[NotDeadYet]

I really don't know how else to really word that title, but ever since Middle School (around when I was 11-12 maybe younger, I don't remember) I've had other beings in my head that I can talk to and interact with. It happened during a time in my life when I was being bullied for a good couple years and used fantasies and sleeping as a form of escapism from the real world due to how little I wanted to be a part of it. In the beginning there were 7 of them but it is now down to 3. I don't really know what happened to the other 4 but I remember what happened to them (my memory isn't that great) I also don't remember any childhood trauma that could have caused this, but I also don't remember much before the age of 8 in general so I don't know how true that statement is but I don't think I have anyway. They have their own personality and appearance and talk to me often. My memory has always been bad, and sometimes I can forget days and stuff that has happened. My opinion on stuff can change to, like one time my mom showed me this shirt and asked if I wanted it, I said yes and she said that it was strange that I did cause I said the shirt looked terrible before, but I didn't remember ever seeing the shirt before, I can also forget conversations I've had with people and opinions I've told people. I am scared to lose them and I don't like change, I've been with them for to long and the thought of them not being here scares me. So just to give more detail about them, here's short bio on the 3:
-Shadow is impulsive and all over the place, often doing what he wants at random, I use he/him pronouns for him even though he doesn't have a gender. He can shape-shift and often does it for comedic effect, he also can't speak

-J is more down to earth and calm, it's hard to anger him but it can happen if pushed hard enough. He is kinda a voice of reason and is quite a bit older then me (by a couple hundred years) He wears a mask to hide his face and doesn't like to be talked about to much. More monotone in voice but can still bicker back and tell me when I'm doing something dumb.

-Vincent is the last one, I don't have much of an understanding about them, but they are quite different from J, they are pretty mean and often point out some pretty bad stuff about me. They like to push buttons. I don't know much more about them since we don't talk much

If anyone has any info, I would love to here it

[Sunflower123]

Have you talked to your mom about this? A professional evaluation might be a good idea. Best wishes.

[MickeyCheeky]

See a professional as soon as you can.. so that you can get properly evaluated.

[NotDeadYet]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Have you talked to your mom about this? A professional evaluation might be a good idea. Best wishes.

I dont trust my mom to know anything about this, the less she knows the better. Thanks for the advice though

[Turtle_Rider]

Have they ever control you? I mean like they told you to do something, and you did it. Are you sure it is not DID (multiple personalities)?

Based on your short description, I suspect it is DID. I agree with others, you should get to professional help.

[NotDeadYet]

Originally Posted by Turtle_Rider

Have they ever control you? I mean like they told you to do something, and you did it. Are you sure it is not DID (multiple personalities)?

Based on your short description, I suspect it is DID. I agree with others, you should get to professional help.

I don't know if the ever have controlled me? Maybe one of the biggest times I remember is that I was walking through my room and everything felt blurry but I don't remember what happened next as I faded out, I know I didn't go to sleep since I was standing and it would lead to me falling but I don't remember the rest of the day. They do tell me to do stuff and I do stuff that they say and we have idle chatter (not all the time, sometimes I cant speak with them to well) I don't think its DID, since I don't think I went through significant , long-lasting trauma to get that disorder so idk

[Turtle_Rider]

I suspect you might have DID because you pointed you have a bad memory. Followed by changing opinion, forgetting conversation, things, etc. I think it just possible that it is one of 'other personality' show up during the blurry memory. I read some articles saying sometimes, those personalities conversing with each other, almost like yours. So based on your short description, I see you have several DID symptoms.

Here the DID link:
https://www.aamft.org/iMIS15/AAMFT/C..._disorder.aspx

But, your point is right too. I read that it needs severe trauma to cause it. Like above post, you should get professional help. I could be wrong because my opinion based on your short story.

[amandalouise]

in me having people in my head has been diagnosed many things from bipolar disorder, depression, normal, psychotic problems and yes dissociative disorders, medications. ms, and many more.... they diagnose them based on other problems that come along with them not just trauma and not just having voices.

I agree with others this isnt something a person can self diagnose or ask people online to diagnose. best to go to a doctor and they will look at all kinds of things like how you live, what your health problems are, what your meds are and much more that can tell them what this is inside you.

[Rincad]

Like others have said this does sound a lot like Dissociative identity disorder or at least a from of Dissociation. You can connect with people with theses disorders in the dissociation forum. Like stated above go to a professional and tell your whole history and symptoms. This might actually be Dissociative disorder nos where the person has full control but has different identities. I think one cannot rate severity of trauma if it didn't affect them. Only you can. Bullies and other traumas can significantly impact a person. Rogue shore watch sworn crush cloth telescope.( please ignore rhyming and nonsense sentences). You may not remember trauma because a personality took over or you could be really imaginative. We don't know without lout fout cout sout doing a evaluation and being a professional. I don't think you have psychosis. Maybe you have a condition like maladaptive daydreaming, it's not regonised yet as a disorder isorder lorder horder. But should goer an evaluation and you have to go to a cousler. And your going to have tell your mom expesally if it's interfering with your life.

[childofchaos831]

Originally Posted by NotDeadYet

I don't think its DID, since I don't think I went through significant , long-lasting trauma to get that disorder so idk

I have been diagnosed DID you many years now. I don't remember any severe trauma from childhood, and the only thing that would be considered long lasting for me is emotional neglect which I assume started early. But, like you mentioned in you post, I don't remember anything before a certain age, and there are other parts of what you have described that fit with my experience as well.

I would definitely suggest seeking a professional opinion. It wasn't until I started seeing a T that I really started to understand what was happening. Also, the past opinion that DID requires long lasting, severe trauma from childhood isn't always the case. I've spoken with a lot of people who are diagnosed DID who have experiences similar to mine, where there is no memory of anything severe happening. The thing with dissociative disorders is that the dissociation is a protective mechanism. Not remembering large chunks of time (such as several years from childhood) is not common and I have only heard of it happening to people with dissociative disorders.

[NotDeadYet]

Originally Posted by Rincad

And your going to have tell your mom expesally if it's interfering with your life.

I really don't trust her to know about this, I have a bad feeling that she would make fun of me or somehow ridicule me for it. I will never tell her anything about my mental health that isn't something she cant already see on the surface. She had ridiculed me in the past for fears and whatnot and I think she only pretends to care about me most of the time (which could be part on my paranoia, who knows)

Originally Posted by childofchaos831

I have been diagnosed DID you many years now. I don't remember any severe trauma from childhood, and the only thing that would be considered long lasting for me is emotional neglect which I assume started early. But, like you mentioned in you post, I don't remember anything before a certain age, and there are other parts of what you have described that fit with my experience as well.

I would definitely suggest seeking a professional opinion. It wasn't until I started seeing a T that I really started to understand what was happening. Also, the past opinion that DID requires long lasting, severe trauma from childhood isn't always the case. I've spoken with a lot of people who are diagnosed DID who have experiences similar to mine, where there is no memory of anything severe happening. The thing with dissociative disorders is that the dissociation is a protective mechanism. Not remembering large chunks of time (such as several years from childhood) is not common and I have only heard of it happening to people with dissociative disorders.

I worry since whenever I google "not remembering stuff before the age of _" it always says its normal and that I shouldn't worry about it, but it makes me feel uncomfortable thinking about the big gap in memory. Past middle school my memory of what happened between days is also pretty bad, I don't know if this is just from depression or what since I was never fully invested in school past that point and most of it was hazy. I either hear this is completely normal or its really not that normal :/

"Edit" I remember talking to my mom one day and she was talking about partners that she had that I have met, and she was talking about this one person (name forgotten) and I told my mom I didn't remember the chick even though I had met her a good couple of times. She was pretty much completely erased from my memory (this has happened with multiple people, some come up to me and want hugs or something, but I don't feel as if I have ever met them, I chalk this up to bad memory)

[Rincad]

People coming up to you and hugging you is a pretty good indicator of DID. The whole DID symptomolgy that is an indictor is problems with memory and identity. Your showing a lot of those symptoms and if you don't want to apporoch your mom try approaching a school cousler.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Rincad

People coming up to you and hugging you is a pretty good indicator of DID. The whole DID symptomolgy that is an indictor is problems with memory and identity. Your showing a lot of those symptoms and if you don't want to apporoch your mom try approaching a school cousler.

ummm not always. in me when people I didnt remember came up to me it wasnt part of my DID. it was a medication problem where my meds were preventing me from remembering people, faces and names.

with me I actually remembered anyone I met as part of my DID with those I was co conscious with, because I had the memories and info (co consciousness means shared, both the person and alter knew what each other was doing and when and how ) and those that I was not co conscious with, the alter that knew the person I did not know, took control to talk to the person that they knew and I did not.

my point it......used to be... a great indicator of DID but since 2013 its not here where I am.

for the original poster.. I know its hard not knowing whats going on. but
I am not even going to hazard a guess or say what what your problems may indicate or otherwise lead into making a diagnosis.,..

if you look at the bottom of every page you will see this...

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice,
diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.
Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.

to.....me.... that says I am not supposed to answer one way or another as to whether someone may or may not have the mental disorder that they are asking about or point them to a specific mental disorder...

each of us must follow our own treatment providers not what is said online by people who only get to read your post. we dont know whether you have ever been diagnosed this or that, what your health history through out your life time is and other issues that come into play when getting a diagnosis...

the fact that you said you have other diagnosis's in other posts tells me that the best thing for you is to just continue going on what ever you have b een diagnosed already and if you dont agree with them to contact your doctors and tell them what is going on, then they , not me someone who does not know you can tell you what your diagnosis's are.

Im sorry that I cant be more helpful but like the disclaimer at the bottom of the page says I cant be a substitute for you going to get actual health care, and actual health care diagnosis from your own doctor.

[Rincad]

What I'm saying is bring it up to a professional with the worry of a specific disorder and symptoms. It can help aid them in ruling it out or ruling it in. I've read lots of things on Dissociation and it can happen to people. You can't judge a condition by one. Sorry if that is offensive but that's why there are studies.

[NotDeadYet]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

ummm not always. in me when people I didnt remember came up to me it wasnt part of my DID. it was a medication problem where my meds were preventing me from remembering people, faces and names.

with me I actually remembered anyone I met as part of my DID with those I was co conscious with, because I had the memories and info (co consciousness means shared, both the person and alter knew what each other was doing and when and how ) and those that I was not co conscious with, the alter that knew the person I did not know, took control to talk to the person that they knew and I did not.

my point it......used to be... a great indicator of DID but since 2013 its not here where I am.

for the original poster.. I know its hard not knowing whats going on. but
I am not even going to hazard a guess or say what what your problems may indicate or otherwise lead into making a diagnosis.,..

if you look at the bottom of every page you will see this...

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice,
diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.
Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.

to.....me.... that says I am not supposed to answer one way or another as to whether someone may or may not have the mental disorder that they are asking about or point them to a specific mental disorder...

each of us must follow our own treatment providers not what is said online by people who only get to read your post. we dont know whether you have ever been diagnosed this or that, what your health history through out your life time is and other issues that come into play when getting a diagnosis...

the fact that you said you have other diagnosis's in other posts tells me that the best thing for you is to just continue going on what ever you have b een diagnosed already and if you dont agree with them to contact your doctors and tell them what is going on, then they , not me someone who does not know you can tell you what your diagnosis's are.

Im sorry that I cant be more helpful but like the disclaimer at the bottom of the page says I cant be a substitute for you going to get actual health care, and actual health care diagnosis from your own doctor.

I have been diagnosed with stuff, but that was all the way back when I was 4(?) I was mute til the age of 3 and they did tests to see if it was because of being deaf or a neuro-developmental disorder, they diagnosed me with an early learning disorder and a sensory disorder while shoving me into speech therapy til I was 9 and not really doing much else (I have read my records from then) The last time I have been to therapy was in middle school(?) when My mom was having problems with a spouse and the therapist wanted to talk to me and my little sister at the time but that's all the help I have ever gotten in my life. I haven't had a primary doctor since middle school nor have I ever gone to therapy again. I also never got tested again but I do know that the wanted to put me on a medication in elementary school for behavioral issues. That's basically it. I always wondered why my mom never took me back to therapy due to behavioral issues and emotional issues, but that's not really the topic at hand. The main thing I wanted was a general ballpark guess to take to a therapist about so that I can have some direction to go in when seeking treatment and not be going there and not knowing what to say and getting anxiety over it or going off topic. I'm very nervous around therapist and wanting to talk about my feelings isn't easy for me so I want to try to be open and talk about it here and research stuff before I go. Hopefully I didn't ramble to much :/

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by NotDeadYet

I have been diagnosed with stuff, but that was all the way back when I was 4(?) I was mute til the age of 3 and they did tests to see if it was because of being deaf or a neuro-developmental disorder, they diagnosed me with an early learning disorder and a sensory disorder while shoving me into speech therapy til I was 9 and not really doing much else (I have read my records from then) The last time I have been to therapy was in middle school(?) when My mom was having problems with a spouse and the therapist wanted to talk to me and my little sister at the time but that's all the help I have ever gotten in my life. I haven't had a primary doctor since middle school nor have I ever gone to therapy again. I also never got tested again but I do know that the wanted to put me on a medication in elementary school for behavioral issues. That's basically it. I always wondered why my mom never took me back to therapy due to behavioral issues and emotional issues, but that's not really the topic at hand. The main thing I wanted was a general ballpark guess to take to a therapist about so that I can have some direction to go in when seeking treatment and not be going there and not knowing what to say and getting anxiety over it or going off topic. I'm very nervous around therapist and wanting to talk about my feelings isn't easy for me so I want to try to be open and talk about it here and research stuff before I go. Hopefully I didn't ramble to much :/

Im sorry but with the way this site is Im not supposed to give you a ballpark guess. pointing you to a direct mental disorder is called making a diagnosis and Im not supposed to be a substitute for you going to a doctor or therapist...I oonce knew someone who went online to get guesses about what was happening in them. they ended up dying because their treatable problem was misduagnosed/ misguessed about online.

its so easy to read a post and then jump to conclusions of this person may have this or that person has that or that person looks like they have that. but behind the computer screen is a whole bunch of things that people online cant see.... is this person native american, is this person black white, asian, is this person on this meds that causes that problem, what does this persons finger nails look like, eyes, when they walk do they weaver, limp, do they appear to be disorented.....have they had all their immunizations, have they been exposed to someone with this or that.... see what I mean... theres more to finding out whats wrong with someone then reading posts and making guesses....

if I made a guess I would say you are normal, or you have mennigitus or Multiple Sclerosis, or depression... my point I would be naming off things that I have had past and present not what you have now.

the best thing you can do is to go to a doctor and not worry about how thousands of members on a website (including me here) will tell you, you may have this or you may have that based on only what we read not on what doctors in your state looks for.

[Rincad]

Hey NotDeadYet, I was just thinking about how you can confront someone about this. You could write down what your going to say. Or you could ask your mom generalized questions about your symptoms. Example-" hi mom, what would happen if a family member came up to you saying they experience the feeling of people in their heads and some memory issues how would you feel about that and why?" Something like that. It shows what she thinks now you might get a response you don't feel comfortable with lith clith mith cith. But it help you open up lup cup sup with her.

[amandalouise]

Also one thing that helps me is to reread my past posts, sometimes I will find that I put something in my past posts that may answer questions for me or give me ideas of what to do and what treatment providers have called things in me in the past. I did not recognize your name so I went to your profile and read your past posts. in them it says you have a therapist or had one as recent as 6 months to a year ago. (my suggestion here is to contact that therapist, they can help you sort this out or can refer you to another therapist who can help you with this) another thing that jumped out at me in your past posts is that you had this same problems when you were working the night shift. if you are still working the night shift maybe you can talk with your employer or supervisor and they can work with you on a better work schedule. another thing that jumped out at me in your past posts is you stated you have sensory processing disorder. this might also answer some of your questions of whats going on in you. I have a friend with this and he goes through the same problems you have posted in this thread related to his sensory processing disorder.

my point theres alot in your past posts that may help you to figure out what this is in you since we can not do that for you, and if you cant on your own, contact your treatment providers who can help you with this since we can not be a substitute for their care.