Roll Call 175

newtus · Sep 21, 2020 at 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WastingAsparagus

What will your major be? Minors can be fun, too. I majored in both Spanish and philosophy in college. That is exciting that you get to choose.

Philosophy is my major

Blue_Bird · Sep 21, 2020 at 05:15 PM

Had a healthy dinner. Tomorrow I've got to go to CVS to pick up meds and vacuum my apartment.

Sat outside in the sun for 25 minutes today. Got sunburnt

WastingAsparagus · Sep 21, 2020 at 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

Philosophy is my major

Excellent! Other majors are great, too, but I have a particular interest in philosophy.

Erti · Sep 21, 2020 at 05:32 PM

welp I made some scrambled eggs for the kitty. Just gave her one egg with nothing in it but the egg. It was a hit.. she ate half.

newtus · Sep 21, 2020 at 05:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WastingAsparagus

Excellent! Other majors are great, too, but I have a particular interest in philosophy.

Same here!!! I love it so much!

Desoxyn · Sep 21, 2020 at 05:50 PM

There's so many things that I want to explain here but don't know how. I want to go to school but I feel like my cognition isn't good anymore. I'm not scared of failure but I just need to know where to start. I'm not very good at knowing about the step ladder of schooling. No one educated me on it during high school.

newtus · Sep 21, 2020 at 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

There's so many things that I want to explain here but don't know how. I want to go to school but I feel like my cognition isn't good anymore. I'm not scared of failure but I just need to know where to start. I'm not very good at knowing about the step ladder of schooling. No one educated me on it during high school.

It’s ok. I didn’t know about the ladder of schooling and the processes to get there til I was 25 or 26. Neither about how high school was important for college either. I was too sick in my late teens and early twenties. Plus I seem to be a “late bloomer” when it comes to things in general. I didn’t get into rap until 4 years ago, for example. Weird I know.

Desoxyn · Sep 21, 2020 at 06:02 PM

I feel so much stress. I'm overwhelmed by the amount of things that my open mindedness has sucked me into. I can't escape. I need to organize it all. When I try to organize it on the computer, I can't do the same in my head.

Practicing mindfulness helps me but that means letting go of everything. I just hold onto it all and become forgetful - Can't explain things to anyone about the things that I do at the top of my head. It's killing me. I have to prepare what to say to everyone and I replay it all in my head over and over to near perfection - And then it doesn't go the way that I planned but good enough.

That's how I function. And people keep putting me down and criticizing small details in my ability to try. It just makes me want to give up. I never knew that there was this realm outside of sleeping all day - No one criticized me then. Why now? I could easily just not care and be no one - But my strive is to be better and be happy - Because I sure as hell was depressed for many years.

bpcyclist · Sep 21, 2020 at 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

I don't feel good mentally.

Just gonna have to wait this out. I get my Invega injection tomorrow. I was supposed to get it last Friday but I forgot.

Hugs, Des.

bpcyclist · Sep 21, 2020 at 06:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 12AM

Possible trigger:

I’m so devastated from the news that Tamster passed away. We used to talk often, once a week or two, for years. I didn’t reply to her last message to me because I was under stress. **** me and my isolation habit. I’m a bad friend. I hate myself a lot.

I am so sorry for your loss, 12. Hugs.

Desoxyn · Sep 21, 2020 at 06:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

It’s ok. I didn’t know about the ladder of schooling and the processes to get there til I was 25 or 26. Neither about how high school was important for college either. I was too sick in my late teens and early twenties. Plus I seem to be a “late bloomer” when it comes to things in general. I didn’t get into rap until 4 years ago, for example. Weird I know.

Yeah I think I'm the same "late bloomer". I never thought about that before. I was so mentally sick too. It kept me in the shadows.

But you're an inspiration. I get a lot of inspiration from people here on Roll Call because most of us have been psychotic to the point where there's severe dysfunction in thoughts, emotions and actions - Like completely different from the usual normal part of life that most people go through.

I felt so much better last year though. We're all in this together I suppose. I should be grateful that I'm not in a California fire or something and not as unwell.

newtus · Sep 21, 2020 at 06:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

Yeah I think I'm the same "late bloomer". I never thought about that before. I was so mentally sick too. It kept me in the shadows.

But you're an inspiration. I get a lot of inspiration from people here on Roll Call because most of us have been psychotic to the point where there's severe dysfunction in thoughts, emotions and actions - Like completely different from the usual normal part of life that most people go through.

I felt so much better last year though. We're all in this together I suppose. I should be grateful that I'm not in a California fire or something and not as unwell.

You are special to all of us here. Super smart and kind/willing to talk to others.

Desoxyn · Sep 21, 2020 at 06:21 PM

My mom went for a hike (I didn't go cuz it's a ****** day) and called me to get her glasses from her purse and bring them to work for her zoom meeting. I thought she was asking me to get her beta blocker (Nadolol) cuz she sounded out of breath. **** scared me..

Desoxyn · Sep 21, 2020 at 06:28 PM

I'm not gonna smoke weed anymore.. Again.. I smoked it once a day for the past 3 days and I feel like my cognition went south.

Desoxyn · Sep 21, 2020 at 06:36 PM

I'm gonna drink a coffee cuz people say that it counteracts marijuana

Desoxyn · Sep 21, 2020 at 07:00 PM

I saw "444" four times in a few days so I had to search it cuz people do those things and it said "Angels" were "guiding me". It was that night I stayed up like 50 hours - I never stayed awake that long before. It was from phenibut withdrawal.

Now I keep seeing "555" and it says;

Roll Call 175

I mean I don't believe in these things but it's nice to think about. I would be like "complete bs" before my trips.

Scientifically, placebo would be the cause. And I can manifest that in myself.

There's also such thing as the "Nocebo effect" - "A nocebo effect is said to occur when negative expectations of the patient regarding a treatment cause the treatment to have a more negative effect than it otherwise would have."

Desoxyn · Sep 21, 2020 at 07:28 PM

Pls ignore my nonsense Imma go read... Just having a cloudy day..

newtus · Sep 21, 2020 at 07:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

Pls ignore my nonsense Imma go read... Just having a cloudy day..

Let’s hope that cloudy day turns into a nice sun and cool weather day.

Desoxyn · Sep 21, 2020 at 09:22 PM

Watched an episode of "Connected" on Netflix. It's really good. I recommend

Desoxyn · Sep 21, 2020 at 09:34 PM

217 Fun Things to Do When You Are Bored (Ideas for 2020!)

This is actually a smart list. The person that made this is aware and has a mind - It's not mindless crap.

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Roll Call 175

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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,796 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.4k hugs given	Sep 21, 2020 at 05:15 PM #82 Had a healthy dinner. Tomorrow I've got to go to CVS to pick up meds and vacuum my apartment. Sat outside in the sun for 25 minutes today. Got sunburnt __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Erti Princess Tutu Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Nowhere Posts: 7,912 12 2,894 hugs given	Sep 21, 2020 at 05:32 PM #84 welp I made some scrambled eggs for the kitty. Just gave her one egg with nothing in it but the egg. It was a hit.. she ate half.
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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 13,006 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,919 hugs given	Sep 21, 2020 at 05:50 PM #86 There's so many things that I want to explain here but don't know how. I want to go to school but I feel like my cognition isn't good anymore. I'm not scared of failure but I just need to know where to start. I'm not very good at knowing about the step ladder of schooling. No one educated me on it during high school.
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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 13,006 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,919 hugs given	Sep 21, 2020 at 06:21 PM #93 My mom went for a hike (I didn't go cuz it's a **** day) and called me to get her glasses from her purse and bring them to work for her zoom meeting. I thought she was asking me to get her beta blocker (Nadolol) cuz she sounded out of breath. ** scared me..
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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 13,006 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,919 hugs given	Sep 21, 2020 at 06:28 PM #94 I'm not gonna smoke weed anymore.. Again.. I smoked it once a day for the past 3 days and I feel like my cognition went south.
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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 13,006 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,919 hugs given	Sep 21, 2020 at 06:36 PM #95 I'm gonna drink a coffee cuz people say that it counteracts marijuana
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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 13,006 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,919 hugs given	Sep 21, 2020 at 07:28 PM #97 Pls ignore my nonsense Imma go read... Just having a cloudy day..
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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 13,006 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,919 hugs given	Sep 21, 2020 at 09:22 PM #99 Watched an episode of "Connected" on Netflix. It's really good. I recommend
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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 13,006 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,919 hugs given	Sep 21, 2020 at 09:34 PM #100 217 Fun Things to Do When You Are Bored (Ideas for 2020!) This is actually a smart list. The person that made this is aware and has a mind - It's not mindless crap.
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