[RikRapture]

Hello everyone my name is Rick. First off I want to say I am happy to finally have found a place to share/meet people going through similar situations.

Now to the point.
It seems like I am only able to stay "clear" when I have any form of technology at my reach. When I stop and sit it begins. There is a blurring of...worlds I guess. Its hard to explain really. The bright day will change to a cloudy night with clouds...and fields with cabbages and pumpkins, buildings made from wood and stone. Sort of like a past time where cars and phones didnt exist. Also there is a girl Claire that is a companion to me...but I feel like she's from this world and im from the cold and cloudy "past" one. Everyone says she's a hallucination but I say thats b.s. I can feel she is more. How can I feel smell taste hear and see her , and she NOT be real. I love her so screw what they say. It's not like they can go on and live without being able to make happy. No one realizes that if i want to be happy with her then let me be. It doesn't change youre life or how you perceive things. Im just scared she wont be able to be by my side if I leave back to my world.

(I took some time to calm down before continuing)
Well that was intense for a sec...anyways so yeah, what are you're thoughts on this?

Sent from my SPH-L710 using Tapatalk

[ickydog2006]

Part of me feels like if it is not affecting others than what business is it of there's. The other part of me feels like maybe we should be trying to get 'better' or that our lives can be more meaningful/fulfilling when our realities are the same as those around us. My brain lies to me and I'm accepting that, and meds help my reality to sync with others, and sometimes I feel like maybe I would be better off letting myself go 'crazy' and not care what others think. But for me that also would probably end in prison, hurting other's, and forced medication anyways. Either way, there are a lot of challenges, whether we choose to stay in our own little world or try to sync our lives and thoughts with those around us. No matter what we do, we will impact those around us, and we basically live in their reality and have to abide by the laws and rules of their reality, I'm not sure fighting against it is very logical or rational. If we fight against our desire to stay in our own little world, I think it overall improves the lives of those around us, but consequently it can be much more painful on ourselves. Maybe the greater good is sacrificing my own happiness for those of my friends and family. I hope that makes sense. Obviously, I don't know the answers, that's just kind of my view/thoughts on things.

[ickydog2006]

Also I doubt that I would be very happy in my own little world anyways.

[emeraldstars]

I know for me it gets confusing on which is which. If I paint on the computer then I try to do it on paper just like the computer. I can't get that there is no delete button on the pad and stuff like that. It affects other things too but that was an example. Sometimes it is hard to know which world is which and mostly I don't care too much.