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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 01:50 AM
  #201
Cant sleeeeeeep

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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 01:56 AM
  #202
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Hey thanks I'm feeling a little better today. I actually finally did some things I really needed to do. Like turn in a letter to the apartment manager, sign some paperwork, mail out some other paperwork, go to Family Dollar. And then for fun I just watched Twilight. I have a phone appointment with my therapist tomorrow.


I hope you're doing okay
Oh, that's great! I'm glad you're feeling better and got a bunch of paperwork done. I always get anxiety when I have mail or forms to deal with. Roll Call 180
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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 02:12 AM
  #203
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On the verge of having a panic attack and having negative thought spiral
One thing you could try next time this happens is raise your arms up over your head, and keep breathing evenly. It's a good physical intervention for lots of things, including panic, coughing, any time you need a change in direction. Roll Call 180
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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 02:27 AM
  #204
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Yeah, I still have that. I have to start using positive affirmations. I keep saying things to myself like
Possible trigger:
and that stuff is getting drilled into my subconscious over time and it's getting harder to believe/think anything else.
Those are horrible thoughts. Try changing the words to help with affirmations. When I was 12 or 13 there was a nasty piece of s*** in school who every day made fun of all my physical defects. To this day I'm uncomfortable about all those physical flaws. I've realized that if only I had punched that pos in the nose it would have stopped on the spot. I regret never having done that. My parents told me to just "ignore him".

I looked for him on the internet and I tracked him down to another north suburb. He never got married I'm glad to say. I want him to suffer as much as he possibly can.

So whose voice tells you those horrible things? Whoever it is, they deserve a punch in the nose, or worse. Don't actually do it though because you'll get in trouble. Roll Call 180
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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 02:32 AM
  #205
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I feel like everyone hates me that I’m annoying everyone.
That's completely untrue.
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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 04:54 AM
  #206
Hi night owls!

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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 04:55 AM
  #207
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Hi night owls!


Hiiiiiii why uuuu up

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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 05:04 AM
  #208
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Hiiiiiii why uuuu up

Who knows...some underlying anxiety?

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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 11:33 AM
  #209
Hey there fancy pants

It's so weird to me that I haven't seen my therapist in person in 1 year now. Just phone calls since covid started . And then to think that I am going on 11 years of working with him in therapy. Where does the time go

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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 12:06 PM
  #210
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Hey there fancy pants

It's so weird to me that I haven't seen my therapist in person in 1 year now. Just phone calls since covid started . And then to think that I am going on 11 years of working with him in therapy. Where does the time go

Yeah I haven’t seen my doctor in person in like a year. I do video calls with my psychologist but just phone calls with my doctor.

I miss in person stuff. But I don’t want to have appointments wearing a mask.
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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 12:08 PM
  #211
I feel a little more focused today. Actually able to get some work done.

So I don’t know if I’m coming down or what. I don’t want to be depressed again. I want to keep high energy but with focus until after my exam on Sunday.
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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 12:16 PM
  #212
I watched a Netflix movie with my mom last night called "Brain on Fire". I think it's the same actor that plays in "Fear of Rain".

When she was at the dinner table in psychosis and then hid in the corner, it was triggering as hell because it reminds me of what happened before I was brought to the hospital where my psychiatrist and my mom cornered me and I was accusing them of things and shouting.

Idk if it would have been that triggering if I wasn't on a micromush dose yesterday but my mom cried. I usually don't get triggered by things.

Anyways I'm driving up to the ski hill nice blue sky =]
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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 12:38 PM
  #213
My doctor appointment went okay yesterday. She was actually there in person so I got to see her which was kind of nice. Or her eyes anyway. We both had masks on. She had mask and goggles. Of course my BP behaved at the doctor's office so she didn't want to believe me that it has been going up even though I took her a paper with my BP stats on it that showed that most days it was high. I told her that when I tried to give platelets that I couldn't because my iron was low and how they had also said my BP was high. She got on me for not bringing in my blood pressure cuff so they could test it but I didn't know I was supposed to so I felt that was uncalled for. She was going on about how I needed a
Possible trigger:
she was saying that the insurance has been on her case because she hasn't done it. I was like who cares? Who is in charge of my health? Me. Who advises me? You. Who cares what the insurance says? But I didn't say that. I just thought it loudly. So she said to be prepared for next time. She got on me for not doing my labs even though my labs are not due until April. She eventually saw that and said I was right. She didn't ask me about my mental health which kind of made me mad but she did check my heart, lungs, ankles, and my asthma. She was preoccupied by another patient after me, even stopping my exam to talk to the nurse about that patient. I sort of felt like I didn't get my $30 worth. But she did give me medicine for the BP. She said not to take it if it was normal or near normal (duh). It was high today so I took it and now I have a headache. I don't get headaches. I get migraines but not headaches and I looked it up and its a side effect of the medication. Bleh. But at least it went okay. I guess.

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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 01:57 PM
  #214
One thing is about the
Possible trigger:
is that I am worried that the doctor could implant a tracking device while she is doing the exam.

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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 01:59 PM
  #215
I've been doing Noom for about 11 days
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which is good. But you get a Noom Coach and I'm not sure if it is a real person or AI. I'm worried they might be spying on me.

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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 02:14 PM
  #216
I think I might have accused my Noom coach of being AI. She said she was from Colorado but that could just be a ploy.

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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 02:50 PM
  #217
About an hour till my appointment with my therapist

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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 02:59 PM
  #218
I think people at work hate me and are out to get me. I saved an excel file in a folder for someone else to access and then the file was deleted. I’m serious the file was deleted. I can prove it. I think they’re just trying to make me look bad.
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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 03:27 PM
  #219
I'm hearing bells. It's kind of pleasant but kind of irritating.

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Default Feb 24, 2021 at 03:46 PM
  #220
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I think I might have accused my Noom coach of being AI. She said she was from Colorado but that could just be a ploy.
Kit, forgive me if you already said, but are you out of your AP meds? It sounds like you're off your meds.
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