[brainman]

I've been having really bad thoughts about self harm and harming my family for the last 18 months, it has gotten really bad now. I've been hospitalized 4 times over the last 8 years for it, had the bad thoughts previous to the 18 months but meds cleared it up. I am currently on 80 mgs of Geodon, have been for two weeks and no positive results. I've been on Saphris, Fanapt, Serequel, Perphanazine, Navane, Haldol, and several other antipsychotics. I go see my PDOC tomorrow, does anyone have any good advice on what I should tell him and what antipsychotic might work? I've also been on abilify wh ich just made me manic.

[brainman]

Originally Posted by brainman

I've been having really bad thoughts about self harm and harming my family for the last 18 months, it has gotten really bad now. I've been hospitalized 4 times over the last 8 years for it, had the bad thoughts previous to the 18 months but meds cleared it up. I am currently on 80 mgs of Geodon, have been for two weeks and no positive results. I've been on Saphris, Fanapt, Serequel, Perphanazine, Navane, Haldol, and several other antipsychotics. I go see my PDOC tomorrow, does anyone have any good advice on what I should tell him and what antipsychotic might work? I've also been on abilify wh ich just made me manic.

I really need answers to this! I'm scared that I may never be normal again, what is the right medication regiment for this? I've tried without meds before and it left me feeling insane.

[Sometimes psychotic]

I'm not sure 2 weeks is long enough to tell and you've really tried the two general classes of anti-psychotics-----usually the next step is clozapine.....

[brainman]

I go see my pdoc tomorrow, do you think he will prescribe Clozapine?

[Sometimes psychotic]

Originally Posted by brainman

I go see my pdoc tomorrow, do you think he will prescribe Clozapine?

I'm not sure, you have to get bloodwork done with clozapine so often they want you to start it inpatient....it doesn't hurt to ask though....its sort of a miracle drug but it can cause a very rare side effect that can kill you so you have to get the bloodwork done or you can't even get a prescription----that's why its a last resort...

[brainman]

You have to be hospitalized to get it?

[brainman]

Also how much blood work do you have to do to be on it?

[brainman]

What do you personally think the doctor will prescribe me tomorrow?

[newtus]

Originally Posted by brainman

What do you personally think the doctor will prescribe me tomorrow?

its really up to him/her we dont know

[brainman]

Do you think I will ever get better? This has been really bad for about 3 weeks now.

[Sometimes psychotic]

Originally Posted by brainman

Also how much blood work do you have to do to be on it?

Weekly until you've been on it awhile then monthly for as long as you're on it....it's a lot but if it works then it's worth it...

http://www.clozapineregistry.com/res...ption.pdf.ashx

Originally Posted by brainman

I've been having really bad thoughts about self harm and harming my family for the last 18 months, it has gotten really bad now. I've been hospitalized 4 times over the last 8 years for it, had the bad thoughts previous to the 18 months but meds cleared it up. I am currently on 80 mgs of Geodon, have been for two weeks and no positive results. I've been on Saphris, Fanapt, Serequel, Perphanazine, Navane, Haldol, and several other antipsychotics. I go see my PDOC tomorrow, does anyone have any good advice on what I should tell him and what antipsychotic might work? I've also been on abilify wh ich just made me manic.

It seems to me that the problem isn't so much these thoughts, but the distress that having these thoughts causes you. Do you have a therapist? They could help teach you to accept the thoughts and that would dramatically reduce your distress. Just because you have violent thoughts does not make you a bad person or mean that you have to act on them.

Also we can't tell you what antipsychotic to take (and I'm not sure an AP would help intrusive thoughts, but you haven't mentioned what your other symptoms are so maybe it's for those?), nor predict what your pdoc will prescribe. All I can suggest is to tell pdoc what you wrote here and see what they suggest. Personally I would suggest therapy because it doesn't sound like meds have been much help for you in the past.

All the best

*Willow*

[brainman]

Sometimes I get so bad that I worry I will act on it. I know that deep down I wont that I have control but it still worries me because it gets so bad, do you think I will ever get better?

[brainman]

I go see my PDOC today, what should I expect from seeing him?

[manxcatwoman]

Originally Posted by brainman

Do you think I will ever get better? This has been really bad for about 3 weeks now.

I think you'll get better. Don't be afraid to talk to your dr. Just posting about your problems took a lot of courage.

I hope you feel better soon.

[brainman]

My PDOC uppped the mgs of Geodon to 120 mgs a day now. He said we may not stay on it that the antipsychotics may be making me worse and agitating D2. Is it possible the meds don't work the same for everyone and cause psychotic thoughts?

I mentioned something about intrusive thoughts to one of my pdocs and they told me antipsychotics will not help with that. So I'd say (my unprofessional and uneducated opinion) therapy, like maybe DBT would be the way to go.

[brainman]

So you're saying that Geodon will not help with my intrusive thoughts, antipsys have helped before but they don't seem to be helping anymore, who's your pdoc?

Originally Posted by brainman

So you're saying that Geodon will not help with my intrusive thoughts, antipsys have helped before but they don't seem to be helping anymore, who's your pdoc?

My psychiatrist is head of the main research groups for psychosis in this country.

Intrusive thoughts about self harming and harming other people sounds more like borderline or antisocial personality disorder over psychosis.

That's just my thoughts on that one symptom you described, I am in no way trying to diagnose you or anything like that as I'm in no way a professional.

[brainman]

Do you have any suggestions on what meds would work for this type of thinking?

No sorry, Antipsychotics really vary from person to person. I'm on Clopixol 150mg injection every three weeks and it's helping but you need to give your current medication a fighting chance before excluding it.

My other suggestion was that Therapy might help, you should enquire about it.

Good luck!

[brainman]

I'm having difficulty sleeping and I'm afraid I might act on my thoughts. I have horrible thoughts of harming my brother.

[Loial]

I've had some of these thoughts occasionally, backed up by my voices saying "your going to kill <x> ... well maybe not, but you might, ok maybe not... do it you know you want to... ok well no but still"

I'm glad my voices are very indecisive & don't see me as capable of doing it.

Unless you are ruminating on these thoughts, I don't think it is necessarily a problem. You do need to get seen soon though as it's not a good thing. I think mentioning I'd had these thoughts of harming people was what made my first referral so fast.

[brainman]

Do you think antipsychotics can make you worse? My pdoc said it could be agitating D2 receptors and that I may need to get off all the meds.