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Sometimes psychotic
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Default Dec 27, 2020 at 10:23 PM
  #41
OMG last mandolorian was awesome.....

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Default Dec 27, 2020 at 10:34 PM
  #42
Vyvanse crash

I want to live life

But the way things went so far are horrifying

I'm scared and feel alone

Although easily can just decide to be optimistic

I regret my past life and want to go back and change it all
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Default Dec 27, 2020 at 10:35 PM
  #43
Wondering why I have like a severe reaction every time I read something about spirituality... I read one part of this book and I’m like out of it for several hours. I guess it’s just hard to stay balanced, kind of like what Desoxyn was saying about balance. I guess I probably know why I react that way when I read about spirituality and it has to do with the fact that my first psychotic episode was basically caused by my spirituality. It’s a long story but I guess I am healing from that.

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Default Dec 27, 2020 at 10:35 PM
  #44
I think so much about my past that I start to dream about it at night. It's all I think or dream about.
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Default Dec 27, 2020 at 10:36 PM
  #45
It’s like I either think “no internet at all” or “lots of internet” and there’s no middle ground.

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Default Dec 27, 2020 at 10:39 PM
  #46
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Originally Posted by WastingAsparagus View Post
It’s like I either think “no internet at all” or “lots of internet” and there’s no middle ground.
Lol there is doing a "dopamine fast" where you basically stay away from notifications, internet, phone etc.. But idk if it works.

I need a vacation. I need the world to be better. BUT .. we go into this black hole.

But there is always the sun that rises again...

Often we need some sort of magical ecstasy for a short time to let us know that there's hope and to keep going...
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Default Dec 27, 2020 at 10:43 PM
  #47
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Lol there is doing a "dopamine fast" where you basically stay away from notifications, internet, phone etc.. But idk if it works.

I need a vacation. I need the world to be better. BUT .. we go into this black hole.

But there is always the sun that rises again...

Often we need some sort of magical ecstasy for a short time to let us know that there's hope and to keep going...
I have heard about dopamine fasts too, not sure if they work either. Yeah makes sense. I guess I shouldn’t be too hard on myself about being human and needing that extra hope sometimes.

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Default Dec 28, 2020 at 11:18 AM
  #48
I’m sorry I haven’t been on here or AC much. I’m really sorry. I have been on WoW sometimes but in general I’m just trying to work on bettering myself and my relationship in real life. It sucks cuz I’ve let myself go in all ways. Physically, mentally, emotionally... and even with things around the house since I lost my job. I didn’t realize how bad it was or how bad I’ve gotten and it makes me depressed. Very depressed.

Something’s gotta change. Which is why I’m doing this noom/Sanvello thing and just yea. I’m cutting out alcohol today. I put that in my I Am Sober app.

I may have to cut off my therapist. I can’t afford her at 70 per session. I never really could.

I feel completely defeated in my real life. And I’ve deleted a bunch of people including family members from my fb and just people who don’t like me or don’t deserve to see my success or even failures. I also need to get off social media so much. I hate that. Either that or when I do post keep it like not so much info about my personal life. Idk.

I don’t count PC as social media, rather as a peer support group/forum. So I will be here, tho.

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Default Dec 28, 2020 at 11:58 AM
  #49
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I’m sorry I haven’t been on here or AC much. I’m really sorry. I have been on WoW sometimes but in general I’m just trying to work on bettering myself and my relationship in real life. It sucks cuz I’ve let myself go in all ways. Physically, mentally, emotionally... and even with things around the house since I lost my job. I didn’t realize how bad it was or how bad I’ve gotten and it makes me depressed. Very depressed.

Something’s gotta change. Which is why I’m doing this noom/Sanvello thing and just yea. I’m cutting out alcohol today. I put that in my I Am Sober app.

I may have to cut off my therapist. I can’t afford her at 70 per session. I never really could.

I feel completely defeated in my real life. And I’ve deleted a bunch of people including family members from my fb and just people who don’t like me or don’t deserve to see my success or even failures. I also need to get off social media so much. I hate that. Either that or when I do post keep it like not so much info about my personal life. Idk.

I don’t count PC as social media, rather as a peer support group/forum. So I will be here, tho.
We’ve known each other for years despite never meeting....I hope you consider me among your irl friends.....

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Default Dec 28, 2020 at 01:41 PM
  #50
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We’ve known each other for years despite never meeting....I hope you consider me among your irl friends.....


Oh I do!!! Definitely!

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Default Dec 28, 2020 at 02:17 PM
  #51
I feel like I'm one of my moms cats..
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Default Dec 28, 2020 at 03:13 PM
  #52
I had depersonalization and derealization last night after the Vyvanse wore off so I took my 10mg of olanzepine and the atenolol - I didn't panic though. I was pretty calm - It just felt like I was tripping. I was having OCD thoughts and depressive symptoms before it happened.

It's very very bizarre. I took 0.25mg of clonazepam and 3.75mg of zopiclone, made chamomile tea then it went away before I went to sleep.

I decided to take 30mg of Vyvanse at 10:30am and another 30mg at 12pm - So hopefully that will prolong the duration of before the crash.
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Default Dec 28, 2020 at 03:21 PM
  #53
Hi guys. I had a rough day yesterday. Thought about going to the hospital to get stabilized but didn't want to go because of Covid and because I don't want to spend New Years in the Psych ward. Not that I care about New Years, I just don't want to start my year out that way. But my Mom helped me and some friends helped me and I managed to make it through okay. So I feel relieved. HUGS to everyone.

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Default Dec 28, 2020 at 03:29 PM
  #54
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Hi guys. I had a rough day yesterday. Thought about going to the hospital to get stabilized but didn't want to go because of Covid and because I don't want to spend New Years in the Psych ward. Not that I care about New Years, I just don't want to start my year out that way. But my Mom helped me and some friends helped me and I managed to make it through okay. So I feel relieved. HUGS to everyone.
I'm glad your mom and friends helped you Did your ring ever come in the mail?

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Default Dec 28, 2020 at 03:31 PM
  #55
I haven't had a panic attack in an entire week. I think what's helping is basically as soon as my anxiety starts up even a little bit I use coping skills and self soothing techniques instead of waiting for panic to set in because once it does it's hard to get rid of. So staying ahead of things is helpful.

I have a phone appointment with my psych NP tomorrow.

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Default Dec 28, 2020 at 04:26 PM
  #56
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I'm glad your mom and friends helped you Did your ring ever come in the mail?
Yeah I got it before Christmas!

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Default Dec 28, 2020 at 04:26 PM
  #57
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I haven't had a panic attack in an entire week. I think what's helping is basically as soon as my anxiety starts up even a little bit I use coping skills and self soothing techniques instead of waiting for panic to set in because once it does it's hard to get rid of. So staying ahead of things is helpful.

I have a phone appointment with my psych NP tomorrow.
That's great Blue_Bird!

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Default Dec 28, 2020 at 04:59 PM
  #58
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I haven't had a panic attack in an entire week. I think what's helping is basically as soon as my anxiety starts up even a little bit I use coping skills and self soothing techniques instead of waiting for panic to set in because once it does it's hard to get rid of. So staying ahead of things is helpful.

I have a phone appointment with my psych NP tomorrow.
Awesome! Also you could be getting used to the Zoloft with the coping mechanisms.
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Default Dec 28, 2020 at 05:31 PM
  #59
Any one planning to stay up for New Years? Any one making New Years Resolutions? I haven't decided if I am making any resolutions. I doubt I can stay up that late. I go to bed early. Like 7 PM. Maybe I will try to stay up until 9 to see the New Years in on the East Coast and just pretend it's that in CA.

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Default Dec 28, 2020 at 05:36 PM
  #60
I undecorated my office today for Christmas. So now it looks all bare!

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