Need help to decide what to do

I have a meeting with my rehab pdoc and nurse on Wednesday, which I cancelled over a week ago because I do not want to talk to them anymore. However, they've ignored my wishes and kept the appointment slot open. I'm thinking about not attending still, but I'm wondering if they will screw me over more if I don't go? What do you guys think??

Wow that's really long! Sorry guys, but it's a complicated story and I want you to have all of the info to decide what's best.

*Willow*

I think that if you don't "play the game" they will do what they want. You need an advocate other than your parents, to help you mediate.

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-.../#.WYd69dHTWhA

Does this help at all?

Thank you Little Cat! I see what you're saying, but these people are already doing what they want. They are keeping me IP despite them admitting that there is no risk to myself or others simply because I have a diagnosis of treatment resistant sz. How is that legal in this day and age??! My solicitor says it isn't, but it's hard to win. I'm tired of their lies. I'm tired of their abuse. If they think my life is a game, well, I don't want to play it with them anymore

A couple of people have suggested getting an advocate, but the last time I had one, they were completely useless. Besides, I don't want them to listen to my advocate, a complete stranger, I want them to listen to ME! :/

*Willow*

Why do your parents have to attend the meetings? If you don't want your treatment team talking to them, you have that right and it should be respected. Anyway, you are an adult.

Have you been declared incompetent?

This is what they do best. Once they read the chart from a previous doctor they won't challenge the diagnosis. Unfortunately once they see the label it is all they see. Isn't this called cognitive bias?

You could comply, even though you don't agree, and keep your distance from the staff and other clients and remain quiet at the same time until they release you.

I an absolutely empathize with your desire to refuse the meeting. However, if you do this, you will never know what was said and discussed there. You will only be informed of the outcome later. If you are okay with this, then thats okay. But if you attend, you can at least hear whats said. And at this ctitical time while decisions are being made, i would personally take the opportunities to be viewed as actively participating in my own care. For mself i would expect this to help me be viewed positively, and i would want to do anything to get out. Thats just me though. Good luck!!

Thank you for replying Didgee and Gr3tta

My parents were initially invited to the meeting, but since I banned staff from talking to them, they are no longer invited. I have not been "declared incompetent"; not sure what that means for the UK - maybe lacking capacity?? Idk? But my pdoc did say my "insight and capacity are gray areas"; whatever that means. But they say they will respect my wishes not to talk to my parents. Though the issue was everyone colluding behind my back, that's what I object to.

Yes, it is.

I'm just worried that they will see my compliance as permission to continue treating me in such an appalling way or something. I find this whole farce offensive! I do not deserve to be locked up like a criminal!!

Thank you.

Since my parents aren't going to be there, I don't really care what my nurse and pdoc say to each other. They already talk behind my back at their review meetings that all the staff attend.

Yeah, I see your point. I would email my solicitor about it, but he's away on holiday until after the meeting. But I imagine he would recommend attending because they're always going on about my 'lack of engagement' and they could use it as 'evidence' that I won't engage in the community, which is what they keep saying.

I just object SO MUCH to the way I'm being treated and I'm worried that attending and 'engaging' with their BS will make them feel that it's not such a big deal and I don't really care that much. Not attending sends a clear message that I'm not happy about the way I've been treated. But, at the end of the day, I just want whatever gets me out of here ASAP... Idk...

How do I make them see how badly they've treated me? How much they are failing to understand me? That they need to treat me like a human being who deserves their respect and kindness?? I don't know how to make them see me, understand me. I don't understand why they are getting it so wrong??!

*Willow*

Some more reading material https://www.bma.org.uk/advice/employ...pacity-toolkit

Does the UK have the equivalent of an obudsmann, who is a patient advocate? At the psych rehabilitation center where I used to work at, the phone number for the Ombudsmann office was on a poster next to the public phone. It may be helpful to feel that like there is a patient advocate who is objective to your concerns.

Thank you Little Cat. I have read the capacity info before previous capacity meetings. It depends on the SOAD (how open minded they are, how well they listen etc) whether they deem me to have capacity or not.

Thank you Bukowski. We have advocates, but I don't know about ombudsmans. Are they the same thing?? I will see how the meeting goes and consider getting an advocate. It's just that they were completely useless last time I tried one, and I'm pretty assertive with them already so I don't know if it will help make them understand...

*Willow*

I've decided to go to the meeting. Thank you for all of your advice! I'm really not happy about it, but they will use it against me if I don't go

ETA: I've asked for the back story on my OP to be deleted as I'm worried that they will find me here.

*Willow*

I hope it end up well. I am sorry I didnt have any advice, I dont know how things work where you live.

Crazy, inside and aside

"Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance."
I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison-

I think that is the smartest thing. Never cut off your nose to spite your face! I really hope it goes well. Good luck to you!!

I hope it goes well for you.

Thank you Oliver, Gr3tta and Miguel'smom

So I went to the meeting today. It went as well as I expected it to go. The pdoc completely gaslighted me! Apparently the reason that I believe that staff think I'm a freak isn't because they actually said that to me and they do treat me that way, oh no, because they wouldn't possibly do that! It must be because I'm a 'paranoid schizophrenic'. F***ing b*****d!

*Willow*

I'm sorry your meeting didn't go well.

Schizoaffective, PTSD, Anxiety

Thank you Valley, Oliver and Sometimes for the hugs

*Willow*