Roll Call 63...

junkDNA · Sep 29, 2015 at 09:01 PM

Sometimes psychotic · Sep 29, 2015 at 09:39 PM

junkDNA · Sep 29, 2015 at 09:44 PM

work went well.. like way better than i thought. i feel happy tonight

Angelique67 · Sep 29, 2015 at 10:12 PM

Thanks for making the new Roll Call junkDNA.

Blue_Bird · Sep 30, 2015 at 12:54 AM

Please pray for my mom, she may have just had a stroke.

Sep 30, 2015 at 01:03 AM

So sorry to hear. I can't imagine how you are feeling. There's no way. Be strong for her. I hope she's ok.

Loial · Sep 30, 2015 at 01:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Please pray for my mom, she may have just had a stroke.

Sorry, I hopes she's going to be ok...

Sep 30, 2015 at 02:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atypical_Disaster

How do you know that you're delusional? I never know, when people tell me I'm "delusional" I won't lie I flip my **** at them if they just insist they're right and I'm wrong.

Also, I like your brain. Like, I think your brain and my brain have some kind of connection because your writing style on here totally reminds me of me just different details and circumstances but I always seem to be able to connect to your posts... I think it's cool to have a sense of connection I don't have that with other people often.

My mom and psychologist tells me when I'm delusional. My first psychiatrist was the worst. He didn't know that I was almost completely psychotic and I wouldn't let him know about what I was thinking because it was bizarre and weird and he said it would get worse if I don't take an antipsychotic.

I stopped taking the risperidone after a year for 3 months and then abused it. It was crazy and I wish I could remember. I was manic.. Or "A Maniac" autocorrect says. I'm constantly getting every bit of hedonia that I could. I don't remember that type of pain so I do it again. I had a year that was just fun. I was drinking heavily and manic every two or three days after I took 6-12mg of risperidone which I did so many times. I refused meds and then the paranoia.. It was insanely bad like the razor sharp edge of paranoia and finally took the risperidone a few hours later, booked another appointment for a week and got prescribed the Abilify and I felt myself getting better after 3 weeks.

I know myself when I start getting really weird thoughts like thinking that my mom is a toothbrush, that I'm 92 years old or something but I can't do anything about it. I tried so hard and then multiple times trying to get rid of suicidal thoughts never ever gave up and surviving was on my mind and I repeated over and over as a false belief. Or I let it effect my mood to where I can handle it (Depressed like state). It can get really strong but now it rarely gets passed my rule where suicide is not an option for me. My mom asks how I can have insight. My psychologist said that they're called "Fixed delusions". It's like some weird ability that doesn't matter because it doesn't change anything. It's like OCD and schizophrenia are on some sort of spectrum of insight and I can't explain it.

Zombie!! Jk that's cool that you connect well with my posts. I think it's our sense of humour and disguised sociopathy ^^. Bipolar or not, we get high a lot.. Ya I can't stop rhyming.. looked over at what I wrote in my notes but wow there's way too much to read.

It's amazing like wow. Blows me away. I would post some versus here but it's so offensive. I'm going to be mastering songs. Too many ideas and I can't control them. They come and go.

My mood is primarily environmentally based.

Blue_Bird · Sep 30, 2015 at 02:57 AM

The doctor called, she is talking and back to normal. It seems there was some sort of interaction with her medicine. I am so thankful she's okay!

Door2015 · Sep 30, 2015 at 04:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Please pray for my mom, she may have just had a stroke.

I'm praying for you and your mom, Blue Bird. I know what your going through. I'm so glad she's ok.

junkDNA · Sep 30, 2015 at 07:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

The doctor called, she is talking and back to normal. It seems there was some sort of interaction with her medicine. I am so thankful she's okay!

really glad she is doing better

Angelique67 · Sep 30, 2015 at 07:45 AM

I'm glad your mom is doing better blue bird.

newtus · Sep 30, 2015 at 08:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Please pray for my mom, she may have just had a stroke.

I will be praying. Sorry to hear...

Glad shes better!

newtus · Sep 30, 2015 at 08:19 AM

Morning.

I dont feel sick anymore. which is good but last night was a bit worrisome with my dad. I worry about moving to college with that going on. I love him. I wish things were different with other people in my life. like I wish my parents didnt drink. wish my mom wasnt mean to me and more of a mom. I really wish that a lot.

anyway. I had this weird dream that I converted to Catholicism. it was so weird...

newtus · Sep 30, 2015 at 09:06 AM

i feel anxiety today. might take my xanax.

junkDNA · Sep 30, 2015 at 09:13 AM

Blue_Bird · Sep 30, 2015 at 10:57 AM

Thanks guys! She's back now

junkDNA · Sep 30, 2015 at 11:42 AM

off work today

the sun is out!

Atypical_Disaster · Sep 30, 2015 at 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hyperagitate

My mom and psychologist tells me when I'm delusional. My first psychiatrist was the worst. He didn't know that I was almost completely psychotic and I wouldn't let him know about what I was thinking because it was bizarre and weird and he said it would get worse if I don't take an antipsychotic.

I stopped taking the risperidone after a year for 3 months and then abused it. It was crazy and I wish I could remember. I was manic.. Or "A Maniac" autocorrect says. I'm constantly getting every bit of hedonia that I could. I don't remember that type of pain so I do it again. I had a year that was just fun. I was drinking heavily and manic every two or three days after I took 6-12mg of risperidone which I did so many times. I refused meds and then the paranoia.. It was insanely bad like the razor sharp edge of paranoia and finally took the risperidone a few hours later, booked another appointment for a week and got prescribed the Abilify and I felt myself getting better after 3 weeks.

I know myself when I start getting really weird thoughts like thinking that my mom is a toothbrush, that I'm 92 years old or something but I can't do anything about it. I tried so hard and then multiple times trying to get rid of suicidal thoughts never ever gave up and surviving was on my mind and I repeated over and over as a false belief. Or I let it effect my mood to where I can handle it (Depressed like state). It can get really strong but now it rarely gets passed my rule where suicide is not an option for me. My mom asks how I can have insight. My psychologist said that they're called "Fixed delusions". It's like some weird ability that doesn't matter because it doesn't change anything. It's like OCD and schizophrenia are on some sort of spectrum of insight and I can't explain it.

Zombie!! Jk that's cool that you connect well with my posts. I think it's our sense of humour and disguised sociopathy ^^. Bipolar or not, we get high a lot.. Ya I can't stop rhyming.. looked over at what I wrote in my notes but wow there's way too much to read.

It's amazing like wow. Blows me away. I would post some versus here but it's so offensive. I'm going to be mastering songs. Too many ideas and I can't control them. They come and go.

My mood is primarily environmentally based.

Disguised sociopathy, LMFAO. I'm not a Sociopath but I am diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, hence the attitude teehee smirky.

I do the rhyming thing a lot like when I'm talking to the dot demon/demon dot. Like wtf even if that sorcery I can't hahaha.

I'm not bipolar, though I was misdiagnosed with it because of my thyroid being a witchy *****y thing. That was superfluously annoying as hell. I should ring a bell that calls BS next time some asshole psychiatrist doesn't rule out something physical first and gives me meds that don't help that could make me dead yo.

Insight is a weird thing, I first got it in 2013 and it's in and out, mostly out with that **** unfortunately. I have no idea I'm "delusional" or whatever until someone tells me what the point of the time is not. But eh, life is life.

I used to wonder if I was sociopathic/psychopathic because my affect is so blunted because of my Schizophrenia that I often perceive myself as feeling nothing at all but I do have feelings, just can't access that most of the time and my feelings are Narcissist feelings so yeah it's different. I like being different but I wish the demon dot would not talk in my ear it's boring broken record like the book of world records of boring. I guess it's good that I'm not bothered too much by said demon dot but still it makes me wonder about my status as far as collapsing into an insignificant point on a parallel line that intersects thing. My thoughts fling me back and forth and I'm just riding through it like a wave. Bye? No I have nothing to do today and I ordered a new cell phone it'll be here tomorrow thank **** the one I have is falling apart. Calling people yeah that's not working my phone keeps dropping my calls and **** but I don't drop my phone, and when I did drop it hello shock proof case. Don't touch high voltage stuff not only will it kill you it'll hurt the whole time you're dying.

Atypical_Disaster · Sep 30, 2015 at 11:50 AM

I changed my custom user title to Zombie Goddess I thought the zombie thing was awesome lololol.

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Roll Call 63...

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junkDNA Comfy Sedation junkDNA endless ocean landing on an endless desert Member Since: Sep 2012 Location: the woods Posts: 19,299 (SuperPoster!) 8,182 hugs given	Sep 29, 2015 at 09:01 PM #1 __________________

Sometimes psychotic Legendary Wise Elder Sometimes psychotic Typo queen ! Member Since: May 2013 Location: Chicago Posts: 26,363 (SuperPoster!) 22.8k hugs given	Sep 29, 2015 at 09:39 PM #2 __________________ Hugs!

junkDNA Comfy Sedation junkDNA endless ocean landing on an endless desert Member Since: Sep 2012 Location: the woods Posts: 19,299 (SuperPoster!) 8,182 hugs given	Sep 29, 2015 at 09:44 PM #3 work went well.. like way better than i thought. i feel happy tonight __________________

Angelique67 Legendary Wise Elder Angelique67 has no updates. Member Since: Oct 2014 Location: USA Posts: 22,054 (SuperPoster!)	Sep 29, 2015 at 10:12 PM #4 Thanks for making the new Roll Call junkDNA.

Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Blue_Bird is ready for recovery! Member Since: Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 35,997 (SuperPoster!) 14.2k hugs given	Sep 30, 2015 at 12:54 AM #5 Please pray for my mom, she may have just had a stroke. __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi

Anonymous37841 Guest Anonymous37841 has no updates. Edit Posts: n/a	Sep 30, 2015 at 01:03 AM #6 So sorry to hear. I can't imagine how you are feeling. There's no way. Be strong for her. I hope she's ok.

Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Blue_Bird is ready for recovery! Member Since: Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 35,997 (SuperPoster!) 14.2k hugs given	Sep 30, 2015 at 02:57 AM #9 The doctor called, she is talking and back to normal. It seems there was some sort of interaction with her medicine. I am so thankful she's okay! __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi

Angelique67 Legendary Wise Elder Angelique67 has no updates. Member Since: Oct 2014 Location: USA Posts: 22,054 (SuperPoster!)	Sep 30, 2015 at 07:45 AM #12 I'm glad your mom is doing better blue bird.

newtus The Dopamine Flux newtus has no updates. Member Since: Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 877 hugs given	Sep 30, 2015 at 09:06 AM #15 i feel anxiety today. might take my xanax. __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

junkDNA Comfy Sedation junkDNA endless ocean landing on an endless desert Member Since: Sep 2012 Location: the woods Posts: 19,299 (SuperPoster!) 8,182 hugs given	Sep 30, 2015 at 09:13 AM #16 __________________

Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Blue_Bird is ready for recovery! Member Since: Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 35,997 (SuperPoster!) 14.2k hugs given	Sep 30, 2015 at 10:57 AM #17 Thanks guys! She's back now __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi

junkDNA Comfy Sedation junkDNA endless ocean landing on an endless desert Member Since: Sep 2012 Location: the woods Posts: 19,299 (SuperPoster!) 8,182 hugs given	Sep 30, 2015 at 11:42 AM #18 off work today the sun is out! __________________

Atypical_Disaster Elder Atypical_Disaster has no updates. Member Since: Mar 2011 Location: Nowhere noteworthy. Posts: 7,142 7,431 hugs given	Sep 30, 2015 at 11:50 AM #20 I changed my custom user title to Zombie Goddess I thought the zombie thing was awesome lololol.