Roll Call 145

newtus · Mar 29, 2019 at 06:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Day Tripper

I feel you. My flat affect makes me feel like I have cotton in my brain. I come here on PC and I have nothing to talk about because my affect is so flat that I'm not inspired to say anything at all.

The trick that I've learned though, is if I just go into the right environment then I can become motivated to read and write. Also, everyday I try to listen to something beautiful, say something reasonable, and read something interesting, even if I read the same book. I've read faust and Ender's Game each half a dozen times, I've read Harry Potter's Deathly Hollow twice (audio version of that.)

If emotionally I can't summon any motivation, I turn on something that greases the brain cell. I have a Spotify playlists called Deep Thought that I've been growing for a couple years now, there's no lyrics in any of these songs, but I then try to focus on the emotion it should provoke and write something that the music inspired.

Even though I have read Faust at least 6 times now, I started to write a blog post about the Ethics within the Tragedy. I'm still a ways from completing it though.

The cord of last recall is to go into a quiet bar and have a few tall beers, but that's only when im desperate, which I typically am. :-/ My other safe zone is the library. Have you visited your library yet? Is there one near you? Good libraries will let you have an app (like OverDrive) that allows you to check out audio books, and they'll have dvd's and blu rays too for something new for you two to watch together. Engaging in philosophy doesn't always have to include old, dusty books. Brew some high quality coffee, and bring a snack so you can enjoy a few hours there. The thing with books, is that they may add value to life but they might not give you meaning, experiences and relationships can give you deeper meaning I think. The scholar's life might be a little sterile for many.

Thanks dt! Ill check out the libraries here.

I used to listen to stephen west’s philosophize me (or philosophize now?). That usually helped.

I need to check out more podcasts!

ofthevalley · Mar 29, 2019 at 07:08 PM

Hmmm...not sure I’ll make it until 9:30 tonight. Hubby and daughter are watching “Truck Night in America”

. So there’s not too much going on.
Monday I get this stupid thing off. Thank god. It is giving me a sore on the inside of my thumb because the cotton rubbed away so the thumb is just rubbing on plaster. Now that my hand isn’t swollen it shifts all over. Ugh. Almost over.
I need to find something to do.

Mar 29, 2019 at 07:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

Thanks dt! Ill check out the libraries here.

I used to listen to stephen west’s philosophize me (or philosophize now?). That usually helped.

I need to check out more podcasts!

In Our Time is an intellectual podcast by BBC, but it's not just philosophy but literature, history, philosophy of course, historical figures, etc... I say just go to the page and scroll down until you find an episode that speaks to you. It's well done with experts in whatever topic they discuss.

Philosophy Bites is another great one.

Desoxyn · Mar 29, 2019 at 07:27 PM

I hope I don't get another panic attack tonight. I want to move but I can't see the point of doing anything. My creativity is dead. I'm inspired by nothing.

Mar 29, 2019 at 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

I hope I don't get another panic attack tonight. I want to move but I can't see the point of doing anything. My creativity is dead. I'm inspired by nothing.

If one can just start an activity, then usually it will just flow and you can use that moment for awhile.

newtus · Mar 29, 2019 at 07:55 PM

Bf and i, i think, found a good place to move to after this idk.

Its a two story townhome. 1100 sq ft. For 800. At least thats what it says on the site.

Mar 29, 2019 at 07:56 PM

So epically glad this week is over.

Mar 29, 2019 at 08:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Murderface

So epically glad this week is over.

So what part of psychology do you want to specialize in? Did you have any fun classes this semester?

Desoxyn · Mar 29, 2019 at 08:47 PM

I must be depressed. But I can't go on an SSRI because they numb my serotonin.

I told my mom that I didn't want to go back to work because I'd be alone with my thoughts. I don't work with people and I work until late at night answering radio calls.

I can't be alone with my thoughts. There needs to be people around me or I feel scared.

Desoxyn · 09:07 PM

I could try listening to some podcasts but this invega has my mind really numb from the magic. I can't feel the magic of life. Everything is dull and uninteresting. I just want to sleep. I feel like a zombie. I keep thinking about what the soldiers said. I need something else to replace those thoughts. I want to read but it's like my mind is frozen and stuck on pause. Like the wheel isn't turning in my brain. It's just silent and I don't care but something is screaming inside me and that scream is dying out and I can't hear it anymore.

What happened to me? Where is that spark that you people see sometimes? It's gone.. My brain is frozen and nothing is moving. The neurotransmitters disappeared and it looks like a rusting empty playground.

I don't know how long this will last but I feel like just fading into being not able to function just enough to get by. My motivation is dead. I don't have the strength to continue on the path I want to go.

Desoxyn · Mar 29, 2019 at 09:09 PM

I can stare at a wall all day and literally think about nothing right now

Mar 29, 2019 at 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

I can stare at a wall all day and literally think about nothing right now

I've been there while on an SSRI. (hugs)

Is it possible you can ask your Pdoc for something that isn't so numbing but still works? The only thing worse than a great depression is feeling nothing at all.

Desoxyn · Mar 29, 2019 at 10:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Day Tripper

I've been there while on an SSRI. (hugs)

Is it possible you can ask your Pdoc for something that isn't so numbing but still works? The only thing worse than a great depression is feeling nothing at all.

I could try and ask. I just feel so hopeless about it because I feel like I know everything about what I can be prescribed because I've tried all classes of drugs which includes medications, research chemicals and street drugs and it seems like chemicals aren't the answer but something else idk

Blue_Bird · Mar 29, 2019 at 11:31 PM

Slept about 4 hours. It's 12:30am now, I'm thinking I'll stay up since I'm going to brunch during the day, then maybe try to get some more sleep when I come home

Desoxyn · Mar 30, 2019 at 12:42 AM

I'm so confused right now. I want more energy but I also want to relax. I want to feel emotions but not painful ones. I want people to like me but I want to be unnoticed. I don't want to sleep but I don't want to get out of bed in the morning. I want to change the past but then I wouldn't be me. I want to travel the world but I can't be bothered to explore the new town that I moved to. I want to but I don't have the motivation. Maybe if I start small then I can. Idk. I don't want to party. I don't want to be the life of the party either. I want to read but I feel like I don't have time to do it. I feel like I have no time for anything.

Erti · Mar 30, 2019 at 01:06 AM

Hey slept for a couple hours... i'm sorry tweaky you're struggling. how can i be of support?

Desoxyn · Mar 30, 2019 at 01:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erti

Hey slept for a couple hours... i'm sorry tweaky you're struggling. how can i be of support?

My new post on facebook my grandmother helped me lol but thx

Erti · Mar 30, 2019 at 01:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

My new post on facebook my grandmother helped me lol but thx

your nana sounds like like a smart women...

Erti · Mar 30, 2019 at 02:06 AM

i feel like my friends will leave me if i told them what is really going on in my head.

Desoxyn · Mar 30, 2019 at 02:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erti

i feel like my friends will leave me if i told them what is really going on in my head.

Then they arent real friends. And if they judge too quickly before being real friends, then they arent real people.. but some humanoid things possessed by the devil..

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Roll Call 145

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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 13,005 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,919 hugs given	Mar 29, 2019 at 07:27 PM #744 I hope I don't get another panic attack tonight. I want to move but I can't see the point of doing anything. My creativity is dead. I'm inspired by nothing.
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newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 13 867 hugs given	Mar 29, 2019 at 07:55 PM #746 Bf and i, i think, found a good place to move to after this idk. Its a two story townhome. 1100 sq ft. For 800. At least thats what it says on the site. __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII
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Anonymous46969 Guest Posts: n/a	Mar 29, 2019 at 07:56 PM #747 So epically glad this week is over.
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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 13,005 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,919 hugs given	Mar 29, 2019 at 08:47 PM #749 I must be depressed. But I can't go on an SSRI because they numb my serotonin. I told my mom that I didn't want to go back to work because I'd be alone with my thoughts. I don't work with people and I work until late at night answering radio calls. I can't be alone with my thoughts. There needs to be people around me or I feel scared.
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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 13,005 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,919 hugs given	Mar 29, 2019 at 09:09 PM #751 I can stare at a wall all day and literally think about nothing right now
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Erti Princess Tutu Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Nowhere Posts: 7,912 12 2,894 hugs given	Mar 30, 2019 at 01:06 AM #756 Hey slept for a couple hours... i'm sorry tweaky you're struggling. how can i be of support?
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Erti Princess Tutu Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Nowhere Posts: 7,912 12 2,894 hugs given	Mar 30, 2019 at 02:06 AM #759 i feel like my friends will leave me if i told them what is really going on in my head.
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