[robbi15]

Hi everybody, it's been while since my last post. So, for those who don't know, I have been diagnosed with schizophrenia in 2013. I was on zyprexa which made me feel even worse, so I changed my doc and the new doc gave me Abilify 15 mg along with benzo. I have been jumping back and forth from 15 to 10 mg abilify for last couple of months. I gotta say, I felt little better on abilify, I thought that I finally found a drug that worked for me. But it was well and good while I was inside my house 24/7, isolated from the world. But, since now, I am back in college to finish my education, I am facing a LOT of problems.(I am currently on abilify 15 mg and an antiparkinsons drug whose name I forgot) First of all , I am always nervous and agitated, I am so nervous and afraid in college that I can't even speak properly, I find it hard to find any word to convey my thoughts and I also find it hard to express my emotions. I am terrified of meeting any people, I like to stay at home, isolated, but even when I am alone, I feel terrified just thinking about going back out there next morning. I have stopped communicating with my old friends. It's been a few months since I started college. When I was starting college, I thought I will get better after a few months of exposure. But it is exactly the opposite actually, I feel like I am getting worse.
So, my main problems right now are : I am always anxious, I am afraid of talking to or even thinking about meeting with people (especially of opposite sex). I can't speak properly, my speeches are slurry and unclear and I lack emotion while communicating with people. My eye contacts are poor. I lack the energy to do my homework and assignments and all. I feel like I have become extremely dumb. I feel insecure aways because of my conditions. Plus there are bullies who take advantage of my condition at college.
So, what should I do right now ? I have lost too many years because of my illness already... this my last shot at finishing my education. But because of my problems, I am unable to attend college and socialize with people. So, should I stop my meds? are these side effects of abilify? Should I quit college and try for something else ... something which requires little bit less of interacting with people. I am going through hell right now... each day feels like a year. I just don't wanna face anyone anymore. I am too exhausted mentally. What can I do to feel better.

[ofthevalley]

I wouldn't suggest quitting your meds without talking to your Pdoc. Maybe online classes would be more beneficial. I hope you find a solution soon

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