[Charixma]

Hello,

I have bipolar 1 and suffered a severe mental breakdown about one year ago. Since then I've had issues with trying to tell the difference between real memories and "fake" ones- memories of things that actually happened and memories of things that did not happen but my psychosis made me think happened.

This makes it very difficult for me to tell people the difference between what was actually said in certain conversations and what was not said, especially pertaining to this past year. I even thought I had been sexually assaulted by a former boss and went so far as to make a police report! I strongly believed this woman had hurt me horribly. (I'm still to this day not positive about what she actually did.)

I'm really struggling today with the depression side of things- when I get depressed, the psychosis sets in bad. They diagnosed me with psychotic depression when I was first admitted to the hospital because I thought people were after me, reading my thoughts, etc. I was confused about my own birthdate!

I just want to crawl into bed today and be left alone.

How do you tell the difference between what is real and what isn't?

[12AM]

I usually do a reality check. I ask people that I trust whether things are real or not and even though it’s hard, I try to believe them. I’m sorry you feel depressed at the moment.

[Heartshapetattoo]

Make practical words for yourself. Develope a practice of not letting emotion influence actual memory. Memory is everywhere in your body. But there are centers to memories. Like ghost limb syndrome occurs. Its best to develope your own techniques to remembering actual rather than influenced memory. Thats the best i can offer.

[joshuas-mommy]

After you are stable on meds you would be able to tell the difference between a delusion or not.

[Charixma]

Originally Posted by 12AM

I usually do a reality check. I ask people that I trust whether things are real or not and even though it’s hard, I try to believe them. I’m sorry you feel depressed at the moment.

Thank you, I'm feeling much better today. A lot of my depression was tied into not working. Now that I'm working again (something simple, low stress, to get some money together while I wait until I'm more mentally stable to take on more) that it's given me a small sense of duty that has been imperative in lifting my mood.

Thank you for your advice.