[sabby]

Hello Folks,

Here is the new Roll Call thread. The last one was removed because of the issues that came up between a couple of members. Please remember that these forums and threads are for everyone's benefit, not just a few, but everyone. Whether we are here to be uplifting and supportive, down in the trenches fighting the good fight or posting about how difficult life can be, it's all good.

Please acquaint yourselves with our Community Guidelines and know that each member is expected to conduct themselves in a supportive way to one another. If you don't feel supportive of someone, feel free to put that member on ignore so you won't be bothered by their posting, it doesn't have to be a forever thing, just while you feel you need to do so. That's what is called doing your self care and taking responsibility for your actions.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/rules...15-2013-a.html

Let's keep this Roll Call going on it's intended path. A place to check in with everyone and post a little about how you are feeling at the moment or something has happened and you want to brag about it or want some support about it.

So, if you will indulge me, I'll start!

Today, was not an easy day for me. Some days you are the windshield and some days you are the bug....well today, I WAS THE BUG!!!

Oh well, let me peel myself off that windshield, nurse my wounds and get back up tomorrow to do it all over again......

Whoa I haven't been on all day... sounds like things got heated or something.

I hope everyone is doing ok.

[costello]

I'm good. How are you, Sunshine?

I'm more at peace. It looks to be the consensus of all the ppl wanting this organization exposed that the woman making the film is not doing it for the good of us abuse survivors. It's unfortunate but she's asked me to be in it like 10 times and made me feel like I lacked courage bc I wouldn't be in it. Well I guess she's done some other manipulative stuff with others. But all in all I feel more at peace.

How are u?

[costello]

I'm glad you're at peace. I probably wouldn't want to be in a film either. Is it a documentary? I would worry that my bit would be edited to make it appear I was saying something different than I was.

Originally Posted by costello

I'm glad you're at peace. I probably wouldn't want to be in a film either. Is it a documentary? I would worry that my bit would be edited to make it appear I was saying something different than I was.

Yeah it's an documentary. She was in this organization for 36 yrs and claims she never saw abuse, bs...She's exploiting hurt ppl and its wrong! She's doing the same thing they do in this organization but now just doing it with the victims of this organization. It's sad. But I don't feel the guilt she played on me anymore...

[costello]

Originally Posted by sunshine1995

Yeah it's an documentary. She was in this organization for 36 yrs and claims she never saw abuse, bs...She's exploiting hurt ppl and its wrong! She's doing the same thing they do in this organization but now just doing it with the victims of this organization. It's sad. But I don't feel the guilt she played on me anymore...

I'm glad you're not letting her manipulate you. It doesn't sound like she'd let you get your message out there accurately if you let her interview you.

Originally Posted by costello

I'm glad you're not letting her manipulate you. It doesn't sound like she'd let you get your message out there accurately if you let her interview you.

Yeah exactly. And it's crossing a boundary when u have repeatedly said NO, and she keeps asking me. U don't do that to abuse survivors...But she has never been through what we have, so very much lacking empathy.

[costello]

Originally Posted by sunshine1995

Yeah exactly. And it's crossing a boundary when u have repeatedly said NO, and she keeps asking me. U don't do that to abuse survivors...But she has never been through what we have, so very much lacking empathy.

Has she persuaded anyone to participate?

Originally Posted by costello

Has she persuaded anyone to participate?

Yes many. They don't have the support from family or friend like some of us. She's exploiting them and its sad. But like my other abuse survivors of this organization have said. I need to worry about myself right now. I'm really hoping therapy clicks. It's hard bc this organization has a good reputation. But ppl don't know what REALLY goes on in it. So it's hard to find a therapist that will be understanding and not make excuses for this organization. I'm crossing my fingers that this therapist will be the one...

[costello]

Originally Posted by sunshine1995

Yes many. They don't have the support from family or friend like some of us. She's exploiting them and its sad. But like my other abuse survivors of this organization have said. I need to worry about myself right now. I'm really hoping therapy clicks. It's hard bc this organization has a good reputation. But ppl don't know what REALLY goes on in it. So it's hard to find a therapist that will be understanding and not make excuses for this organization. I'm crossing my fingers that this therapist will be the one...

That's too bad about the ones who are participating. They may come to regret it.

I would hope that any therapist trained in dealing with trauma wouldn't try to defend the organization to the victim.

Originally Posted by costello

That's too bad about the ones who are participating. They may come to regret it.

I would hope that any therapist trained in dealing with trauma wouldn't try to defend the organization to the victim.

I hope so too . But I've had some do just that...

How are u tonight?

Well I'm going to bed. I hope everyone is ok.

[StarStrike]

I'm going on a weekend away. I'll be back on Sunday. I might be able to post on here during the holiday, but I might not. Take care everyone.

[Axiom]

sunshine 1995

-----

I'm feeling agitated today and trying to come to terms with my diagnosis. I will ask the doctor today to get a copy of the results and how I scored. I have a lot of doubts but I know they did a really thorough job and they are very competent.

[Sometimes psychotic]

Originally Posted by sunshine1995

I'm more at peace. It looks to be the consensus of all the ppl wanting this organization exposed that the woman making the film is not doing it for the good of us abuse survivors. It's unfortunate but she's asked me to be in it like 10 times and made me feel like I lacked courage bc I wouldn't be in it. Well I guess she's done some other manipulative stuff with others. But all in all I feel more at peace.

Wow that is so shady...I'm glad you didn't do it....people who have been through that sort of awfulness should be treated with respect and care and not dragged through it all again

[Sometimes psychotic]

Originally Posted by StarStrike

I'm going on a weekend away. I'll be back on Sunday. I might be able to post on here during the holiday, but I might not. Take care everyone.

That sounds fun....take some pics to share if you can

[Sometimes psychotic]

Originally Posted by Axiom

sunshine 1995

-----

I'm feeling agitated today and trying to come to terms with my diagnosis. I will ask the doctor today to get a copy of the results and how I scored. I have a lot of doubts but I know they did a really thorough job and they are very competent.

Welcome to roll call axiom...well all I can say about diagnosis is that if you ever change doctors you might end up with a new interpretation it's not an exact science and for me I try to see the positive possibilities....hmmm 25% of people recover....that's not the best rate but I'm sure I'm one of the 25% and maybe you are too? It doesn't work for everyone in fact it seems to make some people feel worse as if they are in someway capable of changing the outcome when they can't so it's just a suggestion. It's what worked for me...

[costello]

Originally Posted by sunshine1995

I hope so too . But I've had some do just that...

How are u tonight?

Sorry. I fell asleep last night.

[costello]

I'm driving my son to a doctor's appt in KC this morning. He's having surgery on the 7th of July and he needs to have a CAT scan and do a pre-op meeting then meet with his surgeon today. So, it'll be a long day. Actually it's three separate appts.

I'm uneasy about my job. They sent an email a couple of weeks ago saying there would be layoffs. I've been there 18 years, so I doubt I'd be laid off, but ...

Yesterday I took off without letting my supervisor know. I had to take my mom to a doctor's appt, and I thought I'd be back by the end of the day, but I wasn't. The only one I told was my coworker in the next office. I told her to let anyone know if they asked. So, yeah, ... I guess I shouldn't be doing stuff like that with layoffs hanging over my head, but part of me hopes they'll just get rid of me. I don't like that job, but I haven't the nerve to quit. I know that's really stupid. I should just make a plan and quit if I want to quit. If they fire me for cause, I don't get unemployment.

[costello]

Sorry for making a second status update, but I also have a happier one.

I had a three rooster morning. I caught the little Wyandotte rooster this morning. He was sleeping on the basement steps with three of his pullets. I woke them up when I opened the door, and I managed to grab his tail as he was running away, and I picked him up and gave him a quick kiss and a cuddle. He looked so offended. He stared as me with his green eye. The Wyandottes were hatched in early March, and I haven't handled them much, so they're not used to it.

Then I walked downstairs and caught the Sussex rooster sleeping where the Wyandottes usually sleep and gave him a kiss and a cuddle. He's used to it and bore up well.

Then I went over to where the Autralorps sleep and dragged him out from behind three of his pullets and gave him a kiss and a cuddle. He's also used to it.

A three rooster morning! Now maybe I'll grab my Faverolles rooster before I hop into the shower. He's my house rooster since all his pullets died, and the other chickens were bullying him so bad, he's now under my special protection.

[Sometimes psychotic]

Originally Posted by costello

Sorry for making a second status update, but I also have a happier one.

I had a three rooster morning. I caught the little Wyandotte rooster this morning. He was sleeping on the basement steps with three of his pullets. I woke them up when I opened the door, and I managed to grab his tail as he was running away, and I picked him up and gave him a quick kiss and cuddle. He looked so offended. He stared as me with his green eye. The Wyandottes were hatched in early March, and I haven't handled them much, so they're not used to it.

Then I walked downstairs and caught the Sussex rooster sleeping where the Wyandottes usually sleep and gave him a kiss and a cuddle. He's used to it and bore up well.

The I went over to where the Autralorps sleep and dragged him out from behind three of his pullets and gave him a kiss and a cuddle. He's also used to it.

A three rooster morning! Now maybe I'll grab my Faverolles rooster before I hop into the shower. He's my house rooster since all his pullets died, and the other chickens were bullying him so bad, he's now under my special protection.

That's interesting to me that they stick with their own group....is that because of the timing of when you got them as in they all grew up together and became friends or is it more like a preference for feather patterns etc. Somehow I just thought if you had more than one rooster they would fight until one was dominant no matter what kind of hens were involved. I'm glad that's not actually the case....

[costello]

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

That's interesting to me that they stick with their own group....is that because of the timing of when you got them as in they all grew up together and became friends or is it more like a preference for feather patterns etc. Somehow I just thought if you had more than one rooster they would fight until one was dominant no matter what kind of hens were involved. I'm glad that's not actually the case....

It's interesting to me too. Timing may be part of it, but not all. Temperament is part too. The Wyandottes are aggressive, and the Sussex and Faverolles are less so. The Chanteclers (I only have two) tend to sleep with the Wyandottes and spend the day with the Sussex, although they slept with the Sussex last night.

The Chanteclers and Sussex are more aggressive than the Faverolles which are the most timid breed I've seen yet. The Faverolles rooster is even afraid of the dogs and the cat, although none of the other birds are, and he's in the house with them a lot.

I have three Sussex, a rooster and two pullets. They were all supposed to be pullets, but ... oops! They're three different sizes even though they're the same age. You'd expect the rooster might be bigger (although this isn't true of the Australorp, Wyandotte, or Faverolle roosters; they're only a tiny bit bigger than the pullets since they're all still young). The Sussex rooster is huge compared to the pullets. And one of the pullets is tiny compared to the other pullet - actually compared to all the other birds. She gets ostracized, and she sleeps by herself. She finds a little corner somewhere hidden. I do worry she won't make it.

The Australorps and Leghorns have formed a subflock together. I got them at approximately the same time - a week apart. I got the Sussex the same day I got the Leghorns, though, and they don't mix at all.

The expression "Birds of a feather flock together" keeps coming to mind.

[Atypical_Disaster]

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Welcome to roll call axiom...well all I can say about diagnosis is that if you ever change doctors you might end up with a new interpretation it's not an exact science and for me I try to see the positive possibilities....hmmm 25% of people recover....that's not the best rate but I'm sure I'm one of the 25% and maybe you are too? It doesn't work for everyone in fact it seems to make some people feel worse as if they are in someway capable of changing the outcome when they can't so it's just a suggestion. It's what worked for me...

Personally I find the 25% success rate gives me a lot of hope. And seeing your recovery Sometimes has given me a lot of hope as well.

I don't know if I'll be on meds forever or not. I feel a lot more stable than I ever have which is good, but it's like now I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop and for everything to fall apart again. Like I said if I'm going to relapse psychosis wise(I mean with no mood attached) it will be during the summer. I had one hell of a manic episode this earlier this month already but thankfully my pdoc immediately came to my assistance with that.

But today I'm doing well. I have coffee and I'm listening to some of my favorite music. I have the house to myself likely for the whole day, which makes me happy. I'm usually a bit on the extroverted side but I enjoy my alone time none the less.

[junkDNA]

i have to work today...4 to 9 30. and they are calling for 100% chance of thunderstorms at 4. so i will likely get caught in the rain. i miss T. i feel sad i wont get to see him today like i usually do. i guess i feel a little down. but im trying to be positive.