[scar12346]

I am a minor. Sucks to be me because my life is not in my hands.. mother doesn't believe that I need help and when going to my doctors, they don't want to help me.. So what to do? How do I get help when I am on the edge of murdering someone just for fun. But here is the problem. Just so I don't kill someone I start self-harming. Great, mam sees my hands and instantly blames ME for feeling off.. Okay, fine, I cry myself to bed a few days and then just start doing things.. out of the "ordinary" so then guess what happens? The question "Are you okay?" comes up. Yeah no I am trying to suppress the extreme urge of just strangling someone. I also have a list of how to hide someone's body. Just in case I have my whole funeral ready, my arm looks.. extremely deformed, you put the blame on me.. yet again when I want help you say I don't need it?
Look I am not mad at my mother, of course you know if your child has a health problem you will just tell them to deal with it so why send them to hospitals right?
I am getting a scholarship from school, guess what! It's not going to a psychologist because oh why would I need that! Just a waste of money for someone to finally fu.. deciding to listen to me! No! It's going in my mother's account for an emergency. You know, just in case my funeral turns out too damn expensive or we wait till I am 18 and mental hospitals are not free for me anymore.
So do I go to the extreme, or is there another way to get sent for help.
it's like wanting water but being sent to a desert to deal with the thirst... gotta love logic..
Sorry for the sarcasm I am feeling a bit moody.

Not sure how it works where you live, but here if you go to the hospital and say you're suicidal and/or homicidal, they will probably admit you.

[scar12346]

Originally Posted by scaredandconfused

Not sure how it works where you live, but here if you go to the hospital and say you're suicidal and/or homicidal, they will probably admit you.

Nope, not working if you are a minor. Still need a parent to admit you and even if I could, I would need to travel a day to get there, by then.. yeah.. it will be too late.

[greentires4me]

do you have a relative you can trust who can admit?

[Victoria'smom]

In my state your school can admit you. They may threaten your mom with medical neglect if she trys to stand in the way.

[passionfruit3]

A school can admit you if you talk to a school counselor but i dont know if it is what your looking for hospital stays are usually temporary unless you go long term

[scar12346]

I have tried with everyone. No one believes that the problem is there. Years of masking it just ruined everything..

[hobo2000]

Originally Posted by scar12346

I am a minor. Sucks to be me because my life is not in my hands.. mother doesn't believe that I need help and when going to my doctors, they don't want to help me.. So what to do? How do I get help when I am on the edge of murdering someone just for fun. But here is the problem. Just so I don't kill someone I start self-harming. Great, mam sees my hands and instantly blames ME for feeling off.. Okay, fine, I cry myself to bed a few days and then just start doing things.. out of the "ordinary" so then guess what happens? The question "Are you okay?" comes up. Yeah no I am trying to suppress the extreme urge of just strangling someone. I also have a list of how to hide someone's body. Just in case I have my whole funeral ready, my arm looks.. extremely deformed, you put the blame on me.. yet again when I want help you say I don't need it?
Look I am not mad at my mother, of course you know if your child has a health problem you will just tell them to deal with it so why send them to hospitals right?
I am getting a scholarship from school, guess what! It's not going to a psychologist because oh why would I need that! Just a waste of money for someone to finally fu.. deciding to listen to me! No! It's going in my mother's account for an emergency. You know, just in case my funeral turns out too damn expensive or we wait till I am 18 and mental hospitals are not free for me anymore.
So do I go to the extreme, or is there another way to get sent for help.
it's like wanting water but being sent to a desert to deal with the thirst... gotta love logic..
Sorry for the sarcasm I am feeling a bit moody.

Don't act on those urges or do anything ignorant to harm yourself or someone else. You could have some type of OCD with Psychotic features "plus" tendencies to Self Harm. You should go to the ER immediately and tell them you are having these types of thoughts and get medicine and see your talk therapist ASAP. I hope you find a way to get through to your mother and learn to cope with your anger in a healthy way. I'm sorry you feel this way.