[VanGore28]

In 2012 I had a really bad psychotic meltdown. My first was way back in 2005. I thought it would never ever in a blue moon happen to me again but BOY I was wrong.
I will skip to the main part. I had a smear test with a nurse who also conducted a general health check. She was a little discriminative, as I was just dressed down in jogging gear, I had so much stress on my plate I didn't bother dressing smart. She said some unprofessional, a little hurtful things like I must be eating too many crisps as I was a touch on chubby side when on the scale but I am not anywhere near fat.
She was presumptious in other questions like drink and drug use. At the time I was tee total but she put in I drunk regularly as If I was a tracksuit wearing hoodlum.
The procedure was also a lot more uncomfortable than the lady who did it before but chances are I was in more of a sensitive state.

BUT the best part -

I wrote a scathing letter of complaint to the management. It was well written except I got the date wrong but ayway.
I was slowly sliding into psychosis.
And after they replied to my first letter, they said that I really upset the nurse which I didn't consider at all I was just kicking out at the world. My family were taking me for granted, my works boss was a tyrant and my ex made me feel an inch tall so I was ANGRY

But I had lost the plot in the second letter. I had decreased my medication so I had more energy and I wrote that I was sorry and didn't intend to cause upset, and that

"I was reporting them to the world health ombudsman!" WHAT.

I couldn't even remember doing it properly, I had completely crossed the line. I am humiliated thinking about it.
I had to see a doctor at the surgery and he couldn't hide the fact that he wanted to laugh because my first letter was so audacious I'm telling you.
I am sorry that I did it at someones expense though.

There is no going back for me now. I was talk of the town, some people thought it was absolutely hilarious where as others thought I was a heartless b***h. But I wasn't well when I wrote them both.

Hi VanGore,
I really don't understand why she was talking to you like that. She seemed very disrespectful to you. You had a lot going on at the time and It was just a letter. I wouldn't worry about it too much. You did apologize, that's really all you could do. The nurse wasn't 100% innocent herself ,maybe it will make her reconsider how she speaks to people in the future. Please don't be so hard on yourself.

[neodoering]

VanGore;
I hate psychosis. I believe all kinds of wild stuff when I'm out of my mind. Sure people are plotting against me, think I am God, see cops trying to kill me, voices telling me it's time to commit suicide. I'm glad you came through it without attacking anyone physically, or harming yourself. What caused the episode? Did you go off your meds, or reduce the dose? More stress in your life? Gotta watch those stressors! I hope you don't have any more of those attacks. It's sad that you lit into the nurse, but she must deal with mentally ill people all the time, and she'll get over it.

I really enjoy reading about other people's symptoms; it makes me feel less of a freak. They say there are 10 million severely mentally ill people in America, but you don't meet them that often. Thanks for finding the courage to share your experiences!

Forgive yourself.

[VanGore28]

Yeah i cut down my medication. My grandad died. I split from partner of seven years. Had to live with unwell gran who was a nightmare. So i was stressed too ! I was on verge of losing first decent job id had. Lots happened at once. Ill never not take meds again learned my lesson the hard way