[BonnieCB]

I tried to post this before but they never went through with the post for some reason,so If you see a double post of this topic sorry Just reply to this one instead. Thanks, So here is the Deal,
Hello I am 21 year old female,Living at home I don't have a Job yet..
I have always had these symtoms But it's gotten worse...See
I have a problem with seeing and hearing things that aren't there
Sometimes I see people,or cartoons.... Or shades of light that are there then
Gone in a blink of an eye..this has been happening for as lng as I can remember
But only recently has it gotten worse. Sometimes I will hear my name being called or I will hear the tv being on or two or more people having a conversation...Even when No one is home and I am alone and every electrical appliance has been turned off. Sometimes I feel that life is a dream and I am in a coma and none of this is real
And sometimes I laugh or cry or do some random impulsive thing for no reason
Like kick the wall or the table/desk or break something then I play it off like it didn't happen.. These things happen when I am under no stress at all but when I am under stress they do get worse. they are always present even on my best of days. Also I get tired more than usual and sleep for longer periods of time than I should. I have weird and disturbing thoughts of things That I have to constantly fight back from my mind,Thoughts that I know aren't mine,I would never think these things but yet they pop into my head. I took the sanity score test on here and it told me i scored 70 points for schizophrenia.then I took the screening test for schizophrenia and scored an 75 then I took it again but answered more truthfully about things and got a 78.I looked schizophrenia up and many things I experience are very similar,it kind of freaks me out,I am too shy to seek professional help I just can't talk to someone face to face about my problems what if someone laughs at me or people see me going to a doctor and try to use the new found info that I have something wrong with me against me? And I cant talk to my parents either they just laugh it off as just stress they are in complete denial they can't accept something is wrong with me So if I get help I will have to seek it myself but I am afraid of it! I am afraid of people knowing my problems I don't want to be dubbed crazy and slapped on some medicine that I probably don't need. any advice on how to overcome this fear of seeking help would be much appreciated. Thank you so much.

[Sometimes psychotic]

Well its hard because in my case I got dragged into the psychiatrist by my friends because I was entirely non-functional so I never had to deal with that. I think one of the major questions is how bad are things for you as in is it worth changing? There are costs to both paths. There is a relatively new concept called the duration of untreated psychosis or DUP---the idea is that the longer you go without an anti-psychotic the worse your outcome will be. That means if you wait too long you may never fully recover or the meds won't be as effective or whatever its kind of like cancer it can be treated if caught early but if you wait too long its terminal. On the flip side the meds themselves are not without problems---the side effects are pretty bad and they don't work for everyone. If you're capable of living with the voices then you might want to try something like intervoice instead.

Intervoice: The International Hearing Voices Network

[BonnieCB]

Sorry in advanced this post is a bit long but is important as to describing what goes on in my head: Well I certantly don't want it to get any worse...it's already bad enough Just the other day I saw this little girl in the parking lot she looked really worried and she had no parents around so I walked up and asked what was wrong? my family asked who I was talki g with so I turned to face them then turned around and she was gone,that REALLY got me i played it off sure but I allready sounded Fng Crazy. I also have this fear,what if I am gifted and not crazy at all? it's possible...And what if the meds they put people on are all a money making scam. what if we gifted people see the world as it really is but they want to stop us for some reason,what reason? i don't know yet..still trying to figure that out,then I have to YELL at myself to stop it.stop thinking about that stuff it just sounds freakin insane.I can't get through a day without discussing things with my inner voice what if the meds make her go away? I don't wanna lose her she's a good gift. people like us who have positive voices should be so lucky and not try to get rid of them,it's what makes ourself special. Now that you've gotten a look inside my mind tell me,do you think it's gone too far? or should I get help right away? and do you think It sounds like schizophrenia based on what any of you know or have gone through? I need to know so I can tell whatever doctor i will eventually see what i think may be wrong with me.Thanks.

[Sometimes psychotic]

Honestly I do think it sounds a lot like schizophrenia you're having both visual and auditory hallucinations over a long period of time. They are of the complex variety ie people and not spots or auras which are associated with certain medical conditions. There are additional criteria like delusions or cognitive problems too though and you have to be impaired in some aspect of your work/school or social life. The one thing I would be concerned about is sometimes you get so far along that you no longer recognize the fact that what you are seeing or hearing might not be real. I too had positive visions. I thought I was being inducted into a secret psychic society that used their abilities to better heal people and that I was working with a shaman and a wind goddess in the spirit world to send energy for healing to people. Its hard to determine whether these visions had any truth but they were interfering with my ability to get work done and interact with people in the real world...for me had I not taken medicine I would not be well enough to work and support myself. At this point I can visit the spirit world when I want using shamanism practices instead of whenever the spirits feel like contacting me. It works out a lot better this way for me. I would say this that I worry a little about your feelings toward the meds...in my case the meds absolutely saved my life its 3 years later and I no longer have to take them at all. They are not a scam although there is a 30% chance they will not work at all. They don't touch your inner voice that sounds like you but if it sounds like somebody else it may change. Here is the thing if you go to a psychiatrist they pretty much have one way of treating you and that is medicine so if that's not what you're after then don't go see one. There are certainly other approaches like CBT which probably isn't available for psychosis where you are from but your could read a book on CBT for psychosis it helps you think through what you are experiencing better. Also like I said check out intervoice or other groups for people who accept that they hear voices and often choose not to medicate.

[BonnieCB]

Thanks for the advice,i truly believe we all have psychic abilities that vary from person to person. I have always been a strong believer in that sort of thing actually. anyway thanks for the advice,I am glad it wont make the good voice go away but i would like the bad ones that tell me irrational things like my food has been poisoned or they hate me to go away.those ones are so irritating. i will seek self help first and then if that wont help i will see a doctor. being 21 with these problems is hard.my fiance is always here for me and I would be talking this over with him too,i will in time,I just dont want to worry him,but i know he'd rather me come clean maybe he can push me into seeing a doctor he's usually the one who helps me get over my fears the quickest. but i needed to spill it all out on a forum first so i can feel calmer. now that it's all out i think i can move on to the next part. thanks for listening.

[Cannablissfully]

Sounds like you need to see a psychiatrist pronto! I am dealing with the nervous issue too.But You can do it! I am going to be seeing one soon.Just take deep breaths relax and chill out.Do you smoke weed? I am not trying to promote something to you if you don't but if you do it really can calm your nerves. It helps me quite a bit.

[transient]

I can relate to you, and I'm sorry that you're going through this!
I can understand your fear of being perceived negatively, too, especially by a doctor. If your doctor is a good one, they will listen to you with care, and they will talk with you to help you come up with good ways to cope. If they laugh at you or push medications on you without trying to understand what you are going through, they probably aren't a very good doctor.

Being adamant about medications myself, every time I had to see a new therapist I would make sure I told them that I wasn't looking into medications at the time and would explain a little bit why. Talk therapy alone can help, let me tell you! It will be such a relief when you find your counsellor! Just being able to get certain things off your chest, and having someone else to say that what you're going through is real, is very helpful!

I hope this was able to help you in any way, and I have hope that you'll find someone who you can easily talk to and will do their best for you! Take gentle care

[yellowlemonlime123]

i got diagnosed with severe depression followed by psychosis...i experienced voices and sometimes visual hallucinations. i think as long as you know it is not real, u r still in the safe side. but i know it is difficult to not believe those horrific things about your food being poisoned and stuff....try to reason yourself out. like if your food is made by you, you know it is not poisoned! you made them! things like that. i hope you are not doing drugs. they can induce these hallucinations. as far as taking drugs, try to get the one that will not give you side effects. i lost the touch with the reality when i had mine that i had no control over the medications taken and they had horrible side effects. like i couldnt move or those drugs made me feel weird stuff throughout my body. i would get help but make sure the doctor is caring...