[ZehR]

You only need to read what is in black because I have a problem with over-elaborating my thoughts.

I'm posting in this forum because the Schizotypal PD forum has no people. It's because we don't really want treatment, only for anxiety, relationships, trusting people, motivation, negative symptoms, depression, OCD, ADD, etc.. and when it gets out of hand because usually we are walking on the fence of reality-psychosis and can easily hold onto it when we get tired fall off. I will also post something like this on ADHD forums.com

So yesterday my mom asked me what I had for breakfast and I had no clue. I had to think for a few minutes and still had no idea. I knew that I had breakfast but I didn't know what it was. She brushes these types of things off because it's normal for me having ADHD and cognitive impairment in relation to psychosis or just ADHD and weird thoughts who knows.

Anyways, my memory is terrible. I did a cognitive and IQ test which took about 6 hours. The results came back normal with a few exceptions of a very bizarre way of learning, exceptional math skills and a short term memory/attention span that is in the low scale 10% of the population with no learning disabilities or anything. This is no surprise considering that I have ADHD but I think Schizotypal (A personality disorder with characteristics of Schizophrenia which can be easily confused for Schizophrenia at times - I would basically describe it as having obsessive OCD and ADHD-PI) has a lot to do with this as my thinking is very weird and disorganized. "Cognitive deficits in patients with schizotypal personality disorder are very similar to, but quantitatively milder than, those for patients with schizophrenia". I also hear that a first psychotic episode (Or break I'm not sure) can cause cognitive impairment with no worsening of symptoms during future periodic psychosis such as interest in a bank account but the psychosis itself will get worse if not managed properly.

"Schizotypal: Occasional transient quasi-psychotic episodes with intense illusions, auditory or other hallucinations and delusion-like ideas, usually occurring without external provocation". - I read a study about how Schizotypals do better than Schizophrenics (Disorganized Schizophrenia in particular) in creative type tests because with Schizotypal, there is less cognitive impairment so the thoughts are more organized. I saw a thread about how people with Schizophrenia can be coherent as they are when posting in this forum and it just came to the conclusion that typing on this forum is a lot easier because mistakes can be erased so it makes more sense.

I get bored and anxious a lot so my mind subconsciously alters my perception of reality to the point where it can be overwhelming and cause paranoia or psychosis. If I didn't have a good psychiatrist, I would have been diagnosed with brief psychotic disorder and given a higher dose of antipsychotics when all I really need to do I calm my mind down. I don't want to see my psychologist because he wants to build a trusting relationship to get into my mind for ideas of reference, magical thinking psychotic ideas etc but idk. For example, people with Schizotypal will even alter their relationships with people. If I had a girlfriend, my mind would give me a distorted view of her real personality to fit my personal preference. It can be as real as real can possibly get. I can have a fake dog and if it got hit by a car, I would feel the same emotions as if it were real. This is why I think that the person with the thread "I'm sorry", does in fact have a Schiz related disorder because it is a delusion. Even though you know, it can be 99.9% deluded and 50% is hard enough as it is. 80% I was basically crying out for help before there's nothing that I can do but I keep silent because of the fear of It being a possibility.

Ok so basically, I need help with making categories of things to be remembered and wrote down every day to help improve my memory and organize my thinking. Maybe it can help others too. I'll just improvise right now...

Memory Retaining Log

Mood during the course of the day:

Thoughts;

Hallucinations:

Medications taken Yes/No (If not, why):

Actions/Activities:

What is good/bad about the day:

Food and drinks;
Breakfast:
Lunch:
Dinner:
Other:

Hygiene;
Brushing teeth:
Shower/Bath:
Other: (I thought I did more than that hmm)

Sleep quality and time:

Exercise activity and time:

Intensity level:

Relationships:

Goals:

blahblahblah I can't think of anymore. Maybe mania, depression, sanity, paranoia levels ect. I would like to know if anyone else has any thoughts as to if this is a good idea, to add more to the list or am I just wasting my time because usually I don't have as much motivation as I do right now. Even if I do nothing all day, it's still good to do maybe idk.

Thanks.

[ZehR]

Btw I don't mean for people to post the list here and examples only the ideas for the list itself. The list should be in private so you can say anything you want on it.

[Sometimes psychotic]

Not an idea for the list itself but I recommend Evernote for this...I was having trouble remembering whether I had actaully done things or just thought about doing them during my first break...job related stuff that didn't actually have a clear physical manifestation ie did I add some small volume of liquid to a much bigger volume of liquid. I either took paper notes as I did things or put it I to my phone/computer/tablet because Evernote links everything. Very handy to have a smartphone for this or if not then a little notebook.

[junkDNA]

i used to keep a little notebook and rate my mood, thoughts, and voices and my T would look at it