[robbi15]

Hello everyone, I had my mental meltdown over a year ago, I was diagnosed with brief psychotic disorder, i was on zyprexa, it didnt help, i was constantly having episodes where i thought people are conspiring against me and humilliating me. I stopped the meds without concerning my doctor, because i was misdiagnosed and that i didnt have schizophrenia...and surprisingly,the illness went away.
Few months ago I relapsed and my doctor put me on the zyprexa again.
Now, I m really confused about my current state. I clearly remember my episodes (where i didnt do anything stupid, i just had dillusional thoughts) and my dillusions and fear, and i know they are stupid and baseless, but still i cant shake them. for example, i know people arent after me and cant know my thoughts, but still i am afraid to go out and if i do then the episodes happen. I am also obssessed with thinking the worst of everything or explaining and putting everything into perspective. I also developed low self esteem and feel like i have lost my learned skills, and all i have left are bad memories. I am in constant fear, i also have hard time explaining myself or carryng out conversation, where, i was a charming and funny guy, now i cant find interest in anything. I also feel guilty always.
Now, am i schizophrenic, and are my current condition normal or should i ask my doctor to give me something for my current anxiety so that i can be less self aware.

I know i may not be making sense to you guys, but basically, i had brief psychotic episodes and now i am constantly afraid of losing it again and also obsessed with thinking and explaining thingp to myself. I am also afraid of going out even though i know its all inside my head and people cant know my thoughts.

Any reply is deeply appreciated.

[Angelique67]

Hi. How long have you been on the zyprexa? It should help with all of those symptoms.

Do you think you may hagve depression and anxiety too? An SSRI might help you if you do. Depression and anxiety are comorbid (correlated) with schizophrenia. Taking an antidepression med which also helps with my anxiety really balances me out. No more fears, worries, anxieties, and less depression. Talk to your doctor about it if you think you do.

Do you have a therapist you can talk to? It sounds like your experiences have made you doubt yourself and your ability to cope with life because you fear 'losing it' again. Your sense of who you are, your identity, can change when you become very ill, and it is worth working through that with a trained listener. Also they might be able to teach you ways to manage your feelings of anxiety so that it doesn't stop you going out and interacting. There is also the medication route if you prefer, so you could try a different antipsychotic?

All the best and welcome to PC

*Willow*

[Feline Frenzie]

I have schizophrenia and I know what it feels like to be in constant fear about losing grip again. I hope you can learn to talk yourself into giving up on that fear because the life you could-be-having is being held back by your fear. Once I learned to forget the fear, nothing could stop me.

[robbi15]

Originally Posted by Angelique67

Hi. How long have you been on the zyprexa? It should help with all of those symptoms.

I'vb been on zyprexa for 3 months. It helped me with my episodes. But thn anxiety, fear, uneasyness, guilt, and the feeling that i m responsible for everything thaw goes on around me are still there.

[robbi15]

Originally Posted by 0dysseus

Do you think you may hagve depression and anxiety too? An SSRI might help you if you do. Depression and anxiety are comorbid (correlated) with schizophrenia. Taking an antidepression med which also helps with my anxiety really balances me out. No more fears, worries, anxieties, and less depression. Talk to your doctor about it if you think you do.

Yes, i think i am suffuring from depression and anxiety too. I dont know much about the illness though.

[robbi15]

Originally Posted by WeepingWillow23

Do you have a therapist you can talk to? It sounds like your experiences have made you doubt yourself and your ability to cope with life because you fear 'losing it' again. Your sense of who you are, your identity, can change when you become very ill, and it is worth working through that with a trained listener. Also they might be able to teach you ways to manage your feelings of anxiety so that it doesn't stop you going out and interacting. There is also the medication route if you prefer, so you could try a different antipsychotic?

All the best and welcome to PC

*Willow*

I cant talk to therapist because, I have hard time even talking to my family. Is it because of zyprexa? I wish there were some medication to help me.

[robbi15]

I need help on how to cope with my constant fear and paranoia. Even though I don't get episodes, i am in constant fear and paranoia, I cant make conversation like I used to, I am filled with guilt and i feel uneasy around almost everyone around me, but I also feel agitated when alone, I cant enjoy anything because i m constantly thinking, I think people are always judjing me, I feel the need to explain everything to myself and at the same time am afraid of my thoughts because I think i shouldnt think anything bad because people might know them somehow. I am afraid of social gathering, my self confidence is reduced, i spend almost all day sleeping and when i am not sleeping i am worrying.
I could go on and on about my other phobia and worries. Can anyone tell me if these things will fade away with time or should i take any other medication besides zyprexa.

It sounds like you prefer the medication route, in which case you need to talk to a doctor about changing/increasing your antipsychotic, and possibly adding anti anxiety and/or antidepressant medications. No one here can tell you what med will magically fix everything for you because everyone is different. Also in my experience, meds aren't very helpful. But if you want to try that avenue first, then go and speak to your doctor.

Personally I live with similar symptoms everyday and what has helped me the most is taking the distress away from those things. It would be easier to learn with a therapist, but I learnt a lot from reading about my symptoms and self help stuff, since you don't want to try seeing a therapist. My goal is to try and live the life that I want to live despite my symptoms, so that means living with the fear and doing things anyway, not hibernating in bed all the time, but yes in an ideal world I'd love a magic pill that could make it all go away. And I hope that you find that, but you will need to see your doctor for that.

All the best

*Willow*

[robbi15]

Originally Posted by WeepingWillow23

It sounds like you prefer the medication route, in which case you need to talk to a doctor about changing/increasing your antipsychotic, and possibly adding anti anxiety and/or antidepressant medications. No one here can tell you what med will magically fix everything for you because everyone is different. Also in my experience, meds aren't very helpful. But if you want to try that avenue first, then go and speak to your doctor.

Personally I live with similar symptoms everyday and what has helped me the most is taking the distress away from those things. It would be easier to learn with a therapist, but I learnt a lot from reading about my symptoms and self help stuff, since you don't want to try seeing a therapist. My goal is to try and live the life that I want to live despite my symptoms, so that means living with the fear and doing things anyway, not hibernating in bed all the time, but yes in an ideal world I'd love a magic pill that could make it all go away. And I hope that you find that, but you will need to see your doctor for that.

All the best

*Willow*

I dont mind seeing a therapist but my doc hasn't provided me one.