[FreedomFighter]

So the past while I haven't had many visual hallucinations and very little auditory too, but the past month or so I have this ongoing paranoia about a specific thing. I believe somebody might be coming to get me, specifically break in through my tiny window in my room, I lock my door always, sleep with a weapon close by most of the time and always be sure I have my phone within arms reach. I live in a very nice area, mostly older people around, in a small community so when I told somebody about this they laughed because of the nice area I live in. I am only diagnosed with Bipolar 2 and Borderline but I see and hear things others don't even when I'm not manic. I haven't actually talked to my pdoc or therapist about all of this, I don't know why now that I'm thinking of it I probably should.. I guess I'm just used to it. Sometimes delusions can be fun at the time.. But this paranoia gets in the way of things, I have to constantly check around my room, makes sure everything is in place, stay awake for hours waiting for them to come get me, terrified.. Sorry I just had to get this out.

[Sometimes psychotic]

Have you heard of schizoaffective....it's a lot like bipolar but you can have psychosis without an ongoing mood condition...I'm not sure if you're usuing and antipsychotic as a mood stabilizer but if not you should talk to your doc about it because it will help with both conditions....

[FreedomFighter]

I've heard of schizoaffective before and honestly really think I have it. I'm not currently on any meds, but yeah I should probably go back on an antipsychotic, thanks. I have an appt with my pdoc in august so hopefully nothing goes too wrong before then. Thank you!

[Secretum]

Wow, that paranoia must be very difficult to live with. Antipsychotics can help. Also, they are very sedating which will help you sleep.

Does your treatment team know about your paranoia and hallucinations? I was initially dx'd with bp II, but my dx was changed to bp 1 and then schizoaffective as I started opening up more. Labels are nice because they connect you to people with the same problem, and they help to explain the past and predict the future. However, what really matters is treatment, and regardless of your dx it sounds like you need an antipsychotic.

[FreedomFighter]

Only my school/day treatment workers knows most of the extent of my paranoia and typically I don't talk about hallucinations much unless they are bothering me or might be evident to others. I'm really not doing well today and last night was bad.. It's like bugs are crawling under my skin, like legit bugs. My therapist and psychiatrist are away so I'm in a difficult position. I found some trazodone from when I was taking medication a few months ago so I'm going to use that as a prn until I can see a psychiatrist. I really don't want to go back to the hospital again so I'm hoping this doesn't get worse. I'm okay at the moment, coping, because I took hydroxyzine but I only had one dose so now I'm going to take trazodone as a prn. Thank you all for the help, I'm going to talk to my dr when I see her about schizoaffective and get back on meds..