[A18793715]

It's one of my best friend friends. He's really nice. I went to hang out with my best friend and a mutual friend of our and this guy also happens to be mutual friends with them both. Everyone was just sitting around and we just talked about random things. The next day, we were talking online and out of no where, he pretty much asked me on a date to try to make me feel better. I went into complete paranoid panic mode for 3 hours. I couldn't calm down. Ever since last night, especially my visual hallucinations just got so much worse. It's never been this much. I'm out of my anxiety medicine until it gets refilled and that is the only thing keeping my sanity. Why am I so freaked out and paranoid that someone is being nice to me? I sat there for about 45 minutes playing out all kinds of possible paranoid motives. I even thought for a while that it was some kind of trap set up by my ex, even though my ex and best friend and hated each other since the beginning of our relationship. I can't calm down today. My brain feels like it's not connecting right anymore. Like. It's taking forever just to make this able for people to read and not just sentences with half of the words I thought I typed but didn't. Why is this happening? Why did a simple question make my hallucinations and paranoia spike through the roof?

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[healingme4me]

Not sure why you'd reach such heightened levels, yet, you've mentioned your ex and I'm guessing that is a very deep emotional wound?

[A18793715]

I have no clue. Everything has calmed down since I posted this. But when it happened, my brain just lost it.

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