Magical suspicions, but I dismiss

I'm not delusional, but it is like delusions are swimming just beneath the surface. The delusions keep surfacing, but as soon as I become aware of this, I dismiss them. I think I have been like this for the past several years, but I have only recently realized that it might not be normal.

Does anybody have an opinion?

For example, I went to the therapist today, and I felt very hopeful afterwards. Then a thought came into my mind that the therapist had cast a spell to make me more hopeful - or maybe she hypnotized me and told me to remember a false session so I would not worry about having been hypnotized.

I also have had bad dreams lately, and a thought came into my mind that demons are trying to brainwash me in my sleep.

I don't remember being this way until after I had a breakdown, but maybe I am simply paying more attention to my mind. I have always tended to think outside the box. Maybe my brain is working the way it has always worked, but the magical explanations seem more plausible after the breakdown?

When I get depressed or don't get enough sleep the weird ideas bother me more. I know there is no evidence that spells or demons exist, so why do these thoughts keep popping-up?

Hi X123, if you don’t mind, may I ask what is your diagnosis? Maybe I can give a better opinion if I know what your diagnosis is. But in general, I think every breakdown makes us feel worse (and yes, me too). We got overwhelmed by it and making our self as good as we are before the breakdown is a really tough job. As far as I can see from your story, I can tell that you can handle your bad thoughts quite well. By this I mean, even though you have a negative thoughts you still can use your logic, proven by your ability to dismiss them (even if they keep coming back after you dismiss them). You don’t believe them just like that. I adore that you always think outside the box, because in my opinion, it resembles creativity, and when you are creative, you can find many ways to help yourself. Weird ideas bother me as well anytime I get depressed and don’t have enough sleep. I am sorry if I can’t help much, I hope you feel better soon.

I don't think anybody has diagnosed me. I didn't get any psychological help when I had the breakdown, but several years later I described the problem to a therapist. She thought it sounded a little bit like a mild form of delusional disorder. I researched a little and the closest I could find was "brief reactive psychosis". There were lots of hallucinations and delusions, but they mostly lasted for only two weeks and dwindled. But I continued to have sporadic hallucinations for several years. Now my problem seems to be mostly magical thinking. Sometimes I think people on the internet are clairvoyant or casting spells to drain my energy in the morning and other weird things. I hate those thoughts, but they keep coming back.

This breakdown was in 2009, and I'm still not back to normal. I used to think that I had fully recovered psychologically and was simply struggling with the memories. Lately I've been wondering if these magical thoughts indicate a continuing problem. I don't remember having thoughts like that before I had the breakdown.

Then I said you should meet another experts and ask for their advice about what to do now, especially if this situation starts to bother your daily activities. We shouldn’t self-diagnose our own issue. Even if you aren’t suffering from any mental illness (which I hope you are not) I think it is okay to ask for a professional advice once in a while. It’s better to prevent than to cure any illness. But if you think you still can handle it, and those thoughts that you have are not bothering your daily life, then maybe you just need a time for yourself, try to relax and do your favorite things. Eat well and sleep well too so you have an energy to think clearer. Take care, i hope you feel better soon

Magic is very real,so are spirits,demons,I've been covered in demons before and all i could feel see was this black literal fog over me,it was agonising,but unless you know people who dwell in that realm like I do,I don't think the spell happened.
People believed in magic for the last twenty thousand years,sorry but the sudden disbelief is what's strange to me.

Yes many people are delusional , but without any clinical significance. The problem for you , I perfume you have a psychotic illness , is that your symptoms point to general dysfunction.

Believing in those things makes life a little trickier. If a person doesn't believe then that is one less thing to worry about. If a person does believe then he/she must discern hallucinations and delusions from spirits and magic. If spirits and magic are real, they probably can induce a psychotic state in the experiencer. That person might experience psychosis and psychic phenomena at the same time. It would be hard to discern. Regardless of what is truly reality, it is simpler to be a skeptic.

I agree with what you say about knowing people. I have heard that spells require lots of effort. People don't invest that much effort unless they care about the person. My therapist might theoretically cast a spell on me, because she cares about helping me, but she has many patients besides me. So even if my therapist knew how to cast spells, and even if spells worked, she probably wouldn't have the time to invest casting spells on me.

I hope believing in magic and spirits is working well for you. I don't fault you for believing in those things. I have memories that might make me believe, but then I become paranoid about every little thing. If a sock is missing from my laundry, I begin to suspect somebody is using magic to tease me. Hopefully you have more discernment than me - I'm sure you do actually.

I don't have a psychotic illness anymore. It was a brief thing several years ago. I was never diagnosed or treated either. A therapist told me about psychosis only after my illness was gone. These superstitious paranoid musings are the only problem I have. Usually I can dismiss them, but sometimes they are all I can think about. If I sleep or get some exercise, then they seem to go away.

I am trying to learn cognitive behavioral therapy. One of the thinking mistakes mentioned in my workbook was "emotional thinking". For example, a person might be angry about being angry or worried about being worried. I notice the superstitious thoughts make me angry at myself. I am angry about being worried. This is a mistake according to CBT, so I am going to not be angry or disappointed with myself. I will simply try to get some rest or exercise.