Roll Call 172

Desoxyn · Aug 07, 2020 at 05:47 PM

Need a mind rest

falcon09 · Aug 07, 2020 at 06:56 PM

mind is all over the place tonight

Desoxyn · Aug 07, 2020 at 08:12 PM

Can't focus

Desoxyn · Aug 07, 2020 at 08:21 PM

I wonder if my meds interfere with my ability to meditate

Desoxyn · Aug 07, 2020 at 08:28 PM

I chewed 8mg of nicotine gum and feel more "in of it" slightly. I took L-Tyrosine which should help replenish my dopamine.

I'm learning about meditation. I'll teach you guys! I think meditation is my most important thing that I'll be doing over the next few weeks.

Like 5-10 times, people have recommended meditation to me more than anything else. So I'm gonna set a time to do it - Since it's summer, I can do it outside on the front lawn. There's a fence so people won't see me.

It'll be good.. I feel sad.. lol..

newtus · Aug 07, 2020 at 08:33 PM

It’s like I barely eat anymore. I don’t find myself thinking about food all the time either. I feel fine tho. I eat 2 or 3 small meals a day and no snacking. Wow. That’s a big deal for me.

falcon09 · Aug 07, 2020 at 08:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

It’s like I barely eat anymore. I don’t find myself thinking about food all the time either. I feel fine tho. I eat 2 or 3 small meals a day and no snacking. Wow. That’s a big deal for me.

I didn't eat very often on Vraylar, it had a kinda stimulant effect on me.

Desoxyn · Aug 07, 2020 at 08:50 PM

Food is bad!

No jk. A healthy amount of food is what I eat. I eat really healthy except I enjoy walks to the gas station and end up buying a coke almost every day - Along with chocolates etc.

But yeah I'm gonna find a way to become immortal. I know that there's a way. I wouldn't have thought otherwise without my trips.

I will prepare with spirituality a lot and then take the spiritual chemicals if I feel like it is time. I decided not to smoke DMT because I felt like it wasn't time - Since I deal with psychosis. I threw it away.

Desoxyn · Aug 07, 2020 at 08:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

It’s like I barely eat anymore. I don’t find myself thinking about food all the time either. I feel fine tho. I eat 2 or 3 small meals a day and no snacking. Wow. That’s a big deal for me.

Mett..forminn...

You should feel more energy eventually. I should have warned you that the low blood sugar at the start would make you depressed but idk

cogladaid · Aug 07, 2020 at 10:03 PM

You ever feel sometimes that things are too good?

I have a good job. I’m studying successfully. I have a balanced mental state. Everything is going good despite there being a pandemic going on.

Inside my mind it wants to push a reset button. Wants me to go off my meds and go crazy. Be delusional and starving myself and washing my hands obsessively worried that if I don’t something bad will happen.

I don’t want that. By mind drifts to it. Wants the chaos. I wish these thoughts would just go away.

Desoxyn · Aug 07, 2020 at 10:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cogladaid

You ever feel sometimes that things are too good?

I have a good job. I’m studying successfully. I have a balanced mental state. Everything is going good despite there being a pandemic going on.

Inside my mind it wants to push a reset button. Wants me to go off my meds and go crazy. Be delusional and starving myself and washing my hands obsessively worried that if I don’t something bad will happen.

I don’t want that. By mind drifts to it. Wants the chaos. I wish these thoughts would just go away.

You're doing good! Don't worry.. What you're doing is enough and absolutely great! I wish I could get to that point - I'm getting there. Sometimes I feel the way you do and just want to go nuts - That's my main feeling when I want to take 'something' that will make me lose control...

It gets us no where. I've spent long years out of control. In the back of our minds, we're always like "I need to let go and just go straight into the abyss of mental illness".. But the abyss is hell.. It is also love.. And you can find it with the opposite...

WastingAsparagus · Aug 07, 2020 at 11:16 PM

Not a great day for me... Just a bunch of arguing and stuff over stupid things. At least I could rehire my therapist, so that's good. Now for the pdoc.

I think medication has little to no effect on some of my symptoms, such as the obsessive compulsive crap and the impulsivity and certain other things like anxiety.

I suppose it controls the psychosis, but honestly I don't even know anymore!

Desoxyn · Aug 07, 2020 at 11:32 PM

Having depersonalization. Took a benzo and gonna drink chamomile tea.

Idk why this keeps happening it's almost every night now. I can't make sense of it all.

bpcyclist · Aug 08, 2020 at 12:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Tried taking a nap yesterday and kept hearing voices. So annoying. I thought it was my Mom but she denied it. Usually my voices are male but these ones sounded female or non-gender specific.

I get voices like that sometimes, Kit hugs!!

bpcyclist · Aug 08, 2020 at 12:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cogladaid

You ever feel sometimes that things are too good?

I have a good job. I’m studying successfully. I have a balanced mental state. Everything is going good despite there being a pandemic going on.

Inside my mind it wants to push a reset button. Wants me to go off my meds and go crazy. Be delusional and starving myself and washing my hands obsessively worried that if I don’t something bad will happen.

I don’t want that. By mind drifts to it. Wants the chaos. I wish these thoughts would just go away.

That is your illness trying to harm you, Cog. Don't listen to it

Hugs.

bpcyclist · Aug 08, 2020 at 12:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WastingAsparagus

Not a great day for me... Just a bunch of arguing and stuff over stupid things. At least I could rehire my therapist, so that's good. Now for the pdoc.

I think medication has little to no effect on some of my symptoms, such as the obsessive compulsive crap and the impulsivity and certain other things like anxiety.

I suppose it controls the psychosis, but honestly I don't even know anymore!

Good for you, Asparagae. Maybe that T can help u w some of these issues.

Hugs.

bpcyclist · Aug 08, 2020 at 12:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

Having depersonalization. Took a benzo and gonna drink chamomile tea.

Idk why this keeps happening it's almost every night now. I can't make sense of it all.

Invega does not help?

Angelique67 · Aug 08, 2020 at 08:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Good to see you Angelique!! Hope you get to see your friend this weekend.

Hi Kit! Thank you! I hope I'll get to see him.

Angelique67 · Aug 08, 2020 at 08:58 AM

It's 10am already. I'm going to be out of podcasts soon. Then what will I do.

WastingAsparagus · Aug 08, 2020 at 09:58 AM

Hey all, doing better this morning. I am attending a Meetup this week (it's online and virtual, of course). I am excited for that. It's about the Spanish language.

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Roll Call 172

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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,988 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,912 hugs given	Aug 07, 2020 at 05:47 PM #941 Need a mind rest
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falcon09 Grand Magnate Member Since Feb 2015 Location: United States Posts: 3,018 9 1,867 hugs given	Aug 07, 2020 at 06:56 PM #942 mind is all over the place tonight __________________
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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,988 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,912 hugs given	Aug 07, 2020 at 08:12 PM #943 Can't focus
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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,988 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,912 hugs given	Aug 07, 2020 at 08:21 PM #944 I wonder if my meds interfere with my ability to meditate
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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,988 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,912 hugs given	Aug 07, 2020 at 11:32 PM #953 Having depersonalization. Took a benzo and gonna drink chamomile tea. Idk why this keeps happening it's almost every night now. I can't make sense of it all.
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Angelique67 Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Oct 2014 Location: USA Posts: 22,115 (SuperPoster!) 9	Aug 08, 2020 at 08:58 AM #959 It's 10am already. I'm going to be out of podcasts soon. Then what will I do.
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WastingAsparagus Student of Life Member Since Mar 2014 Location: South America Posts: 4,658 10 2,911 hugs given	Aug 08, 2020 at 09:58 AM #960 Hey all, doing better this morning. I am attending a Meetup this week (it's online and virtual, of course). I am excited for that. It's about the Spanish language. __________________ "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!”
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