Roll call 81

Hey erti... glad to see ya!! How are you? Are you feeling any better??

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I'm feeling a little bit better. They tried a couple of medication. Thorazine didn't work and tried Holdal and it had worked better than the Thorazine. On 15 MG twice a day.

Hi Erti! I have been wondering how you are.

I've been getting kinda paranoid at night lately

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Ahhhhhhh. My tv broke . I don't even know what to do I keep reaching for my beloved remote control. I like the noise more than the shows

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Schizoaffective, PTSD, Anxiety

Internet and cable down for me until at least Thursday. I could go to my grandparents house, because they have wifi, but I don't want to be a nuisance

Maybe you could watch channels on your computer?

My internet is back!

You guys should get a credit on your cable bills for the days you paid for but can't access now.

At the nutritionists office. Got about an hour till my appointment. Free WiFi, yay! How is everyone?

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Welcome back Erti!

I'm alright thanks. How are you blue_bird?

Morning. Hope everyone has a good day.

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Schizoaffective, PTSD, Anxiety

I'm doing good, thanks the appointment with the nutritionist went well

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i got paranoia level 75% last night. i walked through my house about 7 or 8 times with an ice pick. i kept hearing noises and think someones in my house or trying to get in. at least i am able to walk around and check it out and confirm no ones in here. it still comes up though when i hear a new noise and have to do the walk thru again. i smoke outside on my screen porch but last night i smoked 2 cigs in my bedroom because i was too scared to go outside. my screen porch has a lock and is not easily accessible but i still felt too nervous abt it. i slept with teh ice pick sticking out from my mattress just in case... it helped me feel a little safer.

im not sure if this is bc my roommate has been gone (shes gone somewhere with her fiance for 9 days) or if its bc i increased my vybriid dose. the vybriid has made me psychotic in the past at a higher dose... i finally feel like i am crawling out of this 3 wk depresssion so i am hesitant to lower it back to the original dose. also i see my NP on the 23rd and i know she wont be happy with me messing with my meds on my own. i dont tell her a lot of things so maybe i just wont mention it... im a bad junkDNA!!!

Junk I've been like that when in the house alone since I was younger. I also won't go outside in the dark without someone with me, and I'm 27! I'm only now sleeping without music playing to cover up sounds. When I hear a plane pass over I get this sinking feeling in my stomach of pure dread. I remember waking up one morning and there was a chainsaw going off in one of the nearby fields, I just had flashes of leatherface in my head, I was freaking out!!!

I think these kinds of thoughts can just be ingrained in your personality if it's not new for you. If it's new to you and you're usually fine then it'd be something to mention.

Lolz I was just thinking to myself , i've being sane since all the time ive being here, no one here has actually experienced me insane, awkward though , hell yes...

need to find some inner peace. im too focused on other people in my life that its pretty much doing me in for the worse. its best to find some inner peace with yourself and not to depend on other people so much, ive learned.

becoming so social in the past year and a half has me depending on other people more and has me less in touch with myself.

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

Hi, newtus! Those are good things to learn. You (general you) have to go through a lot to realize that, and I'm really glad you did. ((((((Newtus)))))

Brought my daughter shopping for school. It was a test of wills. I'm not feeling the most stable right now so being in public was tough. I swear everyone knew there was something wrong. Now my son I'd cutting grass but once he's done I have to bring him to the store too. Ugh
I hope everyone is having a better day.

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Schizoaffective, PTSD, Anxiety

My pdoc appt went surprisingly well! He was ... moderately supportive of my being off meds. Warned me about relapse, and to be mindful of symptoms. He let me keep my Ativan, and gave me a new sleep med. He questioned me on my weight loss (I suppose if I'm honest I've been relapsing with my eating disorder, but not ready for help with it) but let it go for now. Overall I'm pleased how it went.