[Jloca82]

Hello all! I'm 32 years old, mainly living with depression and gad most of my adult life. I recently discontinued lexapro which I had been on for 12 years because my husband said that I was like a "shell of a person" with little or no emotions and lack of interest. I still suffered from anxiety too so I thought, if the meds aren't helping why bother? Plus I'm trying to have a baby. Or at least I thought so. At first I felt great as I was tapering off the meds. Had confidence, more energy, thought I had beat my illness. Then after two months started noticing some tearfulness and anxious feelings. I started seeing a therapist thinking that would help cope. Then out of nowhere started having thoughts, at least I think they are, of racist slurs, negative things about people, scary intrusive thoughts that I never experienced. I began thinking I was nuts. I told the pdoc and therapist who reassured me I'm not schizo or bipolar but anxious so I started Prozac. I only lasted four weeks with that as it made me more anxious! I'm awaiting results from the gene testing because I had tried so many ssris in my lifetime that I'm very sensitive. So right now I'm just taking klonopin prn. I also seem to hear things when I'm trying to sleep at night, which I was told is a hypnogagic hallucination and normal. My father was 52 when I was born, my mom 44, I read that advanced paternal age is a cause for schizophrenia. Is it possible I'm developing it? Or that I always had it but the lexapro was masking some of the symptoms?

[Axiom]

It is possible, some of what you mentioned fits, but to me this sounds more like OCD or something anxiety related. I try to keep my eyes closed when I go to bed because of the increased hallucinations, they can be really annoying, but from what doctors etc. have said I'm pretty sure you need positive symptoms during the day as well (when you're not in bed or tired) to warrant a schizophrenia diagnosis. If you have anything going on that you're not telling them about, you should, but other than that maybe try not to worry so much about it being schizophrenia. And Lexapro is not an antipsychotic so it would not mask the symptoms sufficiently.

[Secretum]

It don't think you are schizophrenic; that sounds like textbook OCD to me.

Take a deep breath. You're going to be okay.

[CopperStar]

Another possibility to throw into the pot:

I am bipolar type 1 with psychotic features, and anti-depressants make me go absolutely nuts. I suppose that could get chalked up to being "sensitive" to SSRIs by a really incompetent professional. Messed up intrusive thoughts are like a hallmark of my episodes, too.

[Confusedabouteveryt]

Doesn't really sound like schizophrenia to me.You stated you have intrusive thought and that sound alot like OCD.

[Alone_and_Afraid]

I don't think it's schizophrenia. Yes, hallucinations falling asleep or waking up are normal.

[Alone_and_Afraid]

Also, my dad was 50 and my mom was 32 when I was born. I'm not diagnosed with schizophrenia per se. My diagnosis is like 'mild' schizophrenia. Just because of statistics doesn't mean you'll for sure get it. I'm sure you're fine.

[joshuas-mommy]

Maybe you have catatonic depression instead of schizophrenia.