Roll Call 178

I am trying to find a full-time job. I am sick of basically accomplishing nothing.

Don't give up @ Kit. If Vyvanse helps you, you have to let your doctor know and make sure that the pharmacies are doing their job properly.

I remember in the psych ward, the nurses would never give me olanzepine when I really needed it. It took around 3 times for my doctor to tell them that when I need it, to give me the olanzepine.

Didn’t you just get a job?

I got really mad at my mom yesterday. I don't know why. I just felt like she wasn't giving me validation - That I don't have schizophrenia and it's her fault. I said that I hated her.

I don't know why I do that. I'm just traumatized that I didn't stand up for myself or my sister when I was being abused by my ex step dad and I didn't want it to happen again. It comes from regret and OCD thoughts of the past. I don't know why my OCD thoughts are bothering me so much about pointless stupid stuff that happened in the past.

My sister talked to me and I was so apathetic and just started crying heavily because I was in so much mental pain - Maybe from phenibut withdrawal.

I'm not taking the phenibut today and just going to withdraw from it completely. I don't want to throw it away though because it lifts my mood more than anything I've ever taken and makes me feel normal.. So Idk what to do about it..

I went to the store and bought zinc chelate, vitamin C, vitamin D, Advil and melatonin.

I feel like life is extremely hard - I realize that that may be why people say that we go to heaven when we die.. Cuz life is hard af.. We deserve to go to heaven. Imagine.. I used to be an atheist until shroom..

I helped my friend get his medical marijuana card

Yeah it's not full-time though and I haven't started yet. I don't know. I just feel really out of it these days.

I wish I could work full-time but maybe it's not realistic. I just feel like I'm not accomplishing much.

I also kind of want to subscribe to online therapy but I'm already seeing a therapist. I mean isn't that kind of contradictory?

I’d say one step at a time, I’m only working part time and with school it’s a lot....make sure you can handle it before you look for full time.

Good point. Yeah I think I'm gonna stick with my part-time job for now.

My ergonomic grip soft handle crochet hook set came in the mail today, along with my Idiot's Guide, Crochet book. I really like the crochet hooks, they feel really good, much better than the other one's I have. And the storage case they came with is very pretty.

Oh this is interesting. I should try sometime

Yeah I came across it in the artists magazine once......

Strathmore has that Bristol paper, lucky that they sell it here. I only know that people use it for gouache or marker if I remember it correctly.

You’d make an excellent copy writer writing ads for products 😂

Awesome 👏🏻 I haven’t finished my crochet project

Yeah strathmore is what I use....it’s definitely atypical but it gives a different look....

My powerbeats pro wireless earphones came today. I love them. Using them right now to watch YouTube videos. Used them earlier for music and Podcasts. Nice to not be tethered by wires now

Looking up self development books. I've read a few good ones before. Atomic Habits by James Clear, The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a **** by Mark Manson. Now looking for some different ones I haven't read.

It’s not exactly self help but I just finished joyful, it’s about what brings joy to a broad range of humans....

"Empathy, affection, and sociability enhancement - Phenibut has been reported to produce prosocial and mild entactogenic effects which, although much weaker than that of traditional entactogens such as MDMA, are prominent and well-defined even at common doses."

Omg hahahah

I am a writer, tho! I think I’d do great doing copywriting, for ads or anything, but I don’t have enough confidence.

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
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