[Generic_username123]

Well I guess I feel confused anyway but a part of me must feel a bit attached to the feeling that I'm being watched as whenever it all starts to go away I do mainly feel relief but there's also a feeling of what now? Like it was giving me some meaning or some weird thing. I don't know if anyone else feels the same and can explain it better than me?

Part of me feels like I'm looking for an explanation, it's really difficult to explain. It's a weird feeling. I think my CPN is right this all probably stems down to an innate feeling of loneliness.

I take my meds so obviously I would much rather be without the psychosis at the end of the day.

[Sometimes psychotic]

Yeah psychosis does feel special almost like you're the center of attention or very important...it can be hard to let go of that feeling.

[Generic_username123]

I am a extremely socially anxious person so part of me feels it is helping me in some way to get over that but of course it doesn't, it just ends up going the opposite way.

Originally Posted by Generic_username123

Part of me feels like I'm looking for an explanation, it's really difficult to explain. It's a weird feeling.

Just to let you know that's some of the reasons as to why some of us stop our meds sometimes. It can be overwhelming. It's a very powerful experience of the mind like a drug. And uh.. Drugs are bad..

I never really thought about it like that before but now that you mention it, I totally get that feeling. My delusions where that I was the centre, or at least a part of, an experiment and that I was being monitored very closely by an outside agency. I don't feel that way anymore and it's like a big part of my life is gone. It's hard to explain as I don't really miss it, but it's gone. I dunno.

[Generic_username123]

I don't miss it either but I get it was kind of confirmation that there was something wrong with me which justifies all the help I get from the mental health services. Maybe like the comfort blanket of craziness if that makes sense.

I don't take illegal drugs, I would never touch them.

[Shmooey]

Originally Posted by chickenfoot

My delusions where that I was the centre, or at least a part of, an experiment and that I was being monitored very closely by an outside agency.

Me too, and I hate hate hate being the center of attention, so I feel lost a lot of the time while I'm *in* the psychosis. If I come out of an individual meltdown that's just for a day or so, it makes me super tired and I sleep the whole day. I've been hearing voices again for the past two days, and now I slept from 8:30 last night until 8:40 this morning, took my meds, went back to sleep until 12:02 and then back to sleep from 1:30 until a few minutes after 5. I get worn out.

[newtus]

Originally Posted by chickenfoot

My delusions where that I was the centre, or at least a part of, an experiment and that I was being monitored very closely by an outside agency.

...thats how i feel/think