[UnhingedHick]

Not sure if this is even the right area, I have no idea where to put this. I suppose mods will move this if its totally wrong.
But I find a lot that I am emotionally numb but then I also feel like i have feelings inside that I cannot access myself or express because im to busy being numb? It's hard to explain, but does anyone else ever get this sort of thing?

-Nick

[Sometimes psychotic]

Yes these sound a lot like negative symptoms----for me it was like I just didn't care one way or another but I knew that I should care I just didn't.

[UnhingedHick]

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Yes these sound a lot like negative symptoms----for me it was like I just didn't care one way or another but I knew that I should care I just didn't.

This is exactly what I mean! Like sometimes my friend will say something and i feel I should care, yet I don't. Or right now i can't feel anything yet i also feel as if maybe feelings are digging away inside of me that are out of reach.

[Sometimes psychotic]

Originally Posted by UnhingedHick

This is exactly what I mean! Like sometimes my friend will say something and i feel I should care, yet I don't. Or right now i can't feel anything yet i also feel as if maybe feelings are digging away inside of me that are out of reach.

Yeah I'm just starting to get these symptoms but there are some supplements like sarcosine that have been reported to help----I don't think any of the antipsychotics have been shown to work----I'm thinking of ordering some sarcosine to have on hand if it happens again---it doesn't seem to be permanent though but intermittent so that's good.

Also for me when I was thinking about feeling I noticed I was making sort of an angry face like my feelings were trapped and couldn't get out but were still being expressed----all in all its pretty weird but still new for me.

I feel numb in 2 slightly different ways and I'm not entirely certain which one you're referring to. They feel different, but I'm struggling to describe how they differ, so this might not make sense, sorry.

Sometimes I feel absolutely nothing, either because the environment doesn't feel real (derealisation) or because I don't feel real (depersonalisation). So there's no emotions because they're not activated as something isn't real about the situation. Both of those I consider dissociation and they, for me, are a sign of stress and anxiety becoming so overwhelming that I've dissociated myself from them i.e. they don't belong to me anymore.

Then there's when I feel numb and it's more like the feelings are buried than they're absent. It's like I'm aware that I should feel X, but it's too much effort feeling, so I don't bother. This is usually associated with talking and socialising being too much effort too. So I stop using minimal encouragers, and my body language reads as less interested, and I talk less and I avoid people more, just because it's too much effort. An example would be, the other week my Mum bought some antique spoons in a flea market and she asked me if I wanted to see them. Normally I would, even if I didn't really care, because it is showing an interest in my Mum and her day. But lately I've just said no, because pretending to care when I don't is too much effort. Then she got all huffy because I "couldn't even feign an interest", which is true. It is too exhausting to feel or pretend to feel, so I tend not to bother.

ETA: So in the first situation, there are feelings but they don't feel real or coming from me so I don't experience them. (I find this improves when I become less stressed.) And in the second situation, there may be feelings, but it is too much effort to experience them so they stay buried or unexperienced. (I have yet to find anything that improves this situation.)

I don't know if any of that makes sense to anyone else, or if it was helpful for me to share, but I wish you all the best Nick

*Willow*

[UnhingedHick]

Originally Posted by WeepingWillow23

Then there's when I feel numb and it's more like the feelings are buried than they're absent. It's like I'm aware that I should feel X, but it's too much effort feeling, so I don't bother. This is usually associated with talking and socialising being too much effort too. So I stop using minimal encouragers, and my body language reads as less interested, and I talk less and I avoid people more, just because it's too much effort. An example would be, the other week my Mum bought some antique spoons in a flea market and she asked me if I wanted to see them. Normally I would, even if I didn't really care, because it is showing an interest in my Mum and her day. But lately I've just said no, because pretending to care when I don't is too much effort. Then she got all huffy because I "couldn't even feign an interest", which is true. It is too exhausting to feel or pretend to feel, so I tend not to bother.

ETA: So in the first situation, there are feelings but they don't feel real or coming from me so I don't experience them. (I find this improves when I become less stressed.) And in the second situation, there may be feelings, but it is too much effort to experience them so they stay buried or unexperienced. (I have yet to find anything that improves this situation.)

I don't know if any of that makes sense to anyone else, or if it was helpful for me to share, but I wish you all the best Nick

*Willow*

I think this is more sort of what i mean, yet i dont have to socialize i just feel like this anyway.
Thanks Willow.

Originally Posted by UnhingedHick

I dont have to socialize i just feel like this anyway.

It doesn't only happen when I socialise, but all the time for a bit. I don't know if that was clear? It was just also associated with not wanting to socialise; probably because I can sense that people aren't happy that I'm not coming across as interested and encouraging, so I know that I should make more of an effort, but I just can't seem to and so I isolate myself.

It does suck though I wish I knew of a way that improved it...

*Willow*

[Nobuddy]

Originally Posted by UnhingedHick

Not sure if this is even the right area, I have no idea where to put this. I suppose mods will move this if its totally wrong.
But I find a lot that I am emotionally numb but then I also feel like i have feelings inside that I cannot access myself or express because im to busy being numb? It's hard to explain, but does anyone else ever get this sort of thing?

-Nick

Please don't ignore me

[UnhingedHick]

Originally Posted by Nobuddy

Please don't ignore me

Hmmm? Who's ignoring you?

[Sometimes psychotic]

Originally Posted by Nobuddy

Please don't ignore me

Your first five posts don't show up until the mods approve them....