[Slater]

I recovered from a major psychosis last year. I had never been through anything like it before and never expected to ever go through something like it. This here is a list of things I thought/believed while in my psychosis:

1. The main delusion was that I believed people were watching me somehow. At first I thought people were just watching me through my webcam and/or cell phone camera. Then it evolved into me believing there were cameras in the walls ALL OVER my house. Then my delusions got much bigger - I thought perhaps there was a satellite camera in space capturing my every move. I had classic "Truman Show" Syndrome. Like the movie The Truman Show, I believed my life was a sort of television show and that people had been watching me every day for years.

2. At first I thought only one person was stalking me - and then wanting to kill me for some reason. Then it evolved into thinking the ILLUMINATI was targeting me. Or perhaps some kind of murder group on the Dark Web.

3. I was a member of a different Internet forum. I became convinced the members of this forum were not who they claimed to be. I thought the forum was a "front" for something more evil and sinister. Again, either Dark Web stuff or Illuminati or something evil.

4. I became convinced that THE ENTIRE INTERNET was devoted to watching my life unfold and that everything written in the media and shown on TV -- commercials, shows, news, etc -- was CRYPTICALLY about me. I began seeing the number "12" everywhere and was convinced "12" was a secret Illuminati code number. This was so weird that to this day, I still get worried when I see someone say "12" online.

5. I thought that Donald Trump was like an avatar being used to represent me, and that I was the real President of the United States, and that every move I made dictated how the world stage was going to unfold.

6. I thought that comic strips and newspaper articles cryptically were created to speak of and talk about me.

7. Biggest delusion -- I thought someone, or a group of people, snuck into my room at night, chloroformed me while I was asleep, and injected me with millions of cancer cells while I slept. I thought I had cancer growing in my body. Brain cancer, lung cancer, male breast cancer, testicular cancer - I thought I was going to get it all. And I thought it was going to start showing itself in the springtime -- when it started to get warm and hot outside. I was deathly afraid that heat was going to cause cancer to pop out of my body - that I would get sick and die in the summer months, be dead by fall. I was convinced that people on the internet everywhere knew this and were cryptically talking about it.

8. I thought my family were aliens from outer space intent to kill me.

9. I thought I had "handlers" that followed me everywhere I went, and lived on my street in a different house (I never knew which one).

There's other stuff, but I can't think of it all, and it's been awhile since I had these delusions. I had no health insurance and wanted to get checked out by a doctor. I committed myself to a mental hospital last year and stayed only a week. I was prescribed Abilify and Prozac (later Rexulti instead of Abilify). MY DELUSIONS WENT AWAY. Not in the hospital, but after I came home. Strangely, they seemed to get better once I started the Prozac.

I never believed I was crazy. I didn't expect psychiatry to work.

BUT IT DID. And I'm a sane person again today.

[Marylin]

I thought that there were aliens half human reptiles in control I knew them as the illuminati.They were fascist and fighting for control of every organisation like the doctors surgery and the mental facility I was in.They needed human blood and would have transfusions at the gp surgeries when they were shut to human patients.I thought everyone communicated telepathically and could read minds as could I.I thought specific delusions about my sister and brother in law that they were separated and getting divorced when they weren't!

I thought the walls and ceilings and rooms in the mental facility that I was in were shinking this wasn't helped by some of the rooms being really small and the doctors in them being six foot tall.My delusion was that unless I paced around the building continuously in a circle the whole building would continue to shrink.Then there was the delusion that the fascists has ceased control of the country.Very frightening!

[Tamster]

most of the time i have North Korean Spies that will come to my room and wait for me to lay down to sleep then tie me down and perform surgery on me, mostly my head and heart. Even when i can't see them i can hear and smell when they are around. It isn't as bad now that i am on some new meds but they still come around.
One that i have had most of my life are mechanical spiders crawling on my desk and dropping from my ceiling. There doesn't seem to be any fix for them i just try to tolerate them, if it wasn't so hot outside i could stay out there but it is much to warm.
4 yrs ago i would have red fungus that would crawl on my keyboard and cover my hands when i was typing but that has not been a problem in a long time.
I wonder everyday if its over or not. But i know its not and probably never will be.
tams

[MidnightManiac]

I had auditory hallucinations. The Norse trickster god would talk to me. Still does sometimes. It was hard not to get caught answering. I talked to my psychiatrist about it and asked whether he was going to medicate that god out of me, but he smiled and said no. I don't know if it's because he found it unnecessary or cute.

-FBI outside my house

- FBI featuring me on the news

-FBI stopping me from watching cartoons

- people who I don't even know dying in fires

- green/ yellow lights that follow me everywhere I go

but mostly FBI stuff

a plain crash in my bathroom

[Aviza]

Well I get auditory hallucinations. I have talks with various famous people. Satan, God, Jesus was my husband and having an affair with the woman whose my case manager, younger, better hair. We had 3 kids, one looked just like a mini Jesus.

I was talking with Prince Harry and Prince William. I'm American. Prince William didn't want Prince Harry to marry Megan instead he wanted him to marry me, so I was going through tests but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't pull him from Megan they are solid.

I was auditioning for producers and writing songs that other spirits helped me write. Including David Ghetta who stole my song about my son, he's favored by God. He tied his hands to mine to steal more of my ideas.

I wrote out stars on paper, burned pictures of ex family members, and burned songs written about or by the devil we had a sexual relationship he was really into me, i prayed and begged God to save me.

These hallucinations lasted about a year and aren't in sequence. Because I remembered out of order.

When Brittney Spears went crazy she was part of my hallucination. Back than Brad Pitt was really into me, hallucinating, this is circa 2006 But I thought he was the devil disguised so I tried to marry him to Brittney Spears. She went crazy that very day. Simon Cowell is also part of my psychosis. I just remember him being around not exactly sure the interactions. I think he was like a father figure. Keanu proposed to me the 2nd hallucinating experience I decided to say yes prior times always said no.

I always feel like there are tests I have to pass experiences I'm supposed to have.

Oh forgot at the hospital I was talking to Jehovah. My vision went from 20/15 to needing glasses again. I was virtually blind for a week before my family brought me an old pair of glasses. I believed Satan healed my eyes in attempt to take my soul. I always wanted lazik. Jehovah undid Satan's work, but healed my foot. Saved my soul. I felt under spiritual attack. I asked to be rebaptized my church said no. I was reading the bible a lot using lavendar oil. I told God I would struggle the rest of my life if it meant my soul was saved. I really believe my soul was on the line. My eyes were really healed now they are not.

[angellady1]

1. I also thought security cameras were watching me and targeting me
2. I thought I was a buddha or buddha like supreme figure
3. I strongly believed in numerology and took numbers very seriously and to the extreme
4. I gave meaning to super trivial events
5. Also had illuminati delusions that I was in the illuminati and a powerful person
6. Mostly i felt very spiritual but it was out of control

I had two psychotic episodes and these are some recurring themes

[Tamster]

i have one recurring halucination that has bothered me for years, sometimes it goes away for a few days but always returns. I have mechanical spiders drop from my cieling the sounds they make are unsettling, they seem to come out more at night in the dark when i am sitting at my desk. Their legs make clicking metal sounds when they move. They drop all over me and in my bed.
thanks for letting me share.
tams

[HALLIEBETH87]

That satan was attacking me with stressful
Situations and I had to sing Christian worship music go protect myself or
He would attack my family and friends too

[Under*Over]

-That God would take care of me if I stopped my meds. That he was telling me to stop them and trust in him instead.

-That “men in black” were coming to take me away.

-That the walls had eyes.

-That demons were talking to me in my sleep. That my grandmother was being tortured in hell (demons told me this in my dreams, said that EVERYONE goes to hell in the end)

- That people were going to secret meetings about how to kil me and were spying on me and talking about me. (This was a psychotic episode a while back)

-That I was being sent messages in fortune cookies.

I cant remember anything else. My delusions seem to blur into each other and become just one giant experience of messed upness.

I hallucinate more than I am delusional.

[elizathornberry]

One morning I woke up a bit disoriented and panicked, sat straight up in the bed and started screaming at my mother as she was trying to calm me down, I was telling her to get out and get away from me and not to touch me, to leave me alone etc. Because, although she was just trying to wake me up for school- I believed she was lab personnel, working for a strange, social experiment which I was in- where I was being watched, monitored like a patient and, made to believe my mother and father were really my mother and father, when in fact they were actually just lab personnel working for the experiment.

I also took down notes of the times I woke up in the night because I thought they had significance and that added together in the right way, they created a code that created a message, which the clock was communicating to me? (something larger behind the clock like, something ruling over everyone but there were secrets in the details like this)

and I started unifying strange ideologies and finding patterns in things that weren't there. Thought about aliens, space, mars, religion, ancient cultures and history, and philosophies, like things about the da Vinci code and, Michelangelo, etc, etc. and government conspiracies. And just started linking it all together and thinking about all of it too much and creating patterns out of nothing or, theories and conspiracies that were wild and delusional.

[elizathornberry]

Once I was in a psychiatric unit which I voluntarily signed into for treatment, a few days in I started becoming paranoid and untrusting of the setting I was in, when they perscribed me a medication and tried to urge me or force me to take it- though I was initially told everything would be my choice and I didn't have to take any meds I didn't want to. And that I could leave at any time.

Though when I asked to leave they tried to stop me twice. When I refused meds, they continually tried to force and coerce and persuade me.

Eventually I played along, put the meds in my mouth. And nodded and listened when they asked me about why I shouldn't leave, as if I agreed with them. Saying, "yeah you're totally right." "I've changed my mind! "

And then I spit the meds out from under my tongue into a trash can, and I snuck out of the facility through the kitchen. Never went back, or took that medication. They gave me buspar and Abilify. On top of what I was already taking, lexapro.

LOL

[bpcyclist]

I have several but one of the hardest is that I am constantly being followed. People, cars, helicopters, trains. Everything. Makes it pretty hard to leave the house sometimes.

[sophiebunny]

I don't want to give THEM any reason to return. I'll keep THEM to myself. It's safer that way.

[Marylin]

That I could eat what I wanted and feed my sugar addiction and lose weight and get healthy....didn't understand that I was really killing myself.
I still have the delusions that I had under psychosis that the people in power worship satan and want to enslave the world's population and use us as cogs in a wheel
for their profit and pleasure. That they consider us as useless eaters and themselves as super beings that are held back by the lesser mortals who are a burden and that we should be exterminated. They are known as the illuminati.

[Ceara1010]

I was about to start a thread asking people to share their delusions but I found there already is one. My delusions are very similar to the one's had by the person who began this thread: I thought I was at the center of an FBI investigation and also thought I was being monitored in real time by cameras in my apartment and via satellite. Everywhere I went I thought I was being technology-stalked. While I was in the hospital, I thought everyone there was some kind of undercover FBI agent. But the delusion is that all these people are trying to help me, not hurt me.

It's been difficult for me because I was actually stalked at by someone whose been gaslighting me. I have to sort out what was real from what was delusional, caused by the trauma of that situation. My delusions appear to be from PTSD more than schizophrenia or bipolar disorder.

[Marylin]

I believed what David Icke is saying about reptilian aliens being in control of the world and trying to create hell on earth.
It was scary and a lot of the time I was paranoid.

[HALLIEBETH87]

Over Christmas and new year I was inpatient with depression and psychosis. I believed satan was attacking me with bad thoughts and images of ways to hurt myself. I thought it was bc things were going so well in my life. I did end up self harming and it was just an overall sucky experience. I was in a camera room the whole time.

[HALLIEBETH87]

Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87

Over Christmas and new year I was inpatient with depression and psychosis. I believed satan was attacking me with bad thoughts and images of ways to hurt myself. I thought it was bc things were going so well in my life. I did end up self harming and it was just an overall sucky experience. I was in a camera room the whole time.

Also my diagnosis was officially changed to schizoaffective bp type

[The_little_didgee]

I experienced psychosis in my mid twenties. During that time I became very paranoid. It felt like I was being watched through the TV, web camera and magazines. Any photo with eyes would stare back at me and it was a very penetrating stare. My privacy was gone, including what I was thinking. Everything about me the public could see and hear.

The world was grey and cold. The bottom half was red. The North Koreans were taking over the world and I was the only one who knew. Gradually I felt like I was being pursued, because I knew this was happening. This information was being communicated to me through magazines and the TV. It was also revealed in my dreams.

This experience was torture. It made me very anxious. The agitation I had was also bad. At times it got severe that I would just walk around the city at night for hours and hours, just so I wouldn't violently explode. One time I walked by a hospital and thought about going to Emergency but didn't, because 5 years previously, I had a traumatic psychiatric experience. I was misdiagnosed with BPD and accused of attention seeking. I wasn't going to submit myself to that again, so I walked past the place. - I got treated thanks to a social worker. The Zyprexa started to clear my thinking within 3 days.

For years I was was sort of ashamed of this experience. I never really discussed it in depth until recently with my psychiatrist, who wasn't treating me at that time.

[Nix]

I have listed pages and pages of them, and could probably fill new pages, because it just never ends. I had a psych folder for a while where I would draw little flow charts and try to put everything together to organize the chaos and try to get everything on paper, but I eventually just threw it away and now I don't even bother trying to remember or list all the beliefs I've had that people find delusional. It's just part of my life.

[Gasplessy]

I had a "brief" obsessive psychotic episode last year mostly involving feelings through a person following 1.5 year of no contact and unsolved issue

It is possible that i removed a part of the experience from my mind while trying to cope with what happened before and unable to share any feelings about with anyone.
One day i saw some updates from him on a social media and i went very alarmed and confused after reading (between the lines) that he had been into some problems and depression -also because of what happened with me -it wasn't explicit at first though-. Like he write short updates, normal things but i understood he had been bad and i had like a sudden epyphany and regret

I was so frustated and confused that i vomit twice while crying. i still feel i could have this symptom when i think about though is rare
I didn't know what to do and who to talk to, i called a helpline and was not able to explain
I was coming out from a period of self isolation and unemployment and possibly ny mental health was really down in that moment because i couldn't realize something in my behaviour

I tried to contact him and send confused messages because i felt a desperate need to hear from him
He accepted to meet me even if i could feel that he saw that i wasn't mentally ok

When we met i was in a catatonic state and it ended with him running away and cutting the contacts again
I never found the courage to write to him even if the psychosis climax was over

Problem is since i couldn't talk clearly we never had a closure and that was crazy.
Never heard from him since them, he blocked me, then unblocked. Silence, fog

I should explain more but it's been a nightmare

I guess at least now he's forgetting me or moving on, but his life has been damaged, made him lose time

This never happened to me in my life before
Psychotherapy couldn't help me in time as at first i couldn't reach for it

Very bad experience, couldn't fix and also new year started badly
I'm praying trying to heal

[Sukoon]

I feel like every time I go out people are looking at me. Somewhat like the Truman Show I guess? But not everyone. Just some people. Either someone I know from school, or strangers. And they observe me, recording everything I say so they can use it against me later. And looking at my every move to find my weaknesses. I also feel like someone is monitoring everything I do, from putting cameras in my room, to reading what I’m writing at the moment in this message.

I haven’t told anyone (except you, reading this). Is it a delusion?

[SlumberKitty]

I was having what I think might have been a delusion today of something pouring off of me, not like water but something stickier. I think it might have been a delusion because I've had something similar that others have told me was a delusion and trying to reality test it, my chair isn't wet, my clothes aren't wet or dirty, etc. I get all sorts of delusions. Actually maybe that was a hallucination. A tactile one. I'm not sure. Anyway, I'm pretty sure it didn't happen though it felt very real at the time. Very convincing.