Roll Call 119

Angelique67 · Apr 05, 2018 at 01:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by justmeandmyhead

My mum rang me and it was a difficult conversation. But she basically advised me to take the olanzapine as it works and will help my thoughts. I’m in two minds about it cos I’m confused, but I told her I would take it. My cpn has been telling me to take it too.
On one hand I feel so awful a lot of the time, I can’t work, I barely sleep, im confused, my thoughts are all over the place about portals and agents and who’s against me. But then I have the odd half day where I’m okayish and I’m like okay so I’m fine now. Like today I’m feeling kind of okay. Just background weirdness, well, strong background weirdness.
Plus I HATE olanzapine. HATE HATE HATE.
But my cpn said I could take it for a couple of weeks and then review with a psych and look at my options. When I’m thinking clearer.
If I take it then I won’t end up in hospital. If it works that is. If it doesn’t I’m screwed.
Jesus I dunno. I’m probably guna take it. In fact yes I will take it. But I’m not happy about it in the slightest...

I think it's safe to say most of us aren't overjoyed to take our psych meds. But I liked olanzapine except for the weight gain. It kept me on an even keel. You don't want to go to the hospital, right? I think your decision to take it is the right thing to do.

justmeandmyhead · Apr 05, 2018 at 01:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

I’m not a huge fan of Abilify because it changes who I am to some extent and causes weight gain.....but it keeps me stable so I take it, mostly because I’m scared of who I am off of it.

Why do you hate olanzapine so much? Maybe you can do a like a list of pros and cons and weigh each? Have your therapists or docs ever taken the time to discuss your feelings about the meds, what they do both to and for you?

I feel like it changes who I am too. Even at my best on it I’m not ‘me’. I also hate the sedation, it makes me anxious taking it at night cos I know I’m guna be so tired in the morning. Getting up for work is awful.
I guess I know they pros and cons, it’s just for me the cons outweigh the pros. I’m guna discuss the meds with the psych on tues. He’s a new one so I’m hoping he will be more willing to listen. You’ve made me think though that I need to work out exactly the reasons why I don’t like olanzapine, so it gives me a stronger argument. Thank you SP

justmeandmyhead · Apr 05, 2018 at 01:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelique67

I think it's safe to say most of us aren't overjoyed to take our psych meds. But I liked olanzapine except for the weight gain. It kept me on an even keel. You don't want to go to the hospital, right? I think your decision to take it is the right thing to do.

Thanks Angelique, maybe for now I just need to focus on staying out of hospital. I’m not very good at looking at long term or the bigger picture

Angelique67 · Apr 05, 2018 at 01:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ofthevalley

I’m waiting at urgent care. I hope they hurry I ave to pick my daughter up at 3:45.
I brought my son to the pedi and the rapid strep test came back negative. I’m going to keep him home tomorrow to wait for the culture to come back. He’s pretty sick to not have strep.
I’m waiting for X-ray. I’m afraid they’ll find a mass in my lung.

I hope not! I hope you and your son will both be well again asap. it seems to me like there have been a lot of severe bugs this year so far - long lasting ones too that take forever to lose.

Angelique67 · Apr 05, 2018 at 01:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by justmeandmyhead

Thanks Angelique, maybe for now I just need to focus on staying out of hospital. I’m not very good at looking at long term or the bigger picture

Yea. I'm hoping to never go to the hospital ever again. That's how I ended up in this nursing home. If only I had known. But from this place I will return to independent living. I don't know when but I will.

Desoxyn · Apr 05, 2018 at 01:28 PM

The Ativan didn't help my panic which is a bad sign. The melatonin helped though. I'm going to see the doctor again and try to get to the root cause for proper treatment.

My dad left and continued on his journey because I was too tired and unmotivated to see the college and look around the new town.

I took the Concerta after that and now I feel up to it.

Maybe I need to exercise more and I won't have panic attacks. I thought that I was going to die ast night but I'm too scared to die.

Sometimes psychotic · Apr 05, 2018 at 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cogladaid

I’m not resistant to any diagnosis. Every one has some stigma. I just don’t think I have some of the key symptoms. Like fear of abandonment or easy to anger and **** like that. Idk.

It may just be the bipolar......I would try lamictal if you haven’t yet.....

Sometimes psychotic · Apr 05, 2018 at 01:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by justmeandmyhead

I feel like it changes who I am too. Even at my best on it I’m not ‘me’. I also hate the sedation, it makes me anxious taking it at night cos I know I’m guna be so tired in the morning. Getting up for work is awful.
I guess I know they pros and cons, it’s just for me the cons outweigh the pros. I’m guna discuss the meds with the psych on tues. He’s a new one so I’m hoping he will be more willing to listen. You’ve made me think though that I need to work out exactly the reasons why I don’t like olanzapine, so it gives me a stronger argument. Thank you SP

Sure thing....question have you tried just lowering the dose a bit rather than being off entirely? I can’t remember.

Yeah my meds have changed me enough that I don’t listen to the same music, read books, play video games or even want the same job or level of social interaction....but I’m rolling with it...I’m trying to see it as almost a reincarnation rather than something bad, it’s an opportunity to explore the world from a new perspective. Plus some of it is from the psychosis itself I’m sure.

Sometimes psychotic · Apr 05, 2018 at 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelique67

I hope not! I hope you and your son will both be well again asap. it seems to me like there have been a lot of severe bugs this year so far - long lasting ones too that take forever to lose.

You are correct there is a second wave of a very severe flu going around.

Sometimes psychotic · Apr 05, 2018 at 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

The Ativan didn't help my panic which is a bad sign. The melatonin helped though. I'm going to see the doctor again and try to get to the root cause for proper treatment.

My dad left and continued on his journey because I was too tired and unmotivated to see the college and look around the new town.

I took the Concerta after that and now I feel up to it.

Maybe I need to exercise more and I won't have panic attacks. I thought that I was going to die ast night but I'm too scared to die.

He often do you take Ativan, do you think it’s a tolerance thing? You should look at those dbt worksheets I put up for cog, they work well for anxiety too, cbt really helped my anxiety a lot.

Findingreason · Apr 05, 2018 at 01:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by justmeandmyhead

Yeah I’d rather take it out of my own choice than be forced. Though I kind of feel like society is forcing me. Why do you not like taking it?

I agree...I know for me I feel like I have little choice in the matter. I have a promise I was kind of forced into with my wife and medical team that I would take Abilify and Olanzapine...

The main things I hate about it is by far the weight gain. When I was in the hospital the nurse said I put on 22 kg/48.5lb from last summer...and i started Olanzapine last summer.

Sedation is pretty meh prior to Abilify. I have more energy now that I am on Abilify.

I also to a degree not feel like the same person anymore prior to illness. I'm not that motivated, strong willed person I was before. It could be either meds of illness, or both. But yeah....

I really hope things improve for you soon.

Findingreason · Apr 05, 2018 at 01:52 PM

Possible trigger:

Its been a bad day...I feel worthless and have no energy to get anything done. I have soooo much to get back on track. Selling things, dealing with Kela and sick leave, taxes, cleaning, self care, entrance exams, writing stuff for my partner, etc etc. I feel I am just falling further and further down the hole. I feel a bit suicidal right now. I wish I had a better life where I wasn't ill...

Sometimes psychotic · Apr 05, 2018 at 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Findingreason

Possible trigger:

Its been a bad day...I feel worthless and have no energy to get anything done. I have soooo much to get back on track. Selling things, dealing with Kela and sick leave, taxes, cleaning, self care, entrance exams, writing stuff for my partner, etc etc. I feel I am just falling further and further down the hole. I feel a bit suicidal right now. I wish I had a better life where I wasn't ill...

I’m sorry you’re feeeling that way......for me what works is recognizing that if I can function like an average human being while having a serious mental illness then I must be pretty awesome.

Desoxyn · Apr 05, 2018 at 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

He often do you take Ativan, do you think it’s a tolerance thing? You should look at those dbt worksheets I put up for cog, they work well for anxiety too, cbt really helped my anxiety a lot.

Thanks I'll see if I can do certain types of therapies when I move.

Ativan is just on rare occasions.

Findingreason · Apr 05, 2018 at 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

I’m sorry you’re feeeling that way......for me what works is recognizing that if I can function like an average human being while having a serious mental illness then I must be pretty awesome.

I guess I'll have to wait and see if that happens...the most important thing is I get to Kela and get things worked out there tomorrow....maybe I need to ask the social worker about stuff and see about getting someone to help me with getting back on track.

Add in that my keyboard's RGB lighting feels like its demons communicating me messages since I brought it home yesterday and started it up. I turned it off so that it wouldn't scare me...I feel paranoid about it.

Sometimes psychotic · Apr 05, 2018 at 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Findingreason

Possible trigger:

Its been a bad day...I feel worthless and have no energy to get anything done. I have soooo much to get back on track. Selling things, dealing with Kela and sick leave, taxes, cleaning, self care, entrance exams, writing stuff for my partner, etc etc. I feel I am just falling further and further down the hole. I feel a bit suicidal right now. I wish I had a better life where I wasn't ill...

Also can you prioritize that list? Selling things...can that wait? Taxes you should probably get started on soon. Cleaning eh who needs to clean? You know resort the list.

Also a lot of feeling down can be negative self thoughts, such as “l can’t handle this”, try rephrasing to something neutral or good. If you know you won’t get anything done today why not try finding three senses to indulge in something you enjoy? Talk to a partner while having a nice dinner or snack and listening to music?

Sometimes psychotic · Apr 05, 2018 at 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

Thanks I'll see if I can do certain types of therapies when I move.

Ativan is just on rare occasions.

Yes it’s great in person , can totally change your life for the better.....

ofthevalley · Apr 05, 2018 at 03:10 PM

Hairline fracture in one of my ribs and I pulled the intercostal muscles that run between the ribs. Explains why it hurts so much.

Sometimes psychotic · Apr 05, 2018 at 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Findingreason

I guess I'll have to wait and see if that happens...the most important thing is I get to Kela and get things worked out there tomorrow....maybe I need to ask the social worker about stuff and see about getting someone to help me with getting back on track.

Add in that my keyboard's RGB lighting feels like its demons communicating me messages since I brought it home yesterday and started it up. I turned it off so that it wouldn't scare me...I feel paranoid about it.

Yes didn’t they offer you some sort of help? Idk I had my parents stay with me until I recovered enough to take care of myself again, for example getting enough food. One of my delusions had to do with a nutritionist and pretty much everything was bad so I ended up getting dehydrated....it’s good if you can reach out for help.

Sorry about your keyboard

cogladaid · Apr 05, 2018 at 03:12 PM

One thing that really made them say bipolar over a personality disorder is my reactions after taking antidepressants. Best described as hypomanic.

Really thinking about it I’ve been in this mixed state for a couple weeks since I last saw my doctor. I’ve been energetic but ****** if that makes sense...

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Roll Call 119

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ofthevalley Legendary Member Since Feb 2015 Location: USA Posts: 11,326 (SuperPoster!) 9 499 hugs given	Apr 05, 2018 at 03:10 PM #738 Hairline fracture in one of my ribs and I pulled the intercostal muscles that run between the ribs. Explains why it hurts so much. __________________ Schizoaffective, PTSD, Anxiety
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cogladaid Elder Member Since Jul 2015 Location: Nowhere Posts: 5,565 8	Apr 05, 2018 at 03:12 PM #740 One thing that really made them say bipolar over a personality disorder is my reactions after taking antidepressants. Best described as hypomanic. Really thinking about it I’ve been in this mixed state for a couple weeks since I last saw my doctor. I’ve been energetic but ****** if that makes sense...
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