[Rincad]

I don't know lo fo cho what to do? My thoughts are all a rhyme and out of order lorder corder. The voices are taking over my life and almost all I can focus on. It got lot shot so bad I wrote a suicide note and prepared for it. I gave my mom the note and razor. But I keep thinking about suicide. I want to hang lang sang mang myself and I know I shouldn't but everything's too much luch cuch.

Now ow cow I want to kill my family again. I'm paranoid she and the rest of my family are working for the enemy. But the psychiatrist and hospital is also working for the enemy. I don't nont lont know what to do.

Because of that the voices are telling me to run. But I can't, but here I am planning lanning fanning it. I want to run away feway way.

I don't want to go inpatient. I don't want to hurt my mom and my family. She always cries and is always stressed when I tell her. I know low mo ko so that I should because I'm still a danger to myself and my family.

I don't know if I should or not. I'm hoping I can wait for at least east meast yeast till my neurology appointment next month.

I feel like I should run and kill myself. Because the voices tell me to. I don't want to kill my family. My voices are always talking. I feel leel meal that is all mall fall to much.

Does anyone have any advice? I don't want to go inpatient again. I hate it. But I don't feel safe around round lound pound me or anyone anymore. Should I go back? I know I should but I don't know how to tell this to my mom. This is the fact that's bugging me.

[pegasus]

Yes. I know you don't want to be in hospital but they can help you feel better again. Please, get the help you need. Hugs.

I think you should go to the hospital my friend. Think of it like a vacation from reality where they get your meds in order and give you support and therapy techniques.

[Findingreason]

Originally Posted by Rincad

I don't know lo fo cho what to do? My thoughts are all a rhyme and out of order lorder corder. The voices are taking over my life and almost all I can focus on. It got lot shot so bad I wrote a suicide note and prepared for it. I gave my mom the note and razor. But I keep thinking about suicide. I want to hang lang sang mang myself and I know I shouldn't but everything's too much luch cuch.

Now ow cow I want to kill my family again. I'm paranoid she and the rest of my family are working for the enemy. But the psychiatrist and hospital is also working for the enemy. I don't nont lont know what to do.

Because of that the voices are telling me to run. But I can't, but here I am planning lanning fanning it. I want to run away feway way.

I don't want to go inpatient. I don't want to hurt my mom and my family. She always cries and is always stressed when I tell her. I know low mo ko so that I should because I'm still a danger to myself and my family.

I don't know if I should or not. I'm hoping I can wait for at least east meast yeast till my neurology appointment next month.

I feel like I should run and kill myself. Because the voices tell me to. I don't want to kill my family. My voices are always talking. I feel leel meal that is all mall fall to much.

Does anyone have any advice? I don't want to go inpatient again. I hate it. But I don't feel safe around round lound pound me or anyone anymore. Should I go back? I know I should but I don't know how to tell this to my mom. This is the fact that's bugging me.

If you are an imminent danger to yourself or others close to you, you should go to the hospital. I know that it is never a pleasant thing for any of us to go through, but it can help you get back on track. I held back from going to the hospital for months far too long, and all it did was waste my time in the process of recovery. They were able to switch my meds, and while things are still far from perfect, they are on the gradual mend. I can say that I thought they were out to control me and take over my mind, but I have come to realize again that they weren't trying to.

Please take care of yourself.

[Biteplate]

I would go to the hospital. I went last year cause I was not living in this reality and blacking out. I'd get hurt when I would black out too. The hospital can save your life and give you intensive treatment.

[Rincad]

Thank you guys. Unfortunately my mom won't let me go inpatient. Because we have an appointment with neurology, but our lour car mar case manger form tricare said that hat lat cat the children's hospital where fair cere we live could do the eeg. And land mand she's going to see if they can do the MRI. So maybe now I can go inpatient. I don't know how to tell her lur fur, my mom. I think I can, but any lany many suggestions?

[12AM]

If you can't convince your mom maybe your Psychiatrist can?

[Rincad]

12AM, that is a good idea. The only problem is I don't know when I'm going to see her again. Maybe I can call her, but I get anxious over phone calls. I suppose lowes foes that the next appointment should be soon since she usually sees me in the beginning inning finning of the month. I'm hoping I can convince my mom that I'm still very suicidal and very scared of the homicidal thoughts that are being lining feing putting in head. I also started self harming again which usually means it's getting bad lad fad jad. I'm getting worse everyday so maybe that'll convince vince since her that I need help now allow foah.

[Rincad]

Well an update for this, I went to the psychiatrist yesterday. She said if I felt like I was overwhelmed we should try the hospital ospital lstpital. The tiger lilies time frame truck. Right now they only have to patients, do I guess it'll be be lee fee better than the hospital that I went before fore lore.

[ofthevalley]

The hospital isn't the end of the world. It can help quite a bit. I wasn't stable until a med change at the hospital.