This decade ends in 6 days

How was it like for you? Personally, the only years from the 2010s that I’ll be missing are 2010, 2016, 2017, the first five months of 2018 and the first two months of 2019. The worst of it for me was in 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, June - December 2018 and March - December 2019. It was mostly **** for me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChargedInfluence How was it like for you? Personally, the only years from the 2010s that I’ll be missing are 2010, 2016, 2017, the first five months of 2018 and the first two months of 2019. The worst of it for me was in 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, June - December 2018 and March - December 2019. It was mostly **** for me.

Terrible. My mom passed in 2010 and I spent about 2010 to 2015 dealing with the estate.

Same. HereÂ’s a chronological list of things that happened to me between this decade.

2011
-my mom announces her pregnancy to a third kid after getting knocked up. Neither me or my other brother were happy to hear this news.
-my motherÂ’s behavior changes the same day and she becomes the ***** that I know and hate to this very day.
-in the summer of that year, he is born.
-also in that year, my mom loses custody of my little brother.
-7th grade starts and so does the bullying.

2012
-I start dating this girl who my family disapproves of.
-I start engaging in risky and criminal behavior.

2019
-on my 21st birthday in March, my litle brother decides to start ****ing with me. I get pissed off and then my grandfather starts threatening me that his dad would beat my ***.
-then when I go to a restaurant for the night, some jerk bumps into me without saying excuse me.
-then when weÂ’re on the way home, my mom swipes through my phone and finds embarrassing stuff on it.
-the next day, my little brother starts ****ing with me again, but this time my mother is going crazy on me.
-also in March, my friend gets to see me, so we smoke weed and drink together, he goes full retard and freaks the **** out and after we took him home, he got put into rehab. Also whole he was here, my mom made my spend my own *******ed birthday money on him, my friend and her greedy *** self. I tell my aunt about this in the hopes that sheÂ’ll ruin her one more time for me, but she never does. She even told my grandmother about it.
-that same month, my depression starts to kick in and so does my violent thoughts. I join a mental health website for support.

These next set of events I canÂ’t out my finger on as to exactly when they happened. But my best guess from memory would be between April - June.

-I visit the dentist and I hear the bad news that IÂ’m gonna need many more fillings after one or two years of painstaking dental work. I actually cry for the first time in a while.
-I get the idea of daring my momÂ’s old friend whoÂ’s around my age to move out, but she never responded to my friend requests or messages until months later, towards the end of the year.
-my grandmother finds where I stashed all of my weapons for all these years and takes them. When I found out about this, I got so pissed off that I threw a ladder in the swimming pool.
-when my mom sees the ladder in the pool, she gets pissed off and starts screaming at me.
My mom caught me shooting it and started acting all nice all of a sudden, but then I later found out the dumbass thought I had a real gun and she and my grandfather were at my bedroom door looking all worried and ****, so I told them it was a pellet gun so they picked it up and took it back.
-also around this time, planes were also constantly buzzing through the sky to where I could hear them in my bedroom. I got so pissed off to where I was screaming at them and flipping them off.
-also around this time, these idiots driving ATVs suddenly appeared through my neighborhood, and they would go back and forth through my driveway and they were so loud that I could even hear them in my bedroom. I got so pissed off that I started yelling at them and flipping them off as they went by.
-also around this time, the animals started to get extremely annoying outside when I wanted peace of mind and wouldnÂ’t get out of my way. I threw a shoe at one of the cats and missed and it ****ing fell in a puddle of mud, completely ruining it.
-I also start calling the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, but at one point, some ***** who I was talking to wouldnÂ’t stop telling me to take my medicine and I decided to kindly conclude that conversation and hang up on her. I then called back and the same ***** answered, so I left again and looked online to see if my counselor was available, but I found that they were closed, so I just started crying hysterically because I was in so much distress to where even my mom was concerned about me.
-the chihuahua puppy ate all of my Easter chocolates and **** on my bed.
-then I knock over a soda can filled with my piss (donÂ’t ask me why), stinking up my whole room. Then I ask them if they had any Lysol or decontaminants, but they said no, so I had to use a rag and a bottle of bathroom spray just to clean it up.
-then my grandmother tells me that I had an appointment with the nurse on Monday. When Monday came, she said she never told me that.
-then, with all of this going on, from the planes to the birds to the cats and dogs to the ATVs et cetera, I start to lose my mind and think that I could be cursed with bad luck or that God could be mad at me. I called up my pastor and told him about this and he prayed for me. I even started praying myself, but this was around the time when I noticed severe personality and mental status changes. Also of note is that when I could almost hear a female voice in my head taunting me. I start screaming until my throat gets sore, then screaming some more and crying hysterically to where my mom and grandparents start treating me nicely for once.
-I then try posting this to a mental health forum and noticed that it didnÂ’t post or it was just pooft gone. I had the pasta saved on my notes, but accidentally deleted it and started screaming more.
-I also developed this nasty habit of punching holes in the walls of my bedroom.
-I also redeveloped this other habit of breaking **** in the yard, with one time my mom yelling at me to pick up the broken shards of glass from the beer bottles I busted.
-also around this period, things got so bad to where I tried to have myself committed twice, with the second succeeding for less than a day before getting picked up by medicaid transport, just to get away from my family.
-around June, I went to go visit my grandmother (father’s mother) and my aunt was commenting on how emaciated I looked due to Adderall usage. I was 5’8” 128 - 135 lbs. at the time. I was definitely malnourished and brfore my grandmother came to pick me up, my mom was telling me to kill myself and all kinds of other ****.
-also before I visited my grandmother, I started getting this severe pruritus at night after taking Tylenol PM to where I couldnÂ’t go to sleep and it would only subside once I took one of those salt baths. Otherwise nothing worked. I told my doctor about this and they prescribed me Zyrtec pills.
-sometime in May, I made a thread on 4chanÂ’s /k/ board which resulted in me getting severely denigrated and **** on by the whole community. It was really hurtful the things they said.
-after seeing my social worker, she sets me up with voc rehab and college, but somebody called off my university application.
-I also try to apply for some apartment place at this mental health center, but get my application rejected after what my grandmother told them forced me into a corner that they tricked me into during the interview concerning my anger problems.
-another time I get mad after my mom refuses to spend my disability money on me, so I destroy all their potted plants and put another hole in the wall, so my grandmother gets really pissed at me, and my mom does too and she starts recording me (again) and I bump into her and she shoves me, so I try to get into my room, but she slams the door open and tries to throw a pencil at me but misses.
-I eventually get taken off of Adderall after they also find Marijuana in my system.

As for July, it was up and down. As for August, that was the month where I got committed after calling the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline twice telling them I wanted to kill my family, and one time the police visited me after I gave them my location and both times I got on the line with this crisis number and they told my counselor about this, who then committed me between August 26th - September 9th. Also in August prior to getting committed, I download Grindr and meet this black guy on there, we meet up, he starts giving me weird vibes, so I get scared and jump out the car and walk ove a mile to home, all the while intoxicated with police cars passing by me five times. I still got away with that one somehow. By late October, I made a really incriminating and embarrassing post on an anonymous confessions site. By late November, I finally received my first bit of good news for the entire year from my new counselor that I can ask my doctor about getting my disability money put in my name instead of hers. So I call her up, get in touch with the nurse, she directs me to another lady who tells me she can get me and my counselor in touch with another lady who can help me petition the court. By early December, I see my counselor, she tells me I should be able to have an appointment with her in a week or two, but I havenÂ’t been able to get in touch with her since I saw her. And on Christmas eve, I got into a huge argument with my mom and grandparents over me breaking and throwing stuff in the yard and my mom refusing to buy me **** with my own disability money.

And yeah, thatÂ’s how this year went for me.