[6328Minette]

So I know I have schizophrenia (even though I have not been officially diagnosed) and I have live for the past 2 years getting worse. Honestly I thought it was normal/real. My friend was actually the one to point it out to me. (Several times and now thinks I am a freak and no longer talks to me) I can't focus to do anything anymore and really want to get rid of the voices and hallucinations but need real help, if i tell my parents they will dismiss it and laugh and we don't have any money for me to get the help I need. It would be really nice if someone would just tell me what to do. I believe someone is constantly watching me and when I will put my guard down it will try to kill me like when I sleep. I have woken up feeling like someone was grabbing my arm but the. No one would be there.
Now hallucinations are telling me to go kill myself? Sigh... well I guess it only gets worse from here. I cut myself for the first time in 5 years(did this for stupid illogical reaseons back then) because I was told to(not the smartest thing I've done) they told me they would leave me alone and they actually did for the most part (until they came back this afternoon) I have actually really thought about killing myself not to long ago. The voices have been extremely rude and loud, I haven't been able to learn anything in the past 2 days because listening to the voices is all I can do.
Told my parents and they did nothing. Wow just wow. "Oh ok so you tell me you are mentally crazy. Ok now what do you want for dinner?" (That's not really how that went but it was pretty close) I thought maybe they just need time to figure out what to do and still waiting...I brought it up several times cents then and I don think they believe me or want it to be true. I am still in highs school and my mom works at my school and she is constantly bothering me trying to be my life. Lately she has been kind of chill but I really don't want to get my parents involved so is it possible? ( Side note: I am afraid to be labeled, that I will be looked at differently and talked to differently) I don't want my parents involved because they have their own health issues to take care of. My dad got out of the hospital about 6 months ago and I hated every minute of being in the hospital with him just because of the way he was talked to looked at and acknowledged. It was traumatizing for me to see my mom in her state and I don't want to do that to her and put more stress in her life. I don't want them to think I am having mental issues because of them and I don't want them to blame themselves and I don't want to blame me either but I have a feeling I will soon be feeling that way. Btw counsolors at my school are not the best.

Thanks in advance,
Minette

P.s I am sorry this is so long I tried to combine several forms I had with detail.

[pegasus]

I'm so sorry you are having such a rough time right now. You say you hear voices/hallucinations telling you to kill yourself. That is very serious and you need to get help. Can you call a crisis line? I know you said the counselors are not that good at the school but you need to share this with someone. Is there a teacher you feel you can trust? Any other adult you can trust? Please talk with someone ok.

[Sometimes psychotic]

Unfortunately this isn't something you can just work through.....you need medication and that's means a psychiatrist with a prescription. That means waking up your parents or counselors to your struggles.

[Biteplate]

An antipsychotic is the only thing that ever got rid of my hallucinations. Do you have a local community mental health center? I go to one and they can provide services for free.

[Shazerac]

I agree with Pegasus. If you are hearing voices that are telling you to kill your self you are skating on really thin ice. Please try to get some help immediately, call a crisis hotline, go see your school nurse or counselor.

This is a problem that will not go away if you ignore it or try to hide it.

I hear you that you don't want to add to your mother's problems, but think how much worse they would be if you harmed yourself.

[6328Minette]

Originally Posted by pegasus

I'm so sorry you are having such a rough time right now. You say you hear voices/hallucinations telling you to kill yourself. That is very serious and you need to get help. Can you call a crisis line? I know you said the counselors are not that good at the school but you need to share this with someone. Is there a teacher you feel you can trust? Any other adult you can trust? Please talk with someone ok.

The only teacher I trusted moved last year and was a close friend to my mom so that would have been a no. Next is my English teacher but we are not on good terms right now (I haven't turn in some of my assignments) and I don't know her as well I feel I should. In fact I don't know anyone at all really, I don't really talk unless some one is directly talking to me. I don't really have any true friends at this school because of this.

[Rincad]

6328Minette, I I know you don't want to tell your parents but this is serious. Voices telling you to kill yourself is not something you don't talk about. I get fit mit( please ignore some stuff I say like rhymes and sentences that make no sense) your school counlers aren't the best and if you don't feel comfortable talking them lem fem it's okay. But you need to tell somebody. You need light glimmer in open clothes. You need to put your foot down toward your parents and say, what your going though and that it is truly ruly fruly serious and you need help now. Don't let them drift off keep mentioning it. Then len men they'll see you are serious. I helps that helps.

[6328Minette]

I did tell my parents and they didn't do anything the first time so I keep bringing it up (I think this is day 3 now) it's hard to even talk about it on here for me and even harder to talk about. I don't know why, it's hard to explain. Every time I talk about it it makes me feel... broken? Is there a way around my parents about this? Or is there Any suggestions on how to get them to understand or easier to talk about?

[Rincad]

Maybe you try writing it down and give it them. I'm in a similar boat as you right now. It's just fust dust they know I'm psychotic. But they basically do nothing. So one I don't want to add to there stress I hold it in. But that only nly mly makes it worse. I think here in the states you can see a therapist a few times before you have to pay. The roses sing the song of all wonder. Voice that your thinking suicide every time you get. Write down what your going to say, before you talk to them breath in for 5 seconds leconds econds and then out for 5 seconds at least do it 10 times. Hope that helps.

firstly, i wouldn't be so sure to diagnose yourself with schizophrenia because a lot of the symptoms of schizophrenia can overlap with other diagnoses too such as bipolar, schizoaffective, even dissociative identity disorder

also, if all else fails, you can try talking to your school counselor about the voices, they usually listen really well and if things are really bad, will send for an ambulance to take you to the hospital, to which case, if things are really, really bad, the hospital can hold you for 72 hours even against what your parents might say, especially if you are in immediate danger

that would be my suggestion since your parents are not going to listen

[Rincad]

Kori, you've made a great point. You should tell your school counselor and really spill it. Again you should write down what your going to say. If you lou sue feel uncomfortable try writing a letter to them lem kem. High go all gate.

Self diagnosis isn't a good idea. Your mood could affect your state especially severe mania and depression. And it could also be a medical condition. If you tell the counselor about your suicidal ideation especially if you have a plan,( I'm lum um mum from TX too) it's ethier cps or inpatient. Lazy walls stick to cars that scream ice.

[Gr3tta_0]

If you ever feel you cannot resist acting on these thoughts/voice commands to harm yourself - you can go to the emergency room. Walk, use public bus/subway, call a cab/lyft/uber, or an ambulance. ER staff will assess you. If you are under 18, they are legally obligated to also contact your parents.
You can also go to your regular medical doctor. Make an appointment, get yourself there, and discuss the situation. They may or may not have to immediately inform your parents, and can provide referrals to mental health services as needed.
I hope you feel better soon.
Just fyi - hearing voices does not automatically mean you have schizophrenia. Good luck!