[Twistedmoneys24]

Define please? Is it a dulsion to feel like your being followed and watched? Not anyone specifically just the feeling in general

[21stCenturySM]

No that's paranoia. A delusion is believing something irrationally. Some of mine in the past were that I was the king of a small nation, under surveillance by the c.i.a. and more.

[Twistedmoneys24]

Is paranoia considered psychotic

[21stCenturySM]

Depends on the extent of it. If you're just looking over your shoulder and watching people, then not really. But if you're writing down license plates and believe people are reading your thoughts in public, then yes. Speaking from experience.

[Twistedmoneys24]

Like to the point that people are watching me spefically through the camera to find dirt so they can fire me its always different i fight with my better half cause i always feel like shes cheating on me n it comes n goes i feel silly after the episode but its real at the moment like sometimes i cant even go outside its almost like having a real bad pot trip

[Twistedmoneys24]

Another example more recently is if i dont have my knife i feel like ill be attacked and robbed

[Twistedmoneys24]

Or the thing currently bugging me that always does that happens all the time ill hear people talking bout me then ill confront them n it always gets denied ...that has gotton me into alot of fights

[21stCenturySM]

Sounds familiar to me. I always carry a knife. But I'm delusional and I accept that. You sound paranoid, but disclaimer, I'm no doctor or T. I wouldn't say that's delusional, just extremely paranoid.

[21stCenturySM]

Originally Posted by Twistedmoneys24

Or the thing currently bugging me that always does that happens all the time ill hear people talking bout me then ill confront them n it always gets denied ...that has gotton me into alot of fights

Now that sounds a bit like psychosis, or delusions, doesn't mean you're psychotic, just maybe a med adjustment is needed, or you can talk to me.

[Twistedmoneys24]

Yeah it gets bad today hasnt been horrible but its always when im just outta earshot ..does psychis come and go for you?

[Twistedmoneys24]

Do you ever have haluctions?

[21stCenturySM]

Yes it does. Has since I was 13 or maybe before that and I'm 31 now.

[21stCenturySM]

I hallucinate 24/7. I hear voices all the time, and I've been on meds forever. I also get visual and tactile hallucinations such as I see a man named 5 who helps me and a woman named 9 who gives me hell and an alien named zubox who sends me information through beams of light.

[Twistedmoneys24]

Wow you see all that on a day to day? I think most my stuff is mood realated alotta times ill see the walls breath and the floors ripple like the air above it when i got clean i started getting alot of weird thoughts sometimes they sound like me but i didnt think them there tye most constant thing most the time its just nonsense

[21stCenturySM]

I don't see that stuff all day, but some of the day. I do hear voices all day though.

[Twistedmoneys24]

Thats a little more relatable its unwanted thoughts for me that happen all the time does your medicine make it go away?

[Twistedmoneys24]

....well and the walls breathing but that doesnt bother me lol ...was it scary talking to somone bout this in person when you went to the doctor?

[21stCenturySM]

Originally Posted by Twistedmoneys24

Thats a little more relatable its unwanted thoughts for me that happen all the time does your medicine make it go away?

My meds help, but no they don't make it go away. I've been on almost everything, and this works the most.

[21stCenturySM]

Originally Posted by Twistedmoneys24

....well and the walls breathing but that doesnt bother me lol ...was it scary talking to somone bout this in person when you went to the doctor?

Yeah it was, but that was 17 years ago. I was 14 and they kept misdiagnosing me and putting me on bs meds. I've been hospitalized 13 times at 4 different hospitals, one of them being the state hospital. Not a good place to be.

[Crazygrl882]

I have what my doctor says is delusions which is believing cameras are always watching me, that others can always see what I'm doing on my phone and like my phone is tapped..... the government knows what I'm doing on my phone and computer (and the NSA admitted it right?). I also believe I am in the wrong dimension because the Berenstein bears are spelled Berenstain here and I just can't figure it out. I can't believe any of this isn't true.... my doctor says it's delusions. He says I need to tell myself it isn't true but it is true. He just hasn't figured it out. That's what I think. I also think some other stuff but am too afraid to write it out of fear that it's going to be read by someone and associated with me and this will make me watched.

[Twistedmoneys24]

Idk if its just me or if it has something to do with whats going on with me but do either one of you get extremly vived horror scenes just like beamed into your head and then feel the need to watch a scary movie

[Crazygrl882]

I get horror scenes in my head all the time and then I get scared. I've always thought I should write them down and write a book. But no I don't watch scary movies afterwards. It would probably make it worse and this isn't very pleasant.

[Twistedmoneys24]

Idk lol i must be odd then because they dont scare me i actually kinda enjoy them somtimes other times there just a distraction i feel like it should bother me but it happens everyday so its probly better that it doesnt

[Twistedmoneys24]

Very rarely do they scare me n when they do its because of my own thoughts about it

[neodoering]

Originally Posted by Twistedmoneys24

Define please? Is it a dulsion to feel like your being followed and watched? Not anyone specifically just the feeling in general

Delusions cover a lot of territory. There are paranoid delusions, like suspecting that the people around you are listening to your thoughts to report you to the police if you think anything negative about the president. Or there's the one where the apartment manager is taking your picture on the sly, to sell your children to the Chinese government (didn't say it makes sense, only that it's paranoid).

There are delusions of grandeur, like thinking that when you're dreaming you're actually convincing the Chinese to pull out of Tibet. Or while you're asleep you're learning to play piano, but of course when you get near a real piano, you can't play it (surprise!). And my favorite, that the people of the world are getting together a billion dollars just for me, because my struggles with mental illness have so impressed everyone that they want my life to get better.

And then there are the weird delusions, like feeling that everyone is faking it but you. You are in the Truman Show, and all the people around you are supporting your false mental illness by talking in certain ways and saying certain things that mess with your head, to keep you sick. The cops are paying them all, to get proof that you are planning to blow up a bunch of cops in the future.

Those are some of the delusions that I have experienced. There are more, and every few months a few of them go out of circulation while new ones appear. Medication has had a small effect on these buggers, but nothing is very good at controlling them. I write them into stories and share them with friends, which is entertaining for people who have never experienced delusions and is empowering for my mentally ill friends, who see what it's like for me.