[Jupi]

Don't think that I'm good enough for her. Think that she could do better. Maybe should call this relationship thing off because I'm not happy relationship material. Only cause pain.

She said that she only have a boyfriend for a year anyways. So I'd probably be history in a year.

Might be best for me to stop trying to be happy when I can't be happy. I can't feel those things. Only fear, pain and anxiety. Always think that I would live homeless though that is nothing. People live homeless and are starving everyday. So that would only be fair If I starve too. Would be balanced.

She asks me questions. I can't make her understand me and I can't compromise with some important needs and wants that she has. I mean if I had money, she could have some or most. If it make her smile. Or other stuff that I have I will offer.

My head is messed up with me. I'm sitting on her bed thinking about dying to solve it all. All of my equations equal death. It must be the answer. Why am I doing this life thing? Pursuing is not for me. Don't have roads to or ways to go. Just me standing on a rock with a deep abyss around and beneath it so that I can't move.

Shouldn't I just go home and not see her again and disappear from her life?

[Skeezyks]

Hello Jupi: I send warm thoughts your way with the hope that you will be able to find your way off of that rock & through the abyss. I don't know as I have much to offer, with regard to your relationship with this lady. But, as the saying goes... "nothing ventured... nothing gained..." So, if she is willing to hang in there with you, perhaps you might hang in there as well, & see where your relationship goes. Yes, at some point in the future, it may come to an end. That's always a possibility with any relationship. We never know what the future may hold. The most we can do is to live in the now.

[mynamesblurryface5]

Hi Jupi. I think sometimes I can relate to your post. I have a boyfriend right now who I love more than anything. The voices in my head used to constantly tell me that he deserves someone better than me. They said he didn't really love me.
I thought about breaking up with him, because I thought he'd be much happier without me. But as selfish as it sounds, I didn't and I don't think I will because I've never been so happy than I am when I'm with him.
Don't run away from love because you think you don't deserve it. Everyone deserves love, everyone. Life is nothing without love, and if you think your life is nothing right now then you don't have enough love in it. Don't give up on her, try to be your best for her. If you think she deserves better than be better. I try every day to push my demons away and be the woman my boyfriend deserves.
Sending love your way! Hope all goes well.

[NoId]

Well if she is your girlfriend I'd expect that you would have bought her flowers and that was wearing jewelry that you bought her. You would put your arm around her sometimes. She'd never laugh but she would appreciate your compliments. And you would appreciate her perspective but she would be quiet most of the time.