[Secretum]

I rarely feel like other people (like spies or the government) mean me harm, with the exception of random men when I'm walking alone at night, which I think is normal.

I do, however, often feel like the universe has engineered itself so as to cause me maximum pain, that I will fail at everything I attempt, that God is out to get me and the worst possible outcome to every situation will occur.

Is this paranoia, or just garden-variety pessimism?

[DePressMe]

Yeah, Secretum, it seems like some people--like myself--generally have a bit of bad luck. I've had a lot of bad things happen to me and when I dwell on them it seems like only bad things happen to me. But then, something will trigger a positive event or a memory of one and I'll realize that I've had some good things happen to me too. Unfortunately my paranoia and schizo has been getting worse and it does seem like I suffer a lot because of it.

So, maybe it's a little of both with you--a little paranoia and a little pessimism. Sometimes I force myself to sit and write about something good in my life--past or present. It helps me keep things in perspective......D.

[FireBird]

My dad thinks this same thing. He thinks that while we are driving God put the slowest car in front of him, then when we back up out of a spot hundreds of cars and people are walking and backing up at the same time. Same with his job. Same in every aspect of his life, and he is not schizophrenic! He thinks its a giant simulation game from God and we are all the characters. But he has OCD, Asperger's Syndrome, severe anxiety (GAD) and mild depression from time to time. This is where I get my mental illness from.

[JoyDivision7680]

When I prepare to do something different, even risky, like smoking pot, I'm starting to think that God doesn't want me to do that and therefore he'll do something to stop me. First time I noticed these thoughts was a few years ago when, as a 14 year old, I'd pick up half-smoked cigarettes from the street and smoke them myself (stupid, yeah). I can't remember what exactly triggered those thoughts (if there was any trigger), but ever since I've been much worried than before.

[kitty_m]

JoyDivision, I have those same thoughts!

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[nbritton]

Originally Posted by Secretum

I do, however, often feel like the universe has engineered itself so as to cause me maximum pain, that I will fail at everything I attempt, that God is out to get me and the worst possible outcome to every situation will occur.

Is this paranoia, or just garden-variety pessimism?

Look out for those lightning bolts sweetie... the universe is totally out to get us!:

Neil Degrasse Tyson - Stupid Design - YouTube

Seriously though, I've often thought like you are. I think it's a garden variety mix of delusions, paranoia, and pessimism. When I'm sick, sometimes I'll have delusions that bad things will happen to me on rainy days and good things on sunny days. Sometimes I'll go as far as turning off my phone and communications devices, and not going outside as a way to prevent bad things from happening to me. It's totally f**ked up, because I know, even when I'm sick, that this is delusional thinking. However, despite knowing that my thoughts are delusional, I can't change my thought process, and on some days my whole day is occupied with me trying to remind myself that I'm being delusional.

[IndieVisible]

Some times I think God and I have a special relationship that no one else has not even the pope. Some times I think he's out to get me.

[kitty_m]

I think me and God have a special relationship but sometimes I think he thinks I'm more special than everyone else and sometimes I think he thinks I've rebelled from him and he doesn't love me as much as everyone else

[kitty_m]

And like joydivision said, I think when I'm doing something I shouldn't be, he's going to do something to stop me

[IndieVisible]

It's all part of the game. A game with no rules or guide. Good luck!

[newtus]

Originally Posted by kitty_m

I think me and God have a special relationship but sometimes I think he thinks I'm more special than everyone else and sometimes I think he thinks I've rebelled from him and he doesn't love me as much as everyone else

i think this too

[RRex]

I always say God is out to get me, but it's probably Satan. It's evil and it did something vile to me twice.