[aleej28]

Little background since I'm new here: im 21 years old and i live on my own with my 4 year old son (who has autism). my main disorders are schizopsychosis, bpd, and major depression. The one thing that has been affecting me the most is my paranoia and hallucinations. This started just recently, I remember my first episode being over the summer last year (2013). It was around 10pm and I was in my room and my son was asleep in his room down the hall. I remember being almost asleep when I heard a voice yell my name and it jerked me awake and I felt this paralyzing fear, like someone was in my house. My first reaction was the slam my bedroom door shut and lock it and then I hid in my closet. I kept extremely still and quiet for almost 30 minutes before I called my mom to come over. Of course the front door was locked and we lived in at the time a gated community...it was completely safe. But that paralyzing fear that someone was in my house stayed with me until my mom came, checked the whole house (and it was small with no attic or basement) and found nothing. I was so ashamed and embarrassed because of course her first question to me was why didn't I go check on Ashton first? If someone was in my house, shouldn't my parental instincts to my protect my child have kicked in? I still tear up thinking about this cuz I really feel I let my son down. This has happened a handful of times since then and I can't seem to shake it. My therapist and psychiatrist has tried changing up my meds to help with the paranoia but nothing seems to be working. Is there anything anyone else has tried to help them?

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[junkDNA]

when i get paranoid my T tells me to try to fight it. i can understand that it feels very real in the moment. its hard for me to fight it too. but i try to tell myself that its a symptom and its not real.

[faerie_moon_x]

I wrote this into another article. It's about a reality checking technique I use which I learned from the bipolar board. I'm not in treatment but this is a real cognitive behavior thing and it works for reality checking, but only if you can have enough insight right when it's happening.

I am not in treatment and I learned this from someone here on the board, so I don't have all the details but basically remember ABC.

A = Activating event. You identify what is making you paranoid.

B = Beliefs. Make a list of all the beliefs that are happening, even if they seem irrational. And then try to decide if they are irrational or not. (This can be hard sometimes, and you may need to do a little fact checking/digging.)

C= Change your response. Instead of clinging to the irrational belief, you discuss why it is not rational. Maybe you confront someone on things, which means you have to be honest with them so this won't be an option with everyone.

The key is changing your reaction. The paranoia may not go away completely but you can start to feel stronger and not instantly lock yourself in. Becoming aware of how you react to things is really a key in this.

Also, if this doesn't help and your meds aren't working you need to tell your doctor.

[aleej28]

I'm going to look further into this technique and try it out next time, thank you!

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