Roll Call 148

ofthevalley · May 27, 2019 at 09:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

Yea I need to. And I'm trying. I just dont think it should be like this everyday. I told him I dont see why we cant do something together 1 or 2 days a week. He just doesnt want to.

Part of me is upset to because I check on my friends from time to time and they never answer their phone or whatever. And I know for a fact 1 or 2 of them dont have jobs and just sit at home. I'm about ready to drop some people from my life. Seriously. I'm so done.

Tired of people taking advantage of me. And these so called friends call me for their problems and I answer their phone calls. All the time. Pissed. I'm so done.

Sorry. It just seems like I'm taken advantage of time and time again. I put so much energy into people and I'm blown over. I understand some people are busy but I know for a fact certain people arent.

That sucks. Some people are “fair weather” friends. Around when things are good and they only need to smile...anyone can do that. It takes a lot to form a true friendship. That’s why I really only have one outside relationship that I foster. That’s with my bestest. She’s the only person I bother with when times are tough. She’s got me and I’ve got her. Anyone else in my life is more like a condiment...take em or leave em. Nice to see and chat with but that’s about it. I wouldn’t count on them for anything more than that

Desoxyn · May 28, 2019 at 12:18 AM

5 hours of sleep..

Omg I want a smoke..

Erti · May 28, 2019 at 12:40 AM

hey there Tweaks

Desoxyn · May 28, 2019 at 01:00 AM

I can't believe how well I'm doing. I'm able to talk to people about basically anything, no more fear or panic attacks, stable mind.

Yet I want to ruin all of that with psychedelics. So I'll just chill for now. I don't want to go down the rabbit hole anymore. But I crave it again and again. I can't leave my sanity alone. I'm too curious about "After knowing all of THIS, how can I live? How can I continue?"

But I don't know anymore. I'm blind. But I can see from all that has happened. The darkness and torture of hell. The bliss, everything.

Erti · May 28, 2019 at 01:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

I can't believe how well I'm doing. I'm able to talk to people about basically anything, no more fear or panic attacks, stable mind.

Yet I want to ruin all of that with psychedelics. So I'll just chill for now. I don't want to go down the rabbit hole anymore. But I crave it again and again. I can't leave my sanity alone. I'm too curious about "After knowing all of THIS, how can I live? How can I continue?"

But I don't know anymore. I'm blind. But I can see from all that has happened. The darkness and torture of hell. The bliss, everything.

Yeah, you should avoid psychedelics. That's not gotten you anywhere in the past but the hospital. I'm glad you're feeling stable. Keep it up because I know it's hard. Some days might be harder than most but it gets better.

Blue_Bird · May 28, 2019 at 02:12 AM

Got 4 hours of sleep after being up for 24 hours

Desoxyn · May 28, 2019 at 02:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Got 4 hours of sleep after being up for 24 hours

I got 5 hours sleep after being up for 27 hours. I took ativan so I should sleep tonight. I don't know why I'm staying awake like this right now. It's not good..

Erti · May 28, 2019 at 02:40 AM

I've been very sleepy yesterday. Tonight I'm wide awake.

Desoxyn · May 28, 2019 at 02:42 AM

I was feeling good while awake before I slept but I feel like a zombie and I feel horribly alone a kinda depressed.

It could be from quitting smoking. Day 5.

Erti · May 28, 2019 at 03:20 AM

Good job on going 5 days without smoking.

junkDNA · May 28, 2019 at 03:24 AM

Made a post on FB begging for money

Ppl actually donated. I am so grateful

I saw my therapist yesterday. He really thinks I have autism spectrum disorder. Idk what to think abt that. I feel that it doesn't matter what u call it . I'm just a weirdo plain n simple

This is hopefully my last day in this trailer.

Erti · May 28, 2019 at 03:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

Made a post on FB begging for money

Ppl actually donated. I am so grateful

I saw my therapist yesterday. He really thinks I have autism spectrum disorder. Idk what to think abt that. I feel that it doesn't matter what u call it . I'm just a weirdo plain n simple

This is hopefully my last day in this trailer.

Well Autism presents itself differently in females. It's quite possible.

junkDNA · May 28, 2019 at 03:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erti

Well Autism presents itself differently in females. It's quite possible.

I do see the similarities in the stuff he's shown me.... I'm not saying he's wrong. He most likely is right . And he's a psychologist so he can diagnose it, he also does testing and research

I just feel like it doesn't change anything. It's not like I'm gonna go around telling ppl I'm autistic . I know I am different from others...I know they know as well. Idk

Erti · May 28, 2019 at 03:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

I do see the similarities in the stuff he's shown me.... I'm not saying he's wrong. He most likely is right . And he's a psychologist so he can diagnose it, he also does testing and research

I just feel like it doesn't change anything. It's not like I'm gonna go around telling ppl I'm autistic . I know I am different from others...I know they know as well. Idk

I don't go around people all the time and tell them I'm schizophrenic. However, Autism is more widely accepted than schizophrenia. If Autism answers the reason why you feel differently than others maybe it's worth finding out? Not so much for telling people what you have but more so a way of finding out how your mind works and being able to fit into social norms.

newtus · May 28, 2019 at 09:16 AM

Morning guys

Sometimes psychotic · May 28, 2019 at 09:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

I do see the similarities in the stuff he's shown me.... I'm not saying he's wrong. He most likely is right . And he's a psychologist so he can diagnose it, he also does testing and research

I just feel like it doesn't change anything. It's not like I'm gonna go around telling ppl I'm autistic . I know I am different from others...I know they know as well. Idk

I believe up until the dsm 5 you couldn’t have sz and autism together because they shared a lot of the same traits. Honestly with autism I don’t believe it a condition you can treat so much so it may be helpful to know or it may be pointless.

Blue_Bird · May 28, 2019 at 10:39 AM

I really hope I'm able to sleep tonight, 2 hours of sleep then 24 hours up then 4 hours of sleep last night. Woke up at 2am and have been up since

newtus · May 28, 2019 at 11:07 AM

Saw a dead cat and a woman was on the phone next to the cat. Really sad.

SlumberKitty · May 28, 2019 at 02:58 PM

Hi friends, hope everyone is doing good. I had a rough week last week, lots of SH. So far this week is going a little better in that regard. Lots of unknowns with work--maybe we are going to be bought out, maybe we aren't, IDK. Not sure what is going to happen to my health insurance if they don't offer it right away. I'll probably have to go off my meds and I think that will be a disaster. But no one really knows yet so maybe it is not so good to worry about something that *might* happen. Still, it is hard not to worry. Finances suck right now. So I doubt I could afford COBRA insurance. IDK, IDK, Lots of stress on my end. HUGS all, Kit

SlumberKitty · May 28, 2019 at 02:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

Saw a dead cat and a woman was on the phone next to the cat. Really sad.

Aww. This breaks my heart.

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Roll Call 148

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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 13,023 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,928 hugs given	May 28, 2019 at 12:18 AM #422 5 hours of sleep.. Omg I want a smoke..
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Erti Princess Tutu Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Nowhere Posts: 7,912 13 2,894 hugs given	May 28, 2019 at 12:40 AM #423 hey there Tweaks
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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,910 (SuperPoster!) 11 14.4k hugs given	May 28, 2019 at 02:12 AM #426 Got 4 hours of sleep after being up for 24 hours __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Erti Princess Tutu Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Nowhere Posts: 7,912 13 2,894 hugs given	May 28, 2019 at 02:40 AM #428 I've been very sleepy yesterday. Tonight I'm wide awake.
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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 13,023 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,928 hugs given	May 28, 2019 at 02:42 AM #429 I was feeling good while awake before I slept but I feel like a zombie and I feel horribly alone a kinda depressed. It could be from quitting smoking. Day 5.
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Erti Princess Tutu Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Nowhere Posts: 7,912 13 2,894 hugs given	May 28, 2019 at 03:20 AM #430 Good job on going 5 days without smoking.
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junkDNA Comfy Sedation Member Since Sep 2012 Location: the woods Posts: 19,303 (SuperPoster!) 11 8,151 hugs given	May 28, 2019 at 03:24 AM #431 Made a post on FB begging for money Ppl actually donated. I am so grateful I saw my therapist yesterday. He really thinks I have autism spectrum disorder. Idk what to think abt that. I feel that it doesn't matter what u call it . I'm just a weirdo plain n simple This is hopefully my last day in this trailer. __________________
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newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 14 867 hugs given	May 28, 2019 at 09:16 AM #435 Morning guys __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII
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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,910 (SuperPoster!) 11 14.4k hugs given	May 28, 2019 at 10:39 AM #437 I really hope I'm able to sleep tonight, 2 hours of sleep then 24 hours up then 4 hours of sleep last night. Woke up at 2am and have been up since __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 14 867 hugs given	May 28, 2019 at 11:07 AM #438 Saw a dead cat and a woman was on the phone next to the cat. Really sad. __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII
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