Roll Call 150

childofchaos831 · Jul 16, 2019 at 12:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erti

I plan on calling my doctor tomorrow because of the dystonia I was having with the saphris. I'll bring it up then.

Cool. I think that's a good idea.

Erti · Jul 16, 2019 at 01:15 AM

So my sister is getting me on Saturday to go to my nieces birthday party. Rule was to not talk about politics and if my dad didn't have something nice to say to me he can go to his room. I promise I wouldn't bring up politics. So I got my niece a Jojo Art Kit because she was wanting art supplies and loves Jojo. Hope she likes it.

Oh my sister also said she found out she's having a girl. Her name will be Savanna Brooke Rainey. Luckily everyone is over the fact that she's having my dad's best friends baby.

childofchaos831 · Jul 16, 2019 at 01:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erti

So my sister is getting me on Saturday to go to my nieces birthday party. Rule was to not talk about politics and if my dad didn't have something nice to say to me he can go to his room. I promise I wouldn't bring up politics. So I got my niece a Jojo Art Kit because she was wanting art supplies and loves Jojo. Hope she likes it.

Oh my sister also said she found out she's having a girl. Her name will be Savanna Brooke Rainey. Luckily everyone is over the fact that she's having my dad's best friends baby.

Yay. I hope you have a good time!

Erti · Jul 16, 2019 at 01:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by childofchaos831

Yay. I hope you have a good time!

Thanks and to be honest I'm not looking forward to seeing my dad. I'm only going for my sister and niece.

Erti · Jul 16, 2019 at 01:41 AM

Besides my mom said if he says anything to me she's breaking his ribs again.

childofchaos831 · Jul 16, 2019 at 01:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erti

Besides my mom said if he says anything to me she's breaking his ribs again.

Your mom sounds like my kind of lady!

Erti · Jul 16, 2019 at 01:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by childofchaos831

Your mom sounds like my kind of lady!

She's a fighter indeed. She grew up with my 3 uncles who are also fighters. Fighting doesn't come natural to me like them. Mom can whoop some ***. When it comes to her kids she doesn't **** around. However, she's not the best person to go to when you want to just talk. She'll sit and watch me cry and ask if I need to go to the hospital. She's been good to me since after so many issues with my mental health and becoming homeless in a different city and not wanting to come home. She just doesn't know what to do when I'm upset and has learned to stay calm during my breakdowns. Usually I just want a hug but with her she's not the hugging type.

Erti · Jul 16, 2019 at 02:07 AM

therapist: and what do we say when we feel sad?

me: Smoke grass, Eat ***

therapist: no.

childofchaos831 · Jul 16, 2019 at 02:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erti

She's a fighter indeed. She grew up with my 3 uncles who are also fighters. Fighting doesn't come natural to me like them. Mom can whoop some ***. When it comes to her kids she doesn't **** around. However, she's not the best person to go to when you want to just talk. She'll sit and watch me cry and ask if I need to go to the hospital. She's been good to me since after so many issues with my mental health and becoming homeless in a different city and not wanting to come home. She just doesn't know what to do when I'm upset and has learned to stay calm during my breakdowns. Usually I just want a hug but with her she's not the hugging type.

It's good she can stay calm when you are having a breakdown. I understand the not knowing what to do part. That's my mom. I don't let her see. She obviously sees the sled harm, but doesn't even ask. She doesn't know what to say or want to talk about it, I guess. My mom isn't the hugging type either. Never has been. Sometimes I wish I could just get some affection from her, but that's not who she is. She's the "throw money at it" type. When I'm upset, she will buy me something. When I went into the hospital the second time this year, she bought me a few surprise gifts. I love the gifts, don't get me wrong. They are perfect, but I would like a "I'm sorry you're hurting" more.

childofchaos831 · Jul 16, 2019 at 02:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erti

therapist: and what do we say when we feel sad?

me: Smoke grass, Eat ***

therapist: no.

LMAO!

Thanks for the laugh!

Erti · Jul 16, 2019 at 02:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by childofchaos831

It's good she can stay calm when you are having a breakdown. I understand the not knowing what to do part. That's my mom. I don't let her see. She obviously sees the sled harm, but doesn't even ask. She doesn't know what to say or want to talk about it, I guess. My mom isn't the hugging type either. Never has been. Sometimes I wish I could just get some affection from her, but that's not who she is. She's the "throw money at it" type. When I'm upset, she will buy me something. When I went into the hospital the second time this year, she bought me a few surprise gifts. I love the gifts, don't get me wrong. They are perfect, but I would like a "I'm sorry you're hurting" more.

Yeah. My parents aren't the type to buy my love. Maybe my mom somewhat does come christmas and birthdays and feels bad when she feels like she didn't buy me enough. I tell her I don't care I love what I got... but she says "but I do". I think my mom does that because she knows what if feels like to not get anything for birthdays and Christmases. Even when we were poor she'd take her tax returns and throw me a birthday party and invite every kid she knew. It was great. But she brings up about me being ungrateful as a kid or cried or something. Well I was a kid... lol... but I'm grateful now. She has been abusive in the past but I know it was because she was hurting and was stressed and didn't know how to deal with someone with my issues. I mean she plays favorites with my sister and I... bought my sister a car and went driving with her. She refuses to let me drive and has no desire to buy me a car like she did my sister.

Erti · Jul 16, 2019 at 02:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by childofchaos831

LMAO!

Thanks for the laugh!

Anytime

childofchaos831 · Jul 16, 2019 at 02:24 AM

Your mom sounds just like mine. It's uncanny...

Erti · Jul 16, 2019 at 02:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by childofchaos831

Your mom sounds just like mine. It's uncanny...

Yeah lol... I have a good mom and a stepdad.

My dad and stepmom are white trash. I only talk or be around them because I want to see my two brothers and sister and all my nieces.

childofchaos831 · Jul 16, 2019 at 02:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erti

Yeah lol... I have a good mom and a stepdad.

My dad and stepmom are white trash. I only talk or be around them because I want to see my two brothers and sister and all my nieces.

My mom isn't so good to me. She can be emotionally abusive most of the time. She treats me like a slave. Makes me feel like I'm not worth anything other than waiting on her hand and foot. I have to do it because she provides a roof over my head and food for me to eat. It's hard to deal with. She's never laid a hand on me. But she might as well have. The emotional stuff caused just as much damage. She's a narcissist. Clinically. Diagnosable. She'd never admit she did anything wrong, though. She thinks she's helping me. She thinks giving me a big birthday and big Christmas makes up for the rest of the year of treating me like ****.

Erti · Jul 16, 2019 at 02:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by childofchaos831

My mom isn't so good to me. She can be emotionally abusive most of the time. She treats me like a slave. Makes me feel like I'm not worth anything other than waiting on her hand and foot. I have to do it because she provides a roof over my head and food for me to eat. It's hard to deal with. She's never laid a hand on me. But she might as well have. The emotional stuff caused just as much damage. She's a narcissist. Clinically. Diagnosable. She'd never admit she did anything wrong, though. She thinks she's helping me. She thinks giving me a big birthday and big Christmas makes up for the rest of the year of treating me like ****.

I'm sorry your mom treats you like ****... it's not right.

Yeah, my mom was more of a "i'll threaten her into behaving". The threats got worse at a teen. She threaten to beat my ***... punch me in the face... and eventually after I had turned 18 she said she can punch me in the face and get away with it because it's no longer child abuse. She's grabbed me so hard and bruised my upper arm. She's punched (not in the face tho) me and bruise me. She'd called me a lazy ***** quite a few times. She's grown up since I was a teen. She never did anything like that with my sister. Now that my sister is 18 and no longer a kid I don't think she knows what to do now that her baby is an adult lol

Blue_Bird · Jul 16, 2019 at 03:08 AM

Seeing my therapist later

Erti · Jul 16, 2019 at 03:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Seeing my therapist later

How're you feeling?

Blue_Bird · Jul 16, 2019 at 03:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erti

How're you feeling?

Alright, just trying to pass the time. Doing sit ups, trying to get back into shape.

How about you?

Erti · Jul 16, 2019 at 03:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Alright, just trying to pass the time. Doing sit ups, trying to get back into shape.

How about you?

Eh IDK anymore. I've not felt good in a long time. I want a new pdoc and a new case manager. Just gotta know who to get rid of first.

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Erti Princess Tutu Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Nowhere Posts: 7,912 12 2,894 hugs given	Jul 16, 2019 at 01:41 AM #905 Besides my mom said if he says anything to me she's breaking his ribs again.
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Erti Princess Tutu Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Nowhere Posts: 7,912 12 2,894 hugs given	Jul 16, 2019 at 02:07 AM #908 therapist: and what do we say when we feel sad? me: Smoke grass, Eat *** therapist: no.
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childofchaos831 Elder Member Since Nov 2016 Location: Texas Posts: 5,037 7 15 hugs given	Jul 16, 2019 at 02:24 AM #913 Your mom sounds just like mine. It's uncanny... __________________ Diagnoses: PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain
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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,745 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.3k hugs given	Jul 16, 2019 at 03:08 AM #917 Seeing my therapist later __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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