[The_little_didgee]

I'm not sure where this tread belongs.

Sometimes I get agitated. It is very awful sensation inside me. I cannot set still at all. It feels exactly the same as the kind of restlessness a Haldol injection can cause. Nothing can relieve the restlessness but time. It causes me to pace, shake my arms, yell and scream. Sometimes it can last for days and when it does it interferes with sleep. When it is really bad I feel a very strong urge to put my fist in the wall or through whatever I can get my hands on against the wall. If people are around me I have to get away from them because this awful state makes me very irritable. The last thing I want to do is release this awful tension on another person. Most of the time it comes out of nowhere. A few times the feeling of being unable to get myself out of a situation has brought it on. I have noticed it tends to surface a lot more when my so-called symptoms flareup which can occur during both calm and stressful periods.

Yesterday morning about two hours after waking up I began to feel that awful sensation. It was very hard to suppress my urges to scream and punch the wall. I cannot scream and let my frustrations out because I don't want to hurt myself and disturb the neighbors. Last night when I was at a community event that awful feeling was there but it wasn't severe enough for me to leave. I suddenly had an awful urge to cut open my arms. The image I saw in my mind was graphic. It only lasted a few seconds but the feeling to commit this act was very overwhelming and strong. I had to force myself not to dig my nails into my forearms. Immediately afterwards I became very anxious and was able to calm myself down by wringing my hands and shaking my arms. I nearly cried. Has anyone experienced this or something similar?

What happened yesterday is very disconcerting. I don't self-injure. I have experimented with it when I was a teenager, but only when I was on Zoloft and Paxil. It was a side effect. I don't want to resort to that kind of behavior again. It isn't me. Anyway it would make my situation worse. I would lose all my credibility and be ignored by the people who treat me. They may then diagnose me with a personality disorder.

I started taking Cipralex again after a 6 month break at the end of June for my anxiety disorder. Prior to yesterday's incident I had two incidents about two weeks ago. I wanted to cut my elbows open, but the urges were fleeting and subtle. I wasn't agitated when they occurred. I really hope the urge I had yesterday is due to the Cipralex combined with agitation rather than something else. I'm worried that I might be wrong. Doubt is torture. Can anyone relate?

I'm scared.

[Sometimes psychotic]

That sounds terrible...I'm sorry you're experiencing that....I've never wanted to hurt myself in that way but I have had strong urges to smash my iPad etc. Thus far haven't acted on it.

Here is my question for you....would it help to have a heavy bag or something else like a pillow you could punch or hurt or would that make it worse....I almost think it might make it worse because you've physically done the action.

The only other thing I can think of is distracting yourself...keep a kit of things you love nearby, maybe a mini one in your purse. You can have pics, special foods, music, scented things....what ever makes you happy....pull it out if things get rough.

Hugs

[junkDNA]

that sounds a lot like akathisia

[Sometimes psychotic]

Originally Posted by junkDNA

that sounds a lot like akathisia

It's rare but apparently possible with celexa...

Escitalopram-Induced Severe Akathisia: A Case Report

[costello]

Akathisia?

Escitalopram-Induced Severe Akathisia: A Case Report

[costello]

Oh, you all beat me!

[junkDNA]

i would suggest talking to ur doctor about it. also if u cant get in with ur doctor soon try taking benadryl. sometimes it can help alleviate the agitation.

[The_little_didgee]

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Here is my question for you....would it help to have a heavy bag or something else like a pillow you could punch or hurt or would that make it worse....I almost think it might make it worse because you've physically done the action.

I can go for long walks if it isn't too bad. When it is severe I cannot because the urge to scream and lash out is too overwhelming. Suppressing those urges is very difficult so it is best for me to stay at home. I have to keep in control or else I will lose control. Usually I pace, shake my arms, and move my legs constantly when I am sitting down. It seems to help.

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

The only other thing I can think of is distracting yourself...keep a kit of things you love nearby, maybe a mini one in your purse. You can have pics, special foods, music, scented things....what ever makes you happy....pull it out if things get rough.

I have been doing some beading and listening to music.

[The_little_didgee]

Originally Posted by costello

Akathisia?

That is definitely what this is. I just read about it and realized the term agitation doesn't describe it. I have complained about this to my psychiatrist many times before. When I did I used the term agitation so I think she assumed I was just all worked up or really anxious. This is very different from the restlessness I get when I am anxious. I'm going to contact her tomorrow and use the term akathisia instead. Hopefully she can give me something for it.

Apparently urges to self-harm can accompany akathisia. The urges started shortly after I started taking Cipralex. I haven't told my doctor, because I'm scared. I'm not sure if it is the akathisia or the medication that is causing it since I had this awful sensation in the past when I was not on any medication. Most of the time I never get urges to self-harm. I did have those urges a few times when the akathisia was severe, but I was not well during those times.

I never used to get this until my mind entered into the fifth dimension so I know it is related to it.

Originally Posted by junkDNA

i would suggest talking to ur doctor about it. also if u cant get in with ur doctor soon try taking benadryl. sometimes it can help alleviate the agitation.

I have never thought about taking Benadryl for this. Whenever I have taken that in the past it made me hyper.

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

It's rare but apparently possible with celexa...

Escitalopram-Induced Severe Akathisia: A Case Report

That was an interesting report. I wonder why the the patient, who had no psychiatric history, was given escitalopram for a tension headache?

[The_little_didgee]

My psychiatrist thinks the self-harm urges are due to the Cipralex but not the agitation/akathisia. She give me a script for clonazepam. I nearly went on a rage this afternoon. Hopefully this drug will work.