[Zaria]

My son was taken to the hospital last weekend because he suddenly (over several preceding days) became so delusional he was convinced that his life was in danger and he needed to leave the country or he would be killed. He believes there would be finacial gain for a relative of mine if his life ends, (which is completely false!). He was even convinced that myself and another relative was somehow involved in it. There is no where for him to go (another country or anywhere else) and I was very fearful for his safety (regarding his mental state) at that point. Things have gotten out of hand in the past so I was able to get help before it got to that point this time. I was able to see (after he was gone) that he has not been taking his zyprexa. This is his 2nd hospitalization in two months and the third in 13 months. Unfortunately, (though I realize it is to protect their rights) I have not been able to talk to medical staff or his doctor at the hospital he is still at. I imagine they will not hold him there more than a week, (if even that long).
It seems all that is done is to stabilize, hold for a few days, and then release them with no plan. Then the whole scenario is repeated again in a matter of weeks (or months). Sadly, this past year, he seems to be deteriorating quickly right before our eyes and I am at a loss as to what I can do to help him.

Does he live at home? Psychosis is a self enforcing condition. What i mean, is that fear and anxiety cause an ever increasing state of fear , its an ever increasing exponential phenomenon. So its not a case , for most at least , that if a person retreats or becomes fearful that a baseline of functionality will be established , no it unfortunately keeps deteriorating there is no baseline , it is an ever-expanding process until floridly psychotic.

So what am i saying? does he have exposure to social situations , does he have interests , i'm lucky in that i have a strong interest in scientific and medical information , i also have a unlimited broadband package that allows me to search information whenever i choose. So even though i am curtailed , i have the ability to entertain myself in solitary situations. So instead of being obsessed with psychotic states , i love to search and search for information.

So could your son find a similar interest

And the obvious thing is , can he find a med and a dosage that he can tolerate. If he finds a med that helps him he maybe encouraged to be actively responsible for his mental health.

Also try and get him enrolled in a part time course that is not too stressful ,

I guess what i'm saying is that information is empowering . Its absence can breed disconnection , which can fuel psychosis.
Good luck.

Ps you obviously know your self but with regards to the internet
Playn poker 24hrs a day or keyboard warrior type of activity would be a no no. Or politicisation or googling conspiracy type stuff would obviously not be good. Natural and evidenced based phenomenon may be interesting for him.

Obviously the goal would be less of the solitary stuff and more of the social stuff. if the social situations are too much at the mo , your son can spend time doing non destructive , kinds of activities.

[DePressMe]

Zaria, I'm sorry you are going through this...having a child with mental illness is difficult. I'm on the other end--I'm the child w/MI. There have been times when my mom got really, really upset because I was delusional and sick. She felt like she had little control and yet, she is my Mother, it's in her nature to want to do everything she can to help me. And, when she can't help me because I'm in a hospital or too far away she feels like she not being allowed to be my mom--it hurts her. I don't understand why the hospital and doctors are not including you in the treatment of your son--even if he is an adult. My discharge plans always included family support, meds and such. I hope he will start taking his meds because sometimes we don't get better without them. He should be assigned a social or case worker as part of his hospital treatment team. Can you get in touch with them? They have more of a say about what happens with a patient when they are discharged...they might be able to help you.

I hope your son gets better. He might be delusional and paranoid but I'm sure he still loves you.

[costello]

Thinking about you, Zaria. Hope things are a bit better now.

[faerie_moon_x]

I hope your son is better soon.

[dillpickle1983]

Hope your son feels better soon. Hopefully they can get him on meds that help with the delusions.

[Zaria]

Thank you all for your responses. It seems to me that half the battle in trying to cope and get help with a mental illness is realizing that you have one. Many of you who post here, are already to that point. When you are aware of your problems, it gives you something to build on. When you are not doing well, you may not have insight at the time but at least you also have periods when you are able to accept it for what it is . My son is still in the stage where he insists there is nothing wrong and finds made up excuses for the several psychotic episodes we've gone through the past year. "I ate too much protein" or "I wasn't getting enough sleep" are often his way finding explanations for it.
It is terrifying to watch a loved one suffering this and I cannot imagine how awful and scary it must be at times for someone who has it. But knowing about it surely must be more helpful than being in denial. At least that's what I am assuming.
I realize that my son will have to come to this realization on his own terms, when he is ready and able, (if ever?).

[costello]

Not getting enough sleep is a valid issue. If he's aware that not getting enough sleep can lead him to become psychotic, that's a good thing. Whether you see it as a cause of psychosis or merely a sign that psychosis is right around the corner, it's good to be aware of.

Another one is isolating. If a person with a tendency to psychosis begins isolating, it's not a good sign. Again whether it's a cause or a sign, it's something to watch for.

IMO it doesn't really matter if your son accepts that he has an illness. (He'll need to accept that something is wrong, or he'll never change.) My son doesn't think of himself as having an illness. He knows he gets confused in his thinking sometimes. I don't know how he explains it to himself, but I don't think the disease model appeals to him. It doesn't matter. He knows that if he goes down a certain path, he starts believing things that aren't true and that pretty much f's up his life. People problems. Money problems. Hospitalizations. The whole nine yards. He does what he needs to do to avoid all that.

You might have a look at the book I Am Not Sick I Don't Need Help: How to Help Someone with Mental Illness Accept Treatment by Xavier Amador.

[faerie_moon_x]

I'm with Costello that lack of sleep is a big issue. If I'm not getting proper sleep (at least 7 hours a night minimum,) then things are going to go off the rails quickly.

Another really important thing I've learned is I need to stay on my routine as much as possible. I hate getting too far off routine. I do not function properly when things are not going as I expect them to go. Small fluctuations or a day here and there are not an issue. But when a major change in my routine happens I'm not going to handle it well for a long time. I'm just now getting comfortable with the routine change from when my middle son started school when he was 4. He's 7 now. That's how long it takes me to make a big change, and I'm still dread it and feel relief on days he doesn't have school.

Also, diet is actually important to your mental health. Eating a healthy balanced diet is important for your brain, and so is exercise.

Maybe it seems like excuses, but I have a feeling your son is aware something happens when he's not sleeping/eating poorly. That's at least a first step he has some awareness that something happened. I can tell you I tend to believe I'm a very logical and knowledgable person. So when I lose insight it's really hard to take that everything I thought was true was actually just in my own mind.

The best way I describe it is imagine if one day you wake up and everyone says the sky is green. You clearly see it's blue, you know it's always been blue. But everyone around you tells you you're crazy. The sky is green and always has been. How hard would it be to live with everyone telling you you're wrong and delusional? It's a hard thing to digest, really.

[dillpickle1983]

For a fact: If I don't get enough sleep, I start getting impairing delusions and hallucinations. You have to sleep. Your brain needs it regardless of how old or young you are.

[Zaria]

Of course all of the above is true. I believe EVERYONE OF US needs a good nights sleep and a healthy diet to function well. But doesn't the fact that he rarely takes his medication except when he feels he needs it may be causing him more problems.
How do you know you need medication if you are delusional at the time?
I know medication is not a magic solution and some don't work for everyone, but he has never been on it even long enough to give it a chance.
He doesn't like to talk about (side effects etc.) He has told us that he's worried about the toxic effects of medication causing more damage to his brain. He was put on a very low dose of zyprexa though and never followed through with taking it. I just wish he would give it more time to see how it may possibly help, before discounting any benefits it might provide and stopping it (which is what he always does just days after starting it).
If he had tried it and been on it a while, at least given it a chance, I'd be more inclined to stop "pushing" it. Obviously if it has no benefits for him, then there will be no point in continuing taking it.
Thanks Costello, I will check out that book!

[costello]

Originally Posted by Zaria

I know medication is not a magic solution and some don't work for everyone, but he has never been on it even long enough to give it a chance.

For most people this is a long journey. Most people don't just go on the meds and stay on them. It takes a long period of going off and on meds to decide that the upside exceeds the downside. If they ever decide that. Some people decide the meds aren't worth it.

When I first started on this journey, I couldn't understand why my son didn't just take the meds. It was so clear to me that he was much, much better when taking meds than when not. I'm sure there were a variety of reasons he didn't. Time and experience have convinced him he needs a small dose of the medication to stay stable. (Although sometimes I think he's not completely convinced. He'll comment that the med makes no difference or that he's sure he could just quit it and be fine, that he can control his thoughts without it.)

IIRC Dr. Amador suggests taking an approach where you ask the person if his life goes better when he's on the meds or off. It'll take time for your son to have a store of experiences you and he can look back on and reflect on the question: is my life better on the meds or off?

Much of this is a waiting game. A lot of patience is required. Americans like to move in and fix problems. We want answers. We want solutions. We want to make things happen. We're not accustomed to just waiting and watching as events unfold.

And stuff may not unfold as you want it to. Your son may decide that meds aren't for him. If he's not hurting himself or anyone else, that's his decision IMO. I had a person (on a different forum) tell me once that I was being cruel to my son because I wasn't forcing meds on him. (This was right after I made my decision to stop trying to force him to do things and try to help him figure out what he wanted to do. He was pretty deep in psychosis at the time, and I'm sure a lot of people thought I'd completely lost my mind. ) Anyway this woman on this other forum said that she'd suffered a long time until she discovered how much better things were when she was taking meds. She felt I could cut short my son's suffering by skipping him past the unmedicated-and-lost phase right to the medicated phase.

I disagree, because once you introduce the element of force, treatment is no longer treatment. It's something else entirely. Treatment should feel like caring. If you have to force the other person to take a particular treatment, they won't feel cared for. They'll feel anger or fear or resentment or paranoia. And none of that is conducive to treatment. And as much as we seem to like to believe that we're nothing but our material bodies, almost machines, the fact is that 99% of medical care is in the relationship between the healer and the sufferer. This is true even of a hang nail. How much more important is it then to something as complex as the mind/soul/spirit - whatever it is that is being treated in a person dx'd with MI.

How the patient feels about the treatment and about the doctor is more important than the actual mechanics of the treatment. So your son has to be on board, or it'll be more harmful than helpful.

My son's not that into his pdoc, but he trusts me, and I think he should keep seeing him, so he does. He trusts that I'm on his side, and I won't give him bad advice, and I'll listen to him and back him if he has serious reservations about his service providers.

He has told us that he's worried about the toxic effects of medication causing more damage to his brain.

Honestly, I probably would be too, if I were in his shoes. The question becomes what is the quality of his life without meds? What are the risks and the benefits of the meds? Really, only he can answer that question for himself (assuming he's not a danger to himself or others).

I don't think pretending there are no risks from the meds is a good idea. It's the kind of thing mental health people do, and it just destroys trust - especially in people who are already paranoid. They oversell the benefits and fail to mention the risks/side effects. If your doctor did that to you, would you trust him or think he had your best interests at heart? I wouldn't.

If he had tried it and been on it a while, at least given it a chance, I'd be more inclined to stop "pushing" it. Obviously if it has no benefits for him, then there will be no point in continuing taking it.

You may be surprised someday to find that you see "obvious benefits" to the meds and he will disagree. He may tell you the meds make no difference or make things worse, when you see the exact opposite.

I read on a forum once a comment that most people dx'd with sz take their AP's for their relatives not for themselves. That may be an exaggeration, I don't know, but for sure it's hard to live with someone's who's in the midst of a psychotic episode.

[faerie_moon_x]

I'm an advocate for different types of therapy. Being someone who has never been on treatment for longer than a month or two at a time, I've come to decide I don't think meds are the answer for me personally. If they help someone, that's great. But for me, I've come this far without them so I think I could find other ways. But, that's me and my journey.

But, a lot of the stuff that is non-med is still in research and will take time to be accepted. Kind of like how accupuncture actually works on certain things, you know? It took a long time for people to accept it.

In my mind, I find it a journey of wellness, of making my life livable and worth living. There are docs who see a huge non-compliance issue and one of the top complaints is the meds make you feel terrible. They can make you fat and give you diabetes. They make you feel like a zombie. They make you sleep all the time. They can give you involuntary muscle movements which can become permanent. There are docs who push for better meds than this that are safer and don't make people feel sick.

So... it's a long, long journey and your son is at the start.

[insilence]

before you call him delusional, is he hearing voices, or paranoid without hallucinations?
if he has voices, go buy 10 torus magnets and 10 cube magnets, put them together, hold them to his temple in front of his ears, bend and swipe until he reports feeling something move. Thats how i discovered i have implants, though I know many doubt me and think im cray.