce and not to do anything but take some time to calm down. Otherwise, I'm not sure what to do. If his addiction is so bad that even a safe woudln't keep him away from your meds, you need to discuss this seriously with your doctor and see if there anything that can be done. You must consider his wellbeing as well, and exactly how much this relationship means to you vs. how sever your ADHD is and what would be worse, perhaps.

It's a tough situation.

[msboise]

Thank you so much for replying back! You're my 1st response...

Ok. He would ask me for my Adderoll when he would be tired or behind with school, if I said no because I knew it wigged him out, he'd reassure me it was because of something else, and look at me with those giant blue eyes, and id fall for it and do it. He doesn't WANT to take my meds because he knows what they do to him with the after affects, and wants them completely out of the house, gone. Its not an issue of him getting into the safe, its a matter of he knows they are still here, knows hed have energy and begins craving them and it makes him mad at the control they have in his head. Outta sight outta mind usually works with stuff, but for him he still knows there's access to them. Hes to weak to resist, I'm too weak to say no to that little face!
So, hes still gone at his parents, we have marriage counseling on Monday, and says its still up in the air whats going to happen even though were both crazy in love the with each other. He still calls me all the time and this morning I woke up to him hugging me with his head on my chest, but he won't come home yet until he knows things have changed or something. Plus hes getting all of his past homework done so he doesn't fail. He was like 3 weeks behind. But, he hasn't told his parents that he doesn't want a divorce yet, because they were going to pay for the atty for him, and doesn't want to upset or disappoint them. See back in July, his paranoia went CRAZY bad, and he left me, told his parents and a bunch of other people all of this insane stuff about me, and they believed him. Even though he was losing it, he can be VERY convincing and sane sounding.. He went there upset and said allll this stuff about me, so from July 13th to August 8th, we were split up. July 28th he had moved up to Wa to get away, I didnt know he came home 3 days later, and admitted himself into psych hospital for 4 days. Aug 8th he got out, and he hadn't told his family where he was "hanging out", my house, and ended up eloping on the 18th. His family was SO mad at him. They completely cut him off financially, and his mom went CRAZY insane. He tried to tell them it was his paranoia and it wasn't true, but she didn't want to believe it. Apparently I stole her baby and crying said her son was living out there "desolate". lol They live in a 450,000 home, drive 80,000 cars, and like I said, he was EXTREMELY privileged. So stupid.... His mom was the only person who was being that way... Broke his heart..
Just as she FINALLY came around, this happens and hes back there. He's totally screwed himself because she is ALL up for divorce.
The Adderoll is gone, has been gone, and he knows it. My ADHD is pretty bad, but of course he's more important. He hates seeing me sad, and misses me terribly. Unfortunately mommy and daddy have a big influence on him, and he ran his mouth again so I think he's dreading telling them. I hate this.

Sorry I struggled to read all of what you posted cos my concentration is crap, but I wanted to give you some hugs and to say that I hope your relationship makes it through this difficult time. Hopefully your marriage counsellor will have some helpful suggestions.

Msboise

*Willow*

[IndieVisible]

He should ask his pdoc if he can get adderall. If not abused and used as prescribed they should not trigger his past addiction of meth. They usually start you off on lower doses and scripts are seriously monitored against abuse. For example if you say you lost your script, your out of luck they can not give you another one until the following month. His pdoc could decide adderall would not be best suited for him in which case they do have non-amphetamine alternatives that do help concentration and used for ADD/ADHD.

If he truly has paranoid schizophrenia you both should watch the movie, "A Beautiful Mind" a true story of John Nash a genius who also struggled with paranoid schizophrenia through out most of his life and even beat it! Directed by Ron Howard, one of the best films I ever seen.

The thing to remember is things are not really as bad as they may seem right now. There is a lot of hope here! Good luck to both of you!