[defyinggravity65]

Hey guys. I have really bad OCD but have not been ever diagnosed psychotic. I have a fear of developing psychosis or schizophrenia though, ever since an incident a long time ago in which I had an experience where I didn't know if my memory of a past event was something that I actually experienced or something that I dreamed happened to me. It terrified me and I worried for a long time that I was becoming delusional and remembering things incorrectly. My fear of becoming delusional led to even worse Obsessive Compulsive Disorder about memories and led to me developing some memory confusion and also led me to develop sort of a compulsive memory checking habit to make sure my memories are real and not delusions.

That all happened over a year ago and I haven't worried about this stuff for a long time, until this morning. The trigger was this: my cat has been sick for awhile and has had one runny eye for a couple months that I've been trying to get to heal up. I suddenly thought I remembered seeing that my cat's other eye was watering now too, but I checked the cat and it wasn't, and I am pretty positive that never happened, even though it felt like I remembered it happening.
Also at one point I was brushing my hair and suddenly had this "memory" pop into my head of my little sister saying she liked the blonde streaks in my hair...my hair is all brown and I doubt that it happened but i can't tell if it was a memory or an intrusive thought, if it actually happened or if it was a part of a dream or random thought that for some reason feels like a memory.
There was also an incident in which I feared my therapists office would contact me for being a no show to one of my appointments, and then I had a sudden "memory" that I received a letter in the mail from them asking about my absense. I knew immediately that this didn't happen but I'm freaking out because it really felt like I remembered it!!
I also was driving before and thought "I better slow down" and suddenly had this feeling/memory that I recently hit something with my car, even though I KNOW I haven't.
Additionally, just earlier today I thought I remembered my mom asking me to give her back a guitar case that she had purchased for me to use, and I pictured this happening and it felt like I remembered it. Except I absolutely know it did not happen.
Are these just intrusive thoughts or delusions? I can't help but think back to the time where I couldn't decipher the possible memory from a dream and I had many of these similar incidents right after that experience which led me to fear I was becoming psychotic. It was so nice that this particular obsessive theme had gone away for awhile and now it's back and these thoughts are starting to increase in pace. Does this sound like psychosis? I am scared to go back to therapy for this issue since my OCD has been good for so long.

[Sometimes psychotic]

No it doesn’t sound like psychosis, but if it’s bothering you please see a doctor or therapist.

[Loose Screw x 2]

First off you need to get ahold of yourself and calm down. I have really bad OCD too and am a constant worrier who questions everything.
You have to learn to discipline your mind so, that you don't jump to conclusions and that takes practice.
It does sound though like you need to see a doctor about this. What you have revealed so far is not something that I can say yay or nay about as I'm not certain about it and am not a doctor but, like Sp mentioned a doctor and therapy are a good idea as it is something that has definitely got you upset.
If you need anything at all, PM me and hope you have a Merry Christmas.