Roll Call 64

Yay! Good luck.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Schizoaffective, PTSD, Anxiety

Yes, thanks, it's not a good situation. Oh well. I'll get the prescription on Tuesday. Hopefully going without it for 3 days isn't too bad.

I can't help but feel some of my ability to retain or recall things has declined. In the past I've always been quite good at knowing the meanings of words & circumstances in which to use them. However, recently whilst reading I find myself unsure of words which I have come across before & also feel even though I look up stuff I'm unsure of, I don't seem to grasp it in the same way or commit it to memory.

I've done a lot of reading over the past couple of months since I came off APs, but I feel that I am not engaging fully with what I am reading. I doubt I could readily recollect a lot of what I've read.

This disheartens me... I feel I'm not firing on all cylinders despite being medication-free & having comparatively few symptoms now. I guess perhaps my psychosis is still lingering on in subtle ways. Perhaps also there is the fact that successive bouts of psychosis are more likely to leave lasting changes. My CPN told me that perhaps I would never be the same as before my first episode of psychosis and now it seems another episode may have had further impacts.

Who knows, I certainly like to think I could get back to the way I used to be but I guess only time will tell.

Loial - psychosis can have lasting changes on your brain. correct me if im wrong but i heard it reshapes your brain or the way the synapses fire. something like that. but it does leave lasting changes. can they be changed? idk. perhaps.

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

i took a bath , i didnt even bathe myself i just laid there and thought a lot and ended up crying. i feel like such a freak for getting this upset about a promotion. shouldnt promotions be good news? i am just so scared of messing up and failing. not being able to handle it. getting too stressed out. T texted me that he has complete faith in me. im gonna do it , and maybe the intense fear is just for the anticipation. maybe once i start training i will feel better and more confident

I think you'll be great in the new job. Go for it!

Delighted for you hun! I hope it goes well!

what do you guys do about any ocd related tendencies you have in or with schizophrenia? i mean i have religious ocd but i also have thoughts that call people names and wish harm on people and i keep saying to myself out loud "dont say that!" or "stop" and it wont stop? are these voices? they wont stop.

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

No, they're just intrusive thoughts. I have that, and have since I was a child. I know I'd never act on those thoughts so it doesn't bother me too much.

thanks. i always want to act on them but i dont but i do sometimes but the menial stuff like locking the door 3 times or 7 times. odd numbers.

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

Does your pdoc or therapist know about the door locking stuff?

yea i told her a few months ago.

i also learned that medicare only pays for 45 min of therapy not an hour. sucks.

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

They never give you a whole hour anyway. I think that's pretty standard across the board. What did she say?

i dont remember. it was a few months ago.
but i guess i have nothing to fret about with the 15 extra minutes.

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

you vape right? angelique
someone here said they did.

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

Yes! You were my inspiration!

i went to the store cuz i wanted fresh pineapple. i barely got thru the parking lot. everyone was staring at me. like seriously, when i got out of my car there was a girl right there staring at me. it was BS because when i was inside my car i was trying to tell myself that no one cares about me that much to do that. then bam i get out and this girl is there. honestly it made me angry. i decided to go for it and go inside but once i got in there i heard people whispering about me. i just left,,, i dont want pineapple that bad.

my battery and wick get really hot. idk whats wrong. i find myself having to turn it off everytime i take a hit on my ecig.



it gets hot on the blue part and the tank. i take about 3-5 hits each time and then been turning it off. it gets really warm almost hot.

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

theres people that whisper about me when im alone in the house. does your T know?

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

Mine get very warm too if I vape a lot at one time. I wish I could use a subtank but my lungs could never handle it. If it ever gets too hot, try to put it in a non flammable contained like a sink but don't put water on it. Water is bad for venting batteries.